


Sleight of Hand and Twist of Fate

by HeadGirl91



Series: With or Without You [1]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amora messes up, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Darcy likes to avoid her problems, Drinking, Engineering, F/M, Feminism, Mild Language, Peggy is a badass, Time Travel, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-05 02:23:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5357372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadGirl91/pseuds/HeadGirl91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amora the Enchantress might have succeeded in her plan to erase Jane from history if Darcy and the Avengers hadn't interrupted. Unfortunately, the interruption had unforeseen side effects...</p>
<p>In 1943, Darcy Lewis, half-sister of Howard Stark, runs into Steve Rogers and both of their lives may never be the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for language, off-screen violence and character death, and some thoughts that may be upsetting. Darcy is overly self-critical and her thoughts reflect this.
> 
> I may have tweaked the timeline a little to make things fit, but I mostly stuck to canon... except where I made Thor 2 not happen... Thor came back to Earth to be with the Avengers sometime after events of The Winter Soldier. I needed Frigga to be alive because of reasons.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy talks too much. Steve busts a window. Amora fucks shit up.

Darcy Lewis doesn't believe in fate. Even after her boss hit a blond Norse god with her car (twice) and then proceeded to fall in love with the man. That wasn't fate. That was just a combination of good timing and poor driving. She loves Jane, but the woman cannot be trusted behind the wheel of any sort of vehicle. Jane can't be trusted with her own welfare half of the time, so being charge of her passengers' welfare is a completely foreign concept.

The idea that certain things had to be 'trusted to fate' has never sat right with Darcy. She has always believed that it is lazy, unimaginative, and far too easy. Real life just doesn't work that way. She always worked hard for whatever she got. Nothing has ever just been handed to her – except maybe that A on her Psych midterm in her freshman year of College, but, hey, the girls had to good for something, right? Or what was the use carting them around all the time? (She bought a pretty new bra as a thank you. Never take your boobs for granted!) Trusting fate, wishing on a star, and dreaming was all well and good if you were a Disney Princess, but if you weren't, it was pretty much a guarantee that life was going to screw you, in the long run.

So, even though she wasn't given much of a choice but to believe that there are alien races out there that, once upon a time, were viewed as gods, she clings firmly to her belief that there was no such thing as fate.

* * *

"I am one of the foremost astrophysicists in the country."

Darcy nods, solemnly and agrees. "Yes, you are."

"Possibly the entire Western Hemisphere."

"Possibly," Darcy conceded.

"I have an IQ of 175."

"I know," Darcy says.

"I can complete the New York Times Crossword Puzzle in less than five minutes."

"Yep," Darcy concurs.

"So why can I not figure out how to use this stupid coffee machine?"

"Because, Jane," Darcy explains, in a patient tone. "You do not respect her. She will not give you coffee unless you first learn to appreciate her."

"Her?" Jane asks, bemused.

Darcy nods. "I have named her Gloria."

Jane blinks at Darcy, looks down at her empty mug, looks to Gloria and then back to Darcy.

" _Coffee_ ," she says, pitifully.

Darcy sighs, holds her hand out for the mug and, once Jane passes it over, goes about making Jane a cup of coffee.

"This is the last time I let Tony Stark build me anything," Jane grumbles as Darcy pushes the mug, now full of steaming coffee, into her hand. "I asked for a coffee machine and I get this stupid piece of crap."

She takes a sip of her coffee and her eyes widen. She looks down at the liquid in her mug before looking back at the coffee machine. "I take it all back," she announces. "Gloria can stay."

Darcy laughs, petting Gloria affectionately. "Stark made this?" she asks. "When did he come by?"

Jane shrugs. "I don't know. I was busy. It was some point in the last week while you were out. He came in, tried to touch the machines and then got pissy when I yelled at him."

"And then he made you a coffee machine?" Darcy couldn't quite connect those dots.

"I wouldn't let him touch anything else, so he got bored," Jane admits. "He started mumbling to himself, drew some stuff on the back of a pop tarts box, and then walked out without even saying anything. I turned around a few hours later and it was there."

Darcy pouts. "Aww! How come I haven't even met any of the Avengers, apart from Thor and Hawkeye, but Iron Man makes you coffee machines?"

"Because we're using Stark Industries lab space," Jane points out, savoring her coffee as if it were the nectar of the gods. "After the whole HYDRAgate incident, I'm just glad that we're all okay. Things could have gone very wrong if HYDRA had gotten their sticky fingers on my research. Tony just wanted to give us a safe space to work in."

Darcy opens her mouth to say something, but is cut off by an unexpected voice from behind.

"So this is the great Jane Foster?" the voice scoffs.

Darcy span around to face the direction the voice had come from, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Jane had done the same. The woman standing by the door of the lab was tall and blonde. She was dressed in a similar style to the way Lady Sif dressed when she was not ready for battle, except in green and with far less armor (which Sif seemed to wear a certain amount of, regardless of whether it was required), and far more skin-tight leather. Her blonde hair fell to her waist in waves and was held back from her face by something that was a cross between an alice band and an Asgardian helmet.

"I thought you would be taller," the woman scoffs, eyeing Jane with disdain. "And prettier."

Jane is too shocked to do more than gape at the woman. Darcy, however, manages to keep more wits about her, slipping her hand into her jeans pocket and activating the panic button Jane had given to her when they moved back to New York – another present from Tony Stark – before talking back to the woman.

"Hey!" she shouts, and the woman's attention moves to her now. "Back off!"

The woman looks at Darcy as if she is something particularly nasty stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

"I have no quarrel with you,  _girl,_ " the woman spits. "This is between myself and Jane Foster. It is she who has wronged me."

"Wronged you?" Jane finds her voice, at last. "How have I wronged you? I don't even know you."

"You may not think you have wronged me, but I assure you that for the crime that you have committed against me, I will show you no mercy." The woman smiles cruelly.

She extends her arm, sparks flying between her fingertips as she gracefully points them at Jane.

"Wait!" Darcy bursts out as Jane steps back, head twisting to assess her escape routes. Darcy has to buy some time. If that panic button worked, then some of the Avengers should be on their way. All Darcy has to do is distract the woman until they arrive. Talking. Darcy is good at talking, at least. She has a degree in Political Science. Her whole adult life had been training her for this moment.

"Doesn't she have a right to know what she did wrong?" Darcy asks, desperately. "Wouldn't it be so much better for you if she knows exactly why you're doing this to her? So that she can think about it as you make her feel sorry for it?"

Jane shoots Darcy a look, as if trying to say ' _what are you doing?!'_  Darcy sends her back what she hopes is a reassuring look, patting her pocket surreptitiously. Jane's eyes widen as she understands, and her eyes skirt to the jacket lying over the chair she had been sitting in most of the morning. Her own panic button must be in her jacket.

The woman looks coolly at Darcy, considering. "You may be right. Maybe all Midgardians are not the fools I thought them to be." She turns to Jane, regally drawing herself up. "My name is Amora and you, Jane Foster, are to be punished because Thor is  _mine,_ and I will not have some Midgardian take him from me!"

She said it so seriously, but Darcy and Jane could do nothing but blink at her, and then each other, words just wouldn't come.

"Y-you…" The words seemed to get stuck in Darcy's throat. "You want to punish Jane because you've got a crush on Thor and don't like that Jane got him first?" she asks, unable to keep the incredulity out of her voice, hard though she tried.

Amora looks furiously at her. "It is not a 'crush'!" she spits. "Do not insult me by labeling my love with childish Midgardian terms. Thor and I belong together and if Jane Foster were out of the way, I know that he would finally see it to be true!"

"You think that hurting Jane will make Thor like you?" Darcy asks. "You're delusional."

"Darcy!" Jane gasps. Darcy ignores her and carries on.

"If Thor knows you hurt Jane he would hunt you down. What part of this plan makes any sense at all?" Her hands are on her hips by this point, but she was standing in such a way that, if Amora made a move, she would be ready to dodge.

"You make the mistake of thinking that Thor would know I did  _anything_ to Jane Foster." Amora smiles amusedly. "You think my plan is to harm her? That would be far too easy… and not enough punishment for her. No. You see, I forgot to explain when I introduced myself. In Asgard, the people call me  _Enchantress_. I am well versed in the art of magic and it is this I will use to destroy your life, Jane Foster. I can make it so you were never born; so you and Thor never even met. All your work, the contributions you have made to your community, they are great, are they not, Jane Foster? What do you think this world will be without them, when Loki decides to visit? How do you think Midgard would have fared without your research when the Chitauri invaded? Think on that, Jane Foster."

She lifts her hand once more and Darcy panics. Not enough time. She does the only thing she can think of and dives for Jane, pushing her out of the way just as a figure bursts through the window. The figure grabs her, but they aren't quick enough. The light from Amora's hand hits Darcy and her vision fades to black.

* * *

Thor bursts through the other window a moment later, shortly followed by Iron Man. He takes in Darcy on the floor, unconscious, Jane pushing Steve away to get to her, and takes two steps over to Amora, lifting her off the ground by her throat.

"Enchantress!" he bellows. "What have you done to my friend Darcy?!"

"I-I don't know!" Amora gasps. "I've never tried this spell before now! I do not know what happened!" Her fingers struggled against Thor's grip on her neck but he didn't relent.

"She said she wanted to erase my existence, Thor," Jane tells him, looking over from where she has cradled Darcy's head on her lap. "Make it so I was never born. Darcy got me out of the way and it hit her instead."

Thor's head pivoted back to Amora. "Is this true?" he asks, dangerously. Amora struggled against him, whining. He repeated the question. "Is this true? What have you done to her?" he demands.

"It-it's a very delicate spell..." Amora stammers. "She got in the way. There's no telling how the spell affected her…"

Steve's gasp turns Thor's head immediately.

"What is it Captain?" he asks, trying not to take too much of his attention away from the Enchantress, lest she use his inattention to escape.

Steve has moved so that he could see Darcy and is staring at her, eyes wide.

"Stark," Steve calls, not taking his eyes off of the woman unconscious on the floor.

"Yeah?" Tony replies, from where he's scanning the room, making sure everything is safe.

"Get over here."

Tony does as he is told. He knows Steve's tone is too serious to argue. He walks over to stand next to the Captain and looks down at the prone form of Darcy Lewis. He stands there in shocked silence for a few seconds before opening up the visor, as if to check what he is seeing is real with his own eyes, instead of through the HUD screen.

"Is that..?" he trails off.

"Yes," Steve replies, faintly.

Tony shakes his head as if to clear it. "I mean, I knew her name was Darcy Lewis, but I'd never met her before; Pepper handled her employment stuff she was always out whenever I came by… I didn't make the connection."

"What?" Thor asks, impatiently. "What is happening?"

"I think I know what happened." Steve still hasn't taken his eyes off of Darcy. "She tried to erase Jane from time, right? What's the chance that when Darcy got hit instead, just as I grabbed her, the timeline still got changed, just, instead of  _removing_  somebody from the past-"

"-it  _added_  someone instead?" Tony finished.

Thor takes in the two men who are staring at Darcy with familiarity, despite claiming to have never met her before.

"Oh," he says.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy wants to go home. Steve wants to enlist. Howard just wants to have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was overwhelmed by the response to the prologue! Thank you so much for reading! This was my nanowrimo project. It ended up being a little under 50k in the end after I edited it, plus I counted what I started of the sequel (which I am working on now).
> 
> So, it's all done and I'm thinking I may post every few days cos I'm impatient to get it out but don't wanna just shove it all up in one go.
> 
> So, thank you, and I hope you enjoy!

Darcy Lewis was not in the best of moods.

She  _had_ missed New York, having been dragged all over the globe in the past couple of years. New York was home, and she was happy to be back. What she was  _not_ happy about, however, was her pig-headed brother's insistence on presenting at the Modern Marvels of Tomorrow exhibition.

They had argued over it at length. Darcy tried to convince him that it was a waste of time; time that could be better spent on other things; things that could help the war effort, as he had promised the SSR he would. What good would flying cars in a few years do if the country was invaded by Nazis tomorrow? Every minute that they wasted, more people would die. Howard, however, was a big believer in the proverb 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.' Darcy ended up giving in, in the end, as a bored Howard Stark tended to end in something exploding. Unfortunately, though, Howards interpretations of 'play' were many and varied, although at least half of them required some form of female company.

Darcy ruffled her nose as she walked around the other exhibits. She had walked in on him so many times over the past few years that by this point she knew far more about her brother's sex life than she was comfortable with. But the man seemed to have no shame whatsoever. And, although the different types of women Howard seemed to attract both impressed and shocked her, she could have lived without the experience of Ginger Rogers going for her eyes as Jarvis – their butler – tried to eject her from the premises. Not the most ideal way to meet the woman you wanted to be when you were twelve years old.

Ms Rogers was probably Jarvis's least favorite of Howard's 'playmates' as well. The pair of them had quite a good time gossiping about her as Darcy dressed the scratches the star's fingernails had left down Jarvis's forearms in her unwillingness to leave. Ana, Jarvis's wife, came home while they were finishing up and admonished them for discussing a lady in such a way. The pair exchanged a mirthful look before promising Ana they wouldn't do it again.

Edwin and Ana Jarvis hadn't been with them for very long; it had only been two years since Howard showed up one day with them both in tow, refusing to explain the circumstances in which he had come to know them, but Darcy almost couldn't imagine life without them. They made living with Howard a lot easier, at least.

Darcy had been born when Howard was five years old, the product of an affair his father had had with the woman who sold fabric from the stall next to his own fruit stall at the market. Helen Lewis had given her daughter the name Darcy, being a big fan of Jane Austen, and had instilled the belief in her that she had the same, if not more, worth than any man. When Helen died of tuberculosis just before Darcy turned eight, the Starks took her in, rather than seeing her sent to an orphanage.

Howard's mother never liked her, insisting that Darcy call her Mrs. Stark, and disliked it when she heard Darcy refer to her husband as 'dad'. That's not to say that she was a bad woman. She treated Darcy fairly; better than she would have been treated at an orphanage at any rate. She just resented that Darcy's presence reminded her every day of the fact that her husband had been unfaithful to her. And Darcy's father adored her, however much he wished sometimes that she could be more ladylike.

Nobody could have expected Howard's reaction to her, though. Howard had known Darcy all his life; had known she was his sister. There was no way he could have missed the raging arguments his parents had had since her birth. But he hadn't had much contact with her. When she came to live with them Howard, at the age of twelve, took one look at the eight year old and declared that she would be a good assistant, before dragging her to the basement of the small house they lived with and handing her a welding torch he had made himself.

Thus began Darcy's education in engineering and mechanics. Howard's passion for engineering bled over into Darcy, who had never before considered where the things she used and saw everyday came from. But, before long, she started considering the things in her world; started taking them apart to see how they worked. She would often have to take them to Howard in the early days when she found herself unable to put them back together, but she soon learned enough that that was no longer necessary and, at the age of nineteen, she was one of very few people in the world who could keep up with Howard Stark in terms of intelligence and knowledge of engineering.

Their father and Darcy's mother died in an unfortunate accident when Howard was twenty and Darcy was fifteen. By this point, Howard had become quite successful, setting up his own company and had bought a house that could possibly be called a mansion. He took Darcy in. He never thought about it. Darcy needed a home. He had one. She was his sister and he loved her. Plus, an extra pair of hands in the workshop was always useful.

By the age of eighteen, Darcy had invented a fair number of the products that Stark Industries, Howard's company, was selling. He made sure that she got her share of the profits for them, but had had a frank discussion with her regarding the patents and her involvement.

He knew that she was invaluable and there was no one he regarded with higher respect than her, but he knew that other people wouldn't see it that way. People would hesitate to buy something invented by a woman. He wished it was different, he told her. But it was the truth. He wanted her inventions to have the respect that they deserved because they were amazing feats of engineering, and not have them scrutinized because a woman had designed them.

Darcy didn't like it, and had had what was probably her biggest argument with Howard to date. But, in the end, it was Howard's company. And, loathe as she was to admit it, he was right. As a woman, it would be so much harder for her inventions to be taken seriously. It was sad, but true. She needed the anonymity Stark Industries gave her to market her inventions to the world. Maybe, one day, things would be different, she told herself. There would come a day where she could hold her head high and tell people 'Hey! You know that thing there? I invented that,' and people would be impressed with her and respect her. They wouldn't patronize her, or call her 'such a clever little girl', as if praising a dog for learning a new trick. People would treat her with the same respect that they gave Howard.

That would be the day.

Until that day, she would continue to work with Howard, having people assume that she was his secretary. Most of the time, it was easier to let them assume that than to come out with the truth. There weren't many people who knew that she was his sister, either, and they preferred to keep it that way, just in case any of Howard's rivals thought about targeting her to get to him. It was unlikely, in her opinion, but better to be safe than sorry. The media generally assumed that there was something going on between her and Howard, as he was a notorious womanizer, and she was a woman who spent the majority of her time in his company. When they heard this rumor, Darcy and Howard looked at each other and yelled "Ewww!" in unison.

When Darcy had turned eighteen and left school, Howard wanted her to attend college, but Darcy refused. The two of them had another argument, which Howard lost, and Darcy built her first weapon, which soon became one of many. By 1942, one in four servicemen in the United States Army was using a weapon that Darcy had designed. She had begged to help when the SSR approached Howard in 1940, but Howard refused on the ground that Darcy was only eighteen. When the United States officially joined the war in 1941, Howard finally gave in and let his nineteen year old sister join him in his work with the SSR. By 1943, she was even given her own individual projects and contracts.

The big project, though, was Project Rebirth which, despite Howard's childish insistence that it should be called 'The Brooklyn Project' to spite Oppenheimer, who was working on the Manhattan Project and who Howard claimed owed him twenty bucks, was the name that stuck. Project Rebirth was the biggest chance the Allied Forces had at winning the war, and Darcy Lewis was a part of it.

She enjoyed working with Dr Erskine and the SSR, at least most of the ones she had met so far. Dr Erskine and Colonel Phillips didn't talk down to her because she was a woman. Maybe this had a little something to do with the fact that they were both well acquainted with Agent Peggy Carter who, frankly, impressed the hell out of Darcy. The woman had spent several years undercover with the Red Skull, himself, and not only got out alive, but managed to rescue Dr Erskine as well. And there was also the fact that she was a genuinely lovely person. To Darcy, Agent Carter was the woman she wished she could be. She was so graceful and poised, yet very sharp and deadly at the same time. She was the perfect example of why you should never underestimate a woman, which, thankfully, Colonel Phillips and Dr Erskine did not.

Darcy sighed as she moved to the next exhibit, looking over the crowds that were starting to form. She frowned as she spotted a familiar face and walked over.

"Dr Erskine?" she called, as she got closer. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, Miss Lewis," he smiled, turning away from the exhibit he had been viewing to face her. "I thought that Mr. Stark would be keeping you busy."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "It was either get away from him or tell the army that I killed their top weapons contractor," she told him. "I took the option that wouldn't see me hanged for treason."

Erskine laughed. She enjoyed seeing him laugh; it wasn't something that happened very often. The German scientist had had a tough few years. Johann Schmidt – the Red Skull – had held him captive for over five years, forcing him to work on the super-soldier serum that he had theoretically presented in papers before the stirrings of war. Schmidt kept him obedient by using his wife and child as leverage, not telling him that they had died in a camp two years after they were all captured.

"Well, I am glad to see that you have better sense of self-preservation than most people, Miss Lewis," Erskine commented.

Darcy shrugged. "You've got to learn to pick your fights with Howard. That's something I learned by the time I was ten years old. If I hadn't learned that, we'd fight about twice as often as we do now; if not more." She carefully stepped to the side as people tried to see the exhibit she was blocking. "Anyway," she continued. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be at the base."

Erskine indicated the Army Recruitment Center across the street. "I like to visit the centers, see if there are any likely candidates. I still have not found a suitable one for the project and Colonel Phillips is starting to get rather annoyed."

Darcy nodded. "Okay. You think you'll have one soon?"

Erskine shrugged helplessly. "Colonel Phillips has threatened that if I do not pick soon that the choice will no longer be mine."

"You think he'll do it?" she asked, worried.

Erskine shook his head. "No. He cannot. The formula is all up here, you see." He tapped his head. "I have never written it down, in case it falls into the wrong hands. So he cannot give the serum to anybody if I do not approve it. But I do know that he is a powerful man. He could make life very difficult for me. So I shall try my best to find somebody, which is why I go around the recruitment centers; maybe the right man just hasn't signed up yet?"

Darcy nodded, understanding. "Okay. I'll let you get back to that, then," she told him. "Best not to keep Colonel Phillips waiting too long."

Erskine chuckled, tipping the brim of his hat. "Good night, Miss Lewis," he said.

"Good night, Dr Erskine," she replied with a smile.

She watched him cross the street before turning around, figuring she'd better make sure that Howard was ready for his presentation. Unfortunately, at that moment, someone was just coming around the exhibit and hadn't seen her, just as she hadn't seen them. The two of them collided and, as she had not worked up much momentum, the force knocked her backwards. She grabbed a hold of the other person, hoping that they would keep her upright, but they didn't weigh very much so this just brought them down on top of her.

"Oof!" All the air was forced out of Darcy's lungs as she hit the floor and the other person landed on top of her.

The man – it was definitely a man, she noticed – scrambled to pick himself up, elbowing her in the ribs in the process, which caused her to let out a small yelp.

"I am so sorry, ma'am," the man apologized as he managed to get up. "Let me help you!" He held out his hand and she took it. "I'm really sorry," he said again as she got to her feet with his help.

He was small and thin, with blonde hair, and Darcy would have put him a few years older than her, closer to Howard's age. He looked like a stiff breeze would knock him over, but he had a very pretty face, which was an odd thing to think about a man, but she couldn't think of another way to describe it. His eyes looked kind, but with an edge, as if he had seen some hard times, which, Darcy supposed, he probably had. People their age had grown up during the Depression. Times were hard, and it was the kids that had suffered.

She shook her head, dusting herself off. Luckily, this wasn't a very busy part of the exhibition, so they hadn't attracted too much of a crowd. "It's fine," she assured him. "Was just as much my fault as yours. Besides, there was no harm done. I'm fine, you're fine…" she eyed him. "You  _are_  okay, right?"

He looked startled. "Me? Yeah, I'm swell."

"Good. The way my day's going, I very well could have killed you, or something. That would have just been the ideal ending to my day," she said, dryly.

The man laughed. "That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea," she told him. "The only way my day could get any worse at this point is if somebody died. I just thought that by getting out here, I was reducing the chance of killing somebody."

He raised an eyebrow. "You close to killing someone before?" he asked.

"Trust me, the army would be short one weapons contractor if I hadn't taken a walk," Darcy admitted.

The man seemed to put the facts together. "You know Howard Stark?" he asked.

Darcy nodded. "Unfortunately, I work with him. He's good, but occasionally I get the overwhelming urge to do some damage and find myself in need of taking a long walk and some deep breaths."

The man laughed. He had a nice laugh. It was sort of bashful, as if he wasn't entirely sure it was okay to be laughing; it was kind of cute.

"I'm Darcy, by the way," she told him, holding her hand out. "Darcy Lewis."

He took her hand and shook it without even thinking twice, which Darcy appreciated. She disliked it when men refused a handshake, instead kissing her hand as if she were a blushing flower. "Steve Rogers," he returned.

"So, Steve," Darcy grinned. "How are you enjoying the exhibition so far?"

"It's good," he commented. "I was just going to grab my date some peanuts."

Ah, a date. There was always a catch. She always had to be drawn to unavailable men.

"Oh?" she replied, in what she hoped was a casual tone. "You rationed, then?"

Steve went pink and dropped his gaze as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Nah," he admits. "She's just a friend of my best friend's girl. He didn't want me to be third wheel. But it's not working out too well. These double dates never do… or any date I go on, for that matter."

Darcy frowned. "How come?" She was genuinely interested. Steve seemed like a good guy.

"I just can't really talk to women," Steve confessed. "I always say the wrong thing or, sometimes, I can't even talk at all. It gets embarrassing."

"You've been talking to me," Darcy pointed out.

Steve frowned, and then tilted his head, as if realizing for the first time that he was indeed carrying on an actual conversation with a living woman… and it was going well.

"Huh." He looked confused. "So I am. I assure you this doesn't happen often."

Darcy laughed and went to reply when she heard someone calling her name. She looked around and saw Lauren, one of the liaisons for the exhibition, rushing towards me.

"Oh thank God," Lauren cried as she came to a stop in front of Darcy. "Oh, Miss Lewis, we can't find Mr. Stark anywhere, and he's due to go on in fifteen minutes!"

Darcy sighed. "Is there any female member of staff that is also nowhere to be found?" she asked.

"Why, yes… Oh."

Darcy nodded, a little exasperatedly, before turning back to Steve. "It was lovely to meet you, Steve," she told him, honestly. "But I have to go round up my boss. Hopefully, I'll see you around?"

"Hopefully," he repeats.

She walked away but, after about thirty seconds, gave into the urge and looked behind her. Sure enough, Steve was still watching her. Having been caught looking, his face went even more red than he had been before and he turned, walking off in the opposite direction. Darcy chuckled to herself.

* * *

It didn't take Darcy too long to find Howard; she knew him well. She just walked straight in to the dressing room that he was using, averting her eyes so she didn't see anything she  _really_  didn't want to see, and cleared her throat.

The woman shrieked. There was a short scuffle and the sound of clothes being pulled on. Less than a minute after Darcy had walked in, a blonde woman skirted past her, purposefully not meeting her gaze and clutching her shoes as she exited the room.

Darcy chanced a glance at Howard, who was sitting on a chair lacing up his shoes. He scowled up at her.

"Thanks, Darce," he grumbled. "We were just getting to the good part."

"I'd apologize, but we both know I'd be lying," Darcy told him. "Fix your face. You go on in less than ten minutes and that lipstick ain't your shade."

She walked out of the room briskly. She wished she could say that this was the first time she'd had to do something like that. Women were probably Howard's biggest weakness; he just couldn't say no to a pretty dame. He didn't like to admit the fact that he couldn't have one either. Darcy had dealt with one or two angry husbands in the last few years, knowing that, as angry as they were at Howard for sleeping with their wife or girlfriend, they were unlikely to hit a woman. Even if they were, Darcy could handle herself.

That had been Howard's major sticking point in Darcy joining him with the SSR. Darcy would have to learn how to defend herself. It made sense, so she did it. Jarvis taught her some basic self defense, having been in the British Army before coming to work for them. She also learnt how to handle a gun, which gave her a much greater understanding of them, helping immensely when it came to designing the things.

Howard followed her out of the room less than a minute later, looking as presentable as he could be, under the circumstances. He smiled at Darcy as if nothing had happened.

"We ready, kid?" he asked.

"We're ready," Darcy agreed. "Get on out there."

Howard's presentation wasn't too long, thank God, but Darcy got bored anyway. She was itching to get her hands on something, create something. There were so many ideas just floating around in her head and while she was standing backstage at a tech exhibition with absolutely nothing to even write on, she felt about ready to burst.

"Can we get out of here now?" she asked Howard as soon as he came off of the stage. "I want to get to my lab."

Howard squeezed her shoulder. "I got invited to a party, so I'm gonna go. But there's a phone in the hallway. I can call Jarvis to come pick you up?" he offered.

Darcy scowled and wrenched herself free from his light grip.

"Don't bother," she huffed, turning around and walking away.

"How are you going to get home?" he pushed, a worried tone in his voice. Howard may be a dick sometimes, but he cared about her; wanted her to be safe, so she answered him.

"Dr Erskine's across the street, at the recruitment center," she told him, turning back around, but still moving backwards slowly away from him. "I'll see if I can catch a ride home with him. If not, I'll call Jarvis, myself. Okay?"

Howard nodded. "Stay safe, kid." It was his usual goodbye to her, and she replied with her usual comment.

"Just as safe as you."

The crowds were starting to disperse slightly after Howard's demonstration. Obviously, a large number of the people who showed up had only showed up because Howard Stark was supposed to be there. It shocked her, sometimes, how popular her brother was with the general public. She didn't know what it was about him that appealed to everyone. But, she supposed, as his sister, she saw the sides of him that the public didn't see. They saw the charming, suave, business savvy gentlemen. She saw the idiot who once claimed to have invented a portable back massager, only to put one of his employees in the hospital when the thing caused his muscles to tense so extremely that his ulna and radius both just snapped. Thank God he'd used it on his arm first, instead of his back.

She made it over to the recruitment center in next to no time. She couldn't see the doctor at first, so she asked the woman at the front desk if she knew where he was. She pointed out a hallway where the exam rooms were, and Darcy followed her directions.

She spotted Dr Erskine coming through a set of curtains at the bottom of the hallway. He looked up and spotted her, too, coming up towards her.

"Miss Lewis!" He sounded excited, something that she couldn't say that she had ever heard from him. "Miss Lewis," he repeated, as he came to a stop in front of her. "I have found him!"

Darcy furrowed her eyebrows. "Found him?" she asked, confused. "Found who? What are you talking about?"

"I have found the subject for Project Rebirth!" he announced. "He starts his basic training tomorrow. Please tell Mr. Stark that in eight weeks… the end of the war will be in sight!"


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy panics. Steve gets taller. Peggy remains cool.

The next eight weeks were the longest of Darcy's life. There was a lot of rushing around, making sure that everything would be ready when the time came, and you would think that keeping busy would have made the time go much faster, but it didn't. Every second seemed to stretch for an eternity as Darcy and Howard worked on the equipment that would either make or break the future of the allied war effort.

Howard and Darcy had made all of the equipment together but, as they usually did with something so important, they checked over each others' work at regular intervals, knowing very well that a fresh set of eyes to spot any problems the other may have missed could be the difference between an amazing success or a spectacular failure… and they could not afford a failure.

Dr Erskine wasn't around as much as he had been before, instead overseeing the subject during his basic training, but Darcy did her best to try to keep him and Colonel Phillips as up to date as possible; something that Howard would never have thought of.

She hadn't looked at the file.

It had lain on her desk since Howard had skimmed through it and handed it over, but she just couldn't bring herself to look, and she had forbidden Howard to speak about it. In Darcy's eyes, putting a name, a face, an  _identity_ , to the subject would just make everything more  _real._  She knew, realistically, that if this all succeeded and everything went to plan, then they would be about a hundred steps closer to winning the war. But if it failed…

Darcy liked experimenting with machines and gadgets. If something went wrong, the worst that could happen was that she had to throw it all away and start again. But this was a person. People weren't machines; you couldn't just scrap it and start over when there was a real life person hanging in the balance. Someone's  _life_ was going to depend on her work and the knowledge was slowly eating her alive.

Her mind was running the worst case scenarios over and over, and she knew that if she added a name, a face, to that, it would only add to her nightmares and her sleepless nights.

She knew that it was getting to Howard, as well. He started spending less and less time at home once work was done for the day, claiming that he needed to get out. Darcy was sure that there was far less getting  _out_  and far more getting  _in_ to girls' underwear involved, but she wouldn't call him out on it. It was Howard's way of coping with stress and she wasn't going to try to take it away from him at this point.

Darcy didn't want to be alone after Howard had left for the night, but she didn't have many friends, having spent most of her formative years with Howard or in her lab. Ana and Jarvis invited her to dinner most nights, which she gratefully accepted. To Darcy, Ana and Jarvis were more than employees. In the short time that they had been a part of her life, Darcy had come to consider them family. She didn't know how she would have gotten through the last eight weeks without their support, even if she couldn't tell them anything about what she and Howard were doing.

It was the night before the climax of Project Rebirth and Darcy couldn't sleep. She had spent many nights in the last few weeks the same way, tossing and turning, willing her mind to just switch off and give her some rest. Some nights she eventually wound down enough to sleep, but she knew that tonight she wouldn't be so lucky. So, after two hours had gone by and she was still wide awake, staring at the ceiling, she admitted defeat and threw the covers off.

She pulled on her slippers and robe before going over to the mirror and quickly checking that none of the pins in her hair had fallen out while she was tossing and turning. She would already be tired and worried tomorrow; there was no reason to add messy hair to that mix as well. Once she was satisfied that everything was in place, she walked downstairs.

She was not in the least surprised that Howard was sat on the couch nursing a glass of scotch. He looked up as she entered, knocked back the rest of his drink and held out the empty glass as she walked by, knowing where she was headed. Darcy opened the liquor cabinet, poured herself and Howard two fingers of scotch and handed Howard's glass back to him as she walked by to sit at the side of him.

Neither of them said anything for several minutes, both just enjoying their drinks in companionable silence.

"Big day tomorrow," Howard said, breaking the silence unexpectedly. He was staring straight ahead.

Darcy nodded, knocking back the rest of her drink in one go. "Yeah," she breathed, looking at the bottom of her glass as if it held the answers to all the questions she could think of.

"You nervous?" he asked.

She looked at him. "What kind of question is that?" she asked. "Of course I'm nervous. You think if I was all fine and dandy I would be sitting here drinking scotch with you at two in the morning?"

Howard snorted before draining the rest of his glass. "You could just like my company," he pointed out.

Darcy rolled her eyes and passed him her glass as he got to his feet. "Trust me, Howard; the only company I ever want at two in the morning is that of my bed."

"You know," Howard commented as he brought her back her glass, half full of scotch – he was a little more generous than she was with spirits – and retook his seat on the couch. "That's kinda sad. Ain't you ever found anyone you wanted to keep you company at night?"

Darcy narrowed her eyes at her older brother. "Howard, are we sure that  _now_  is the best time to be discussing my love life, or lack thereof? We really have better things to-"

"I just worry about you, kid," Howard interrupted. "You know I do. I mean, I ain't telling you to go out there and be loose, or anything, but haven't you ever wanted someone you could… that could make you happy?"

Darcy sighed and twisted herself around to face Howard, slipping her feet out of her slippers and tucking her feet under Howard's thigh instead to keep them warm.

"Is that what you're looking for?" she asked, softly. "You trying to find someone to make you happy?"

Howard shrugs. "I dunno, Darce. It feels good, and I just can't help myself, you know? Besides, we're talking about you," he said pointedly, trying to revert the subject.

Darcy rolls her eyes. "Well, I tried the whole casual thing. Wasn't for me. I don't want someone who's gonna thank me for a good time, get dressed, and leave. I'm not like you, Howard. I want it to mean something."

Howard nodded, before her words sank in properly and he snapped his head around, fixing her with his gaze. "What do you mean you 'tried the whole casual thing'? Who touched you? I'll kill them."

Darcy raised an eyebrow, not perturbed in the slightest by Howard's demeanor. "You are the last one to talk, Howard Stark. You are not allowed to lecture me about sex. That is something that just ain't happening. Besides, weren't you only just now telling me I should find someone to sleep with?"

"I am your older brother!" he announced, affronted. "I have every right-"

"Until you stop cadding about town with a different girl every night, you have no right to lecture me if I decide to do the same with men!" Darcy bit back. "I know that, out there, there are different rules for women and for men, but I will not have you throwing them in my face in this house, Howard, you know I won't stand for it!"

It was a long running argument that stemmed from their father and Howard's mother trying to instill some traditional values in her. Helen Lewis's mother had been active in the Suffragette movement while Helen was growing up, and Helen chose to bring up Darcy with the same values that she had been taught by her mother, views that weren't very popular, even now. When Darcy had moved in with Howard, she got him to agree that all of the judgment she received for her views would not happen at home. She would be allowed to live her life the way that she chose, and she would not be forced to adhere to traditionalist values in her own home. She was a realist, so she knew that, to get by in life, she needed to keep up appearances as a lady in public, but she disliked it. The least she could do is be herself in her own home.

Howard sighed, but bit his tongue over whatever he might've said next. Darcy appreciated it. They both took a drink.

"I love you," Howard murmured, over his glass of scotch, not even looking at her. "You know that, right? No matter what happens tomorrow, we'll get through it, right?"

Darcy looked at Howard's tense frame and rearranged herself on the couch so that she could lean against him slightly, putting her head on his shoulder. "Right," she whispered back.

That's how Jarvis found them the next morning, empty scotch glasses still in hand, fast asleep.

* * *

When Agent Carter arrived with the subject, she just wouldn't look at him until she absolutely had to, Darcy decided. It was as good a plan as any, in her mind, and it may just be what she needed to stay sane.

Darcy was aware that she looked out of place; the only woman in the building that wasn't an Army Nurse. She stood out, as well, wearing high-waisted brown pants and a cream silk blouse. To keep her mind occupied, she double and then triple checked the outputs for the machines. She was so nervous that at one point, she even grabber a rag and made sure that the entire thing was clean, just to have something to do with her hands. Howard got so annoyed with her running around while he was talking to one of the nurses that he actually snapped at her to just sit down and calm the hell down, at one point.

Deciding that sitting down and doing nothing wouldn't help her in the slightest, she walked over to Dr Erskine, who had come into the room when she hadn't been looking.

"Miss Lewis!" Erskine smiled at her as he saw her approach. "How are you?"

Darcy shrugged. "That's a loaded question, doc. Nervous as hell may be the closest to putting into words. How about you?"

"That… about sums it up," he agreed. "Are you… prepared? To meet him, I mean?" Erskine had understood her reasoning for not wanting to know who the subject was, but time was running out, he would be here at any moment and Darcy had to be ready for that; whether she wanted to or not.

"Trust me," she said grimly. "If I could get through this entire thing without having to be in the room at all, I would."

"You do not have to…" Erskine started, trailing off when Darcy started shaking her head.

"No, doc," she said. "It's fine. I need to be here. I'll get over this. I'll have to. I have to see this through."

Erskine nodded. "I understand."

The entire room went silent. Darcy was facing the opposite way to the entry, but she still closed her eyes. She wasn't ready.

She could hear the sound of people coming down the metal stairs and the room started moving again. Erskine brushed her arm, reassuringly, before he made his way towards the new arrivals.

Darcy took a deep breath. It was now or never.

She turned around and took in the man standing next to Agent Carter. It was not what she expected, in the slightest. Her first thought, as she took in his stature, was doubt that that small body would be able to take the strain that the procedure would put it under. Her second thought, as her eyes were drawn up to his face, was  _Steve._

" _Steve?!"_ She couldn't have stopped the word from escaping if she had tried. In the last eight weeks, even with all of the stress she had been under, and the immense amount of work she had been doing, she had not forgotten the slight man that she had been talking to the night of the exhibition. Even if she had never seen him again, she doubted that she ever would have been able to forget him. He had left an impression on her; the man who couldn't talk to women, but somehow had carried on a pleasant conversation with her.

"Miss Lewis?" He sounded as shocked as Darcy had. He clearly hadn't expected her to be there, either; his eyebrows had nearly disappeared under his uniform cap.

The situation had just gotten a million times worse for Darcy. It was bad enough that she had a face, a name, to put to the subject. But the subject was Steve Rogers, the man who had made her laugh, had been the highlight of her entire night when she hadn't thought that it would ever improve.

"You know each other?" Erskine asked, perplexed.

Steve nodded. "Uh, yeah. Actually the same night…" he trailed off, uncomfortably fidgeting with the cuffs of his shirt.

"Yeah," Darcy said, trying to sound as lighthearted as she could. "He knocked me over and I decided I wasn't going down alone and managed to take him with me." She grinned at him, hoping none of the sick feeling in her gut was showing. This had to be bad enough for Steve; he had to be nervous enough about this. He didn't need to know that one of the chief engineers on the project was so scared she wanted to puke her guts up.

Agent Carter was more perceptive than Darcy thought. Either that, or Darcy wasn't hiding her feelings very well.

"Miss Lewis, could I have a moment?" she asked me, eyes piercing me shrewdly.

I nodded stiffly.

"Is everything okay?" Erskine asked, looking slightly worried.

"Absolutely fine gentlemen, not to worry," Agent Carter said, briskly. "Why don't you get Private Rogers situated, Doctor? Miss Lewis and I will be back momentarily."

Darcy tried to smile reassuringly at Steve, who didn't look all that assured. "Don't worry. They can't start without me."

Darcy followed Agent Carter to the side of the room, where they wouldn't be overheard. When Agent Carter span around and looked at Darcy as if she knew every little secret that she had ever tried to hide, she broke.

"I don't know if I can do this," she whispered. She ran a hand through her hair, not caring that she was probably unsettling her hair from its various pins that kept it back from her face. "Oh, I'm being so stupid. I mean, I only met the guy  _once_ , for five minutes. But he was so nice and he made me laugh and… I knew it would be hard, putting a face to the subject… But it's  _Steve's_  face. I met the guy for five minutes but I've had his face in my head for  _weeks_  and now it's here…  _he's_  here, I mean…" Darcy felt one short step from hyperventilating and probably would have gone there if Agent Carter hadn't grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Miss Lewis, look at me," she ordered, calmly. Darcy didn't even think about not obeying her, her head just swiveled up from where she had been watching her fingers pull at her cuffs. Agent Carter's gaze was firm, but with an edge of kindness. "I've spent some time with Private Rogers in the last few weeks, and trust me when I tell you that  _he_   _wants this._  He wants to do his part to help; doesn't want to be sitting around, gazing at his 4F stamp while other men fight in his place. You and I, we already know what it's like to be at a disadvantage because of how you were born. We had to fight to be a part of all of this because we're women. Rogers had to fight to be a part of all of this because he has asthma and anemia and… a lot of other things that I actually can't remember right now."

They both shared a slight chuckle at that.

"It's just…" Darcy trailed off, looking over to where Erskine was instructing Steve to remove his shirt. "It's silly but… It's the first time in a long time that I ever felt anything for a guy, you know?"

Agent Carter's eyebrows shot up. "Private Rogers led me to believe that he can't really talk to women. He certainly has difficulties speaking to me."

Darcy nodded, smiling as she watched Steve struggle with his shirt sleeves. "Yeah, he told me that, too. But, for some reason, it didn't seem to matter. We were talking for a good few minutes before he realized that he was talking to me just fine."

"Well," Agent Carter surmised. "He must have seen something special in you."

"I guess." Darcy bit her lip. "What if this goes wrong, Agent Carter? What if this goes wrong and it's my fault because I didn't do something right? Or didn't think of something? I didn't think I'd manage before, but if Steve got hurt and it was my fault… I think I'd die."

"Okay, first," Agent Carter replied, squeezing her arm, trying to offer some comfort. "I think you can call me Peggy. And secondly, if anything goes wrong here, it will not be solely put upon your shoulders. Steve has chosen to be here, just like we all have. He accepts the consequences, whatever they may be. I won't lie and say that it will all be okay, because I don't know that, and I don't think that you would appreciate it. But the only thing that we all can do is get out there and do our jobs to the best of our ability. You are an engineer, Darcy Lewis. You create things that help people. And right now, we need you to focus and do your job. Help people. Help Steve become the best that he can be. Okay?"

Darcy took a deep few breaths.

"You ladies done, over there?" Colonel Phillips barked in their direction.

Peggy looked at Darcy for the answer. She took a few deep breaths before nodding.

"Yes, Colonel," Peggy called, leading Darcy back over to where Steve was now lying down, shirtless and barefoot, in the open chamber.

Erskine shot Darcy a look, and she nodded, breathing out, feeling moderately calmer than before. He seemed to accept this.

"Mr. Stark?" he called over his shoulder. "How are your levels?"

"Levels at one hundred percent," Howard stated, walking over to them. He bumped Darcy softly as he stopped next to her. "How you doing, kid?"

She nodded, and started the process of checking the equipment attached to the chamber Steve was in, keeping herself busy, doing her job.

"Well, we may dim half the lights in Brooklyn," Howard continued to Erskine, looking over Steve, eyes following Darcy's progress. "But we are ready… as we'll ever be." His tone turned into something slightly unsure, imperceptible to those who didn't know him well. But Darcy did. He could put up a good front of confidence, but Howard was about as nervous as Darcy was. All the work they had put in, and this was the final hurdle.

"Agent Carter?" Erskine addressed her. "Don't you think you would feel more comfortable in the booth?"

Peggy looked over to Steve and then to Darcy, who gave her a small smile. Peggy nodded. "Yes, of course," she said, before doing just that.

Darcy looked at Steve for the first time since Peggy had intercepted her for a chat. "How you feeling, soldier?" she asked.

He shrugged, as much as he could in his position, and she could see the bones in his shoulder move as he did so. "Kinda like it felt when you pulled me down at the expo. That terrified sensation that I'm falling, but constantly instead of just for a minute."

Darcy nodded. "Honest answer. Wasn't really expecting that."

He shrugged again. "Eh, what have I got to lose at this point?" he joked. Darcy flinched slightly, which he must have caught because he caught her wrist. "What's wrong?"

She looked into his eyes and knew she couldn't just pass this off; couldn't lie to him. She breathed out. "This is big, Steve. It's huge and if this goes wrong, if the equipment fails? That's a 50:50 chance it's on me. That's terrifying."

He looked at the machines around the room. "You helped build all this?" he asked, wondrously.

Darcy smiled at his tone. "Told ya I worked with Howard Stark, didn't I? I'm not just a pretty face, you know."

They were interrupted by a loud few taps, and they looked over to see that Erskine had gotten a microphone and was getting ready to address the audience if Army and government officials in the booth.

"Can you hear me?" he spoke into it. "Is this on?"

Darcy gave Steve a small smile and stepped back.

"That's my cue. Gotta go pay my machines some attention now," she said.

"Lucky machines," Steve murmured. It was low enough that he probably hadn't intended her to hear it, but she did, blushing as she stepped down from the equipment.

She walked over to where Howard was adjusting the machines. He was giving her a look, although she refused to look directly at him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Erskine's voice washed over the room. "Today we take not the first step to annihilation, but the first step on the way to peace. We begin with a series of micro-injections into the subject's major muscle groups." The nurses set up the serum in the appropriate places as he spoke. "The serum," he continued. "Will cause immediate cellular change. And then, to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with vita-rays."

Erskine put down the microphone and walked over to Steve as the penicillin was injected. The spoke for a few seconds, too low for Darcy to make out.

"The serum infusion," Erskine called out. "Beginning in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"

Darcy took a deep breath and pushed up the lever that would begin the infusion and watched with bated breath as the serum drained from the tubes and into Steve's small body.

Erskine looked over at Howard, who had his hand on the lever that would begin the next stage.

"Now, Mr. Stark."

Howard pushed up the lever and the entire frame that Steve was laid upon moved so that he was vertical and the sides came over to shut him into the chamber so that they could no longer see him. Technicians attached pipes from the chamber to the Erskine walked up to the chamber and tapped on the glass.

"Steven? Can you hear me?" He peered into the glass front of the chamber, trying to look down into it, but Steve was a little short to be seen in the glass. He must have answered because Erskine turned around, looked to Howard and Darcy and said, "He's good. We will proceed."

Howard and Darcy put their safety goggles on and started to work, pushing buttons, turning dials and activating levers. Darcy's heart was in her throat the entire time, but Peggy's words just kept coming back to her. She had to do her job.

After everything was activated, Howard manned the wheel that increased the intensity of the vita-rays while Darcy monitored the levels and kept an eye on Steve's vital signs.

"That's ten percent… twenty… thirty…" Howard called over to her.

"Vital signs are normal," she called back, surprised at how steady her voice was. Howard nodded and continued to increase the intensity, calling out the percentages as he went. The light coming from the chamber was blinding, and Darcy couldn't look directly at it; Erskine even shielded his eyes.

When Howard reached seventy percent, Steve's pained screams filled the room. Darcy looked at his vital signs, which were slightly elevated.

"Steve!" Darcy yelled, wanting to run over to check whether he was okay. Erskine beat her to it, running up to the chamber and shouting as loud as he could, hoping Steve would be able to hear him.

"Steven! Steven!"

"Shut it down!" Darcy yelled at Howard, realizing that Peggy had run out of the booth and had yelled the exact same thing.

Erskine banged on the chamber and yelled Steve's name once more, but the pained sounds continued. He ran down from the platform and yelled. "Mr. Stark! Miss Lewis! Shut down the reactor! Kill it!"

Howard and Darcy raced around, going to do just that, not even thinking for the slightest moment about arguing, when Steve's voice, still sounding wrecked from the pain, shouted from the chamber.

"No! Don't! I can do this!"

Darcy, Howard, and Erskine all froze. Howard exchanged a short glance with Erskine, nodded at Darcy, and went straight back to the wheel. Darcy felt a tear escape, but she ignored it. She had a job to do.

"Eighty! Ninety!" Howard called. "That's one hundred percent!"

One hundred percent lasted about five seconds before the whole thing overloaded. Sparks started to fly from different parts of the machinery and Darcy had to quickly step back, watching Howard do exactly the same thing. Some of the machines shorted out, but the lights stayed on, so at least they hadn't shorted out the whole city. The sounds from the chamber whirred to a stop and Steve wasn't making any sort of sound anymore.

"Mr. Stark!" Erskine shouted, an edge to his voice.

Darcy walked over to Erskine on wobbly legs as Howard opened the chamber; thankfully that part hadn't shorted out. She hardly dared to breathe as the chamber opened, but all the breath in her body left in one fast  _whoosh_ as Steve was revealed.

Steve Rogers had gone into the chamber as a skinny 5'4 man who looked like he would snap if he was hugged with too much force. He came out 6'2 with abs you could bounce a nickel off. He was glistening with sweat and breathing hard, which also proved what else the procedure had done for him. Before, every breath Steve took rattled slightly. Now, he was breathing smoothly, with little effort at all.

Erskine and Darcy ran over to the chamber, each grabbing an arm to help him down.

"Steven?" Erskine prompted. Steve tilted his head over to the man, nodding slightly, too worn out to speak for the moment.

"We did it," Darcy breathed out, not taking her eyes off of Steve's face; the same pretty face that had gone into that chamber. Howard came over and raked his eyes over the man. He turned to Darcy in total shock.

"It actually worked," Howard said, in wonder. Darcy made sure that Steve could stand for himself before letting go and clutching her brother in a celebratory hug.

"It worked! He's okay!" Darcy mumbled into his shoulder.

Peggy had rushed over by that point, pushing her way through the throng of people. She gave Darcy a small smile before turning to Steve.

"How do you feel?" she asked him.

Steve took a few deep breaths, still leaning slightly on Erskine. "Taller," he said, eventually.

Darcy pulled herself out of Howard's embrace. "Well, you definitely look taller," she told him.

People were crowding Erskine, trying to congratulate him, so he extricated himself from Steve and started to shake hands. Darcy noticed a nurse holding a shirt for Steve, but was too busy staring to attempt to give it to him. She rolled her eyes and grabbed it from her, handing it to Steve.

"Here you go," she told him. "You're making the women's brains melt. Put it away."

Steve laughed as he took the shirt and pulled it on. "Not yours though?" he grinned.

"Oh, my brain was a lost cause a while ago," Darcy replied, unable to stop smiling. "I run on coffee and engine fumes, now."

Steve started to laugh again just as an explosion went off. Steve instinctively twisted himself, protecting Darcy from the glass that blew over the crowd below the booth. One of the men – a government official, Darcy had thought – ran past them to grab the last vial of the serum.

"Stop him!" Erskine shouted.

The man turned around, with a gun in hand, and shot Erskine twice in the chest before anyone could even react. He spun around and sprinted up the stairs. Peggy was the first to regain any sense and took a few shots at the man as he tried to escape. When she only managed to land a shot to his shoulder, which didn't slow him down, she ran after him.

Steve was by Erskine's side before Darcy could do as much as blink. She followed him, getting there just as Erskine took his last breath. Steve's face set as he looked up to the exit, where the man had escaped, Peggy hot on his heels.

"Go, Steve," Darcy prompted. He turned to look at her. "Go. I'll… I'll stay with him."

He nodded and was out of the room before anyone could think to stop him.

* * *

Steve had come back with several SSR agents, sans serum or spy. The serum vial had smashed and the spy had taken a cyanide pill.

It was the next morning. She had seen Steve being taken into one of the examination rooms to have some blood drawn approximately a half hour before. Darcy sat on the railing, feet dangling over the edge, looking at the carnage.

Everything had gone to plan. It was all okay. And then…

Darcy hadn't been prepared for something like this. She had been prepared for mechanical failure, for the serum to not take, for it to create another Red Skull, maybe. But not this. Her eyes travelled to the spot Dr Erskine had laid as his life slipped away. The blood was still there, small pools of red that contrasted against the light grey stone floor.

All Erskine had wanted was to end this war, to fix what he had created when Johann Schmidt had made Erskine give him the serum. He had been one of the very few men Darcy had ever met that had respected her for her talents, and just being who she was.

And now he was gone.

Darcy wasn't sure how long she had sat there, just staring down at everything below, when she felt someone sit beside her. She turned her head and saw it was Howard.

"Hey kid," he said, tiredly.

"Hey," she murmured. "Any luck?"

Howard had been looking at the submarine that the spy had tried to escape in all morning. He had asked Darcy if she wanted to join him, but she just hadn't been in the right frame of mind.

Howard shook his head. "It's way beyond anything I've ever seen before. This HYDRA, Darce. They're way ahead of anything that I've seen; anything that I could even imagine we could be capable of. I don't see how we stand a chance."

Darcy shook her head. "Don't say that." Howard looked at her. "We do our job. That's all we can do. And our jobs are to be the best goddamn mechanical engineers in the country, Howard Stark. We will go out there and we will do our goddamn jobs because people will die if we don't. We can't entertain doubts for just one second because the moment we do, it will start to take over us. Our jobs are to win this war, and by God, that's what we're going to do." Her eyes were shining by the end of her speech and she looked so determined that Howard just looked at her for a few moments.

"I'm glad you feel that way, kid," he said. "Because we're off to London in the morning."

"We are?" Darcy asked, startled.

Howard nodded. "It's time we went and won ourselves a war."


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy gets annoyed. Steve breaks into show business. Phillips gets an earful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that I am indeed reading all your lovely comments and I am so grateful for them! I'm not replying right now cos AO3 adds the reply to the comment count and I don't want to pad out the comments with all my replies and make it look like I've got twice as many comments right now. So if you have commented, I have not forgotten you! I love you all!!

 

Darcy was surprised when she and Howard got to London, to find out that Steve was not there.

"What?" She looked at Colonel Phillips like he was crazy. "All that work, Dr Erskine's  _life_ , and you don't think he's important enough to bring?"

Phillips took a few breaths before answering, as he often did when speaking to Darcy. "Miss Lewis, I asked for an army. I got one man. One man is not enough. We did the science experiment and it failed. Now, it's time to do actual work."

"Actual work?" Darcy was steaming, she was so mad. "You don't think that what we did was actual work. Me, Howard, Erskine? We worked our asses off to make this work. Steve Rogers put his life on the line-"

"And I am very grateful to all of you," Phillips interrupted, moving papers around on his desk. "But Steve Rogers was not what I asked for. If you can show up tomorrow with a few hundred of him, maybe I'd be happy. But that's not gonna happen."

Darcy was so angry she was vibrating, she couldn't even speak. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. She took a few deep breaths, turning to the SSR agent who had shown her to Colonel Phillips in the first place. "Take me to my lab," she said, shortly. "I have the overwhelming need to take something apart."

Darcy threw herself into her work for the next week. At times, Howard had to drag her out of the lab to eat; something that she had done for him a time or two when they had been growing up. Part way into her second week in London, she was underneath the body of a tank when she heard someone enter her lab.

"Not now, Howard," she said, irritably. "I'm busy. But if you're there, you could hand me a socket wrench."

A wrench got placed into her hand.

"I'm not Howard, so I hope that's the right wrench."

The soft lilt of a British accent wasn't what Darcy had been expecting. She banged her head as she tried to extricate herself from the machinery.

"Peggy?" She hadn't seen the agent since she had gotten to London, hadn't even been aware that she had been there at all. Then again, Darcy had barely left the lab, so she supposed that she hadn't seen a lot of people.

"I heard you were keeping yourself busy," Peggy commented, looking around at all the half finished projects around the room. "Howard's worried about you."

"Yeah, well," Darcy shrugged, grabbing a rag to wipe the motor oil off of her hands. "He shouldn't worry so much. There ain't nothing wrong with me."

"I also heard that you chewed out Colonel Phillips," Peggy continued.

Darcy shrugged, starting to put all the tools that she had been using into their appropriate places. She always kept a neat lab.

"And I know that you've been sleeping in here, if you've been sleeping at all."

Darcy got defensive at that. "That's not true-"

"Yes it is." Peggy just stared her down. "I know it's true because you're supposed to be bunking with me." Darcy's shoulders dropped, as did her head, staring at the floor.

Peggy sighed. "I know it's been difficult..."

Darcy snorted, derisively. "It's not… I'm not… I'm not like you, Peggy. I'm just an engineer. I don't do well with feelings and crap like that. I do machines. But Erskine is gone and Steve just got tossed aside like he wasn't important anymore, like Erskine died for nothing, and I just got so angry. Because neither of them deserved that. Erskine died because of the serum and Phillips is too stuck up his own ass to even respect the man enough to make sure that he didn't die in vain. And Steve is out there, doing God knows what, when all he wanted was to help, and be useful… And I can't cope with all of this, Peggy. I don't know what to do. Usually when things get too much, I go and bury myself with my machines and I'm fine, but I can't because everything reminds me of them!" She got so frustrated that she just threw the last wrench at the opposite wall, which didn't even put a dent in letting out her frustrations.

Peggy's eyes followed the wrench as it left Darcy's hand. As it clattered to the floor, her eyes turned back to the other woman.

"I know it may not seem like it most of the time, but I still get just as frustrated as you," Peggy told her.

Darcy shrugged, leaning back on a workbench. "Coulda fooled me."

"I keep my calm because that's how I was trained. I keep calm because if I let go of all of my feelings, I am dangerous enough that someone could get hurt," she said sharply. "I keep calm because my job requires it of me. But don't think for one second that I am not as frustrated about all of this as you. I may deal with it in a different way, but I care about what happens to Steve Rogers, just as I want to make sure that Dr Erskine's contributions do not go without their proper respect. And I sure as hell care that Steve Rogers's talents are being wasted while Senator Brandt has him parading across the country like a damn circus act."

Darcy's head swiveled to Peggy so quickly she almost got whiplash. "Steve's doing what?" she asked.

"Senator Brandt had him join the USO tour," Peggy told her. "Did no one tell you? They're calling him 'Captain America'. He did his first show a couple of nights ago…"

"Poor Steve," Darcy breathed out. Going from being America's best hope to being practically a chorus girl. Darcy couldn't imagine how Steve could possibly be feeling right at that moment.

Darcy had an idea and looked around her workshop. "You know…" she began, slowly. "I've really been working very hard…"

"Yes…" Peggy replied, warily.

"I mean I've probably done twice as much work than I was expected to since I got here…"

"Probably," Peggy agreed, the wary tone not leaving her voice.

"So, if I took off for a few days, I wouldn't really be missed…"

"Steve's in Buffalo on Friday night," Peggy told her.

"Oh?" Darcy feigned nonchalance. "What a coincidence. I happen to have some business in Buffalo. If I happen to come across him, I'll send him your regards, shall I?"

"You do that," Peggy replied, amusement showing through her tone.

* * *

The show had just finished when Darcy managed to get backstage at the theater in Buffalo. That was an advantage to being a woman in 1943, she guessed; look professional, grab a clipboard, and walk with purpose, and hardly anyone would question your right to be there. There were chorus girls everywhere once she got back there, but Darcy couldn't spot Steve anywhere, so she grabbed one of the girls.

"Hi," she said, in a friendly manner. "I'm looking for Steve Rogers?"

"Sure, honey," the girl said, smiling back. "He's got his own dressing room down the hall. Third on the left. But if you've got somewhere else to be, I can deliver whatever it is to him," she offered with a glint in her eye. Darcy suspected this offer stemmed from a desire for the girl to have a legitimate reason to poke her nose into Steve's dressing room and potentially see the man half naked.

"Thanks," Darcy told her, smile slightly strained now. "But I got it."

She followed the girl's directions down the hall and came to a stop outside the doorway. There was a small shelf on the wall beside the door, so she put the clipboard on it, not wanting to look silly by carrying the thing into Steve's dressing room.

Darcy had thought about nothing else but this for the past few days. But, now she was here, she realized that she hadn't really thought past this point. What was she supposed to say to him? She had only met the man twice. And yeah they had been through a traumatic experience together, but that didn't really mean anything, in the long run, right? She was just being silly. She had come all the way to New York from London without a solid plan and now it was coming back to bite her in the ass. She was too damn impulsive for her own good.

The door opened while she was still stood there, dithering about whether or not to knock, and Steve walked into her on his way out of the room. There was a sense of déjà vu as Steve's body hit hers and she tumbled backwards. But, luckily, Steve's reflexes and strength were somewhat improved from what they had been the first time they had met, and he caught her before she hit the floor, pulling her back up to her feet with little effort at all.

"Miss Lewis?" he asked, shocked, his hands still on her arms. Darcy wasn't sure whether or not to bring attention to that, or not. It was rather nice.

"Hi, Steve…" she smiled, nervously. "Uh, you can call me Darcy. If you want, that is… But I was kinda hoping you would want to because I was going to ask if you wanted to grab something to eat and it would be kinda weird for me if you were going to call me 'Miss Lewis' the entire time." Darcy was aware that she was rambling, but her brain wouldn't really slow down enough for her to care about it.

Steve's eyebrows raised. "Oh… Uh… Sure. I'm ready to go, if you are?"

Darcy nodded. "Yeah. Um… Let's go."

They walked around the block to find a diner. Neither of them were very familiar with Buffalo, so they decided to just walk around until they found a place.

"So," Steve began, looking at her out of the corner of his eye as they walked down the street. "Is Mr. Stark here too?"

"Howard?" Darcy looked startled. "No. He's still in London. He and Peggy are covering for me over there with the SSR. Had to claim personal reasons to come back to the states for a couple of days."

"Oh." Steve seemed to want to say something else, but faltered over it for a while. "I thought you and Stark were…"

Darcy wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, you and most of America." She sighed, and looked at him, thinking. "If I tell you something, promise me you won't tell no one? I mean, I don't think you're going to go running your mouth off or anything, it's just not something I tell people very often. But there's something that just makes me wanna trust you."

Steve stopped walking as they found themselves outside what looked like a nice little diner. "I promise," he told her.

"He's my brother. Howard, that is," she told him. "We don't advertise it, partly because it might get messy if the wrong people find out how important I am to him, but also because we don't really want people to look too deep into our pasts. Reputation is everything in business, Steve. And Howard had to build his from the bottom up. He doesn't want people digging around, finding out how he grew up on the Lower East Side and his old man screwed around with another woman."

Steve didn't say anything for a while, his face unreadable.

"So that's why your name's Lewis," he said, eventually.

Darcy nodded. "Yeah. It was my mom's name. I went to live with Howard's parents when she died and they offered to change my name, but I didn't want to. It was a part of my mom that I could keep, you know?"

Steve nodded. "I understand that." The silence stretched between them for about a minute before Steve gestured to the diner behind them. "Should we go in?"

They filed into the place and found an unoccupied booth in the corner where they weren't likely to be bothered too much, or overheard. A waitress came over as soon as they had sat down.

"Hey! What can I get you to drink?" she asked, cheerfully.

"Coffee," Steve and Darcy said in unison. They turned to each other and gave a short laugh at that. The waitress smiled at them and nodded, twirling back around to get their order.

"So… why did you come back?" Steve asked.

Darcy bit her lip. That wasn't really a question that she wanted to answer. Truth was, she didn't really  _know_  the answer. She just heard that Steve was out here, doing this, and she was met with the overwhelming need to check on him, to see if he was okay. It was an urge that she had felt since Phillips had informed her that Steve wasn't coming to London, and it had ever really gone away. But finding out this piece of information had just tipped her over the edge. She had tried to hide away in her lab to fight the ridiculous need she had felt to check on a full grown man who, for all she knew, didn't need or want her help, or even her company.

"I wanted to see you," she said, honestly. "I… Peggy told me about what Brandt had you doing and… I don't know."

At that moment, the waitress came with their coffees. She set them down. "Anything else?" she asked, cheerily.

Darcy shook her head at the woman. "We've not had chance to think about it yet."

"No problem," she replied. "I'll come back later."

As the waitress left, Darcy's hands came around the mug of coffee, feeling the warmth. "I really let Phillips have it, you know," she told Steve. "When I found out you'd been left. I wasn't happy. Just… you're so  _good,_  Steve. And you were just thrown aside like last night's garbage for something that wasn't even your fault… I got mad."

"You didn't need-" Steve began, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"I know I didn't  _need to_ , Steve. There's just something about you. I know most men don't like it when girls stand up for them, or whatever. But I just can't stand by and see someone that I care about treated like that. It's not only hurts you, but it shows absolutely no respect for Dr Erskine and what he died for, and I won't stand for it!"

There were tears in her eyes by the end of her speech and Steve's hands came to cover her own, still clutching the coffee cup like a lifeline. It was as if his hands had moved of their own accord, and he stared at them for a second, as if surprised by their actions, before lifting his gaze up to Darcy's face.

"Thank you," he told her.

She blinked at him. "What-"

"I'm not usually good at accepting help," he interrupted her. "So don't get used to it."

She chuckled. They ended up exchanging small talk for a while. He told her about his best friend, Bucky; she told him about growing up with Howard. Both of their mothers had died of TB and, although Darcy had been just seven, at least Steve had been twenty and had gotten more years with his mom; although her death was fresher in his memory.

"So, I know it's rude to ask a lady her age, but how old are you?" Steve asked, curiously.

Darcy blushed. "Um… I'll be twenty-one next month," she admitted.

Steve looked at her, shocked. "Wow… Uh… You've already accomplished so much."

Darcy shrugged. "War is a great motivator," she told him.

Steve nodded; he understood that.

"So…" Darcy fidgeted with her empty coffee cup, pushing it from one hand to the other. "You've never said… Why can you talk to me, but you can't talk to women? Peggy said you have difficulties talking to her as well…"

Steve dropped his gaze, suddenly awkward. He shrugged, trying to find words. "I… I don't know. I mean, you don't talk or act like any woman I've ever known... That's not a bad thing," he rushed to assure her. "You speak your mind and you don't act differently depending on who you're speaking to. You kind of remind me of my mom… not in a creepy way." He cringed. "I'm not saying this right. It's just that… for the longest time, my mom was the only one who could look at me and see past the skinny body, the asthma, and the various other complaints and see the person I was inside. It even took Bucky a while to see me behind all that. You did it right off the bat."

Darcy shrugged. "I'm used to being underestimated because I'm a girl. I'd never do that to anybody else. Everyone has the potential to do great things, it's just that most of the time society holds them back. It shouldn't be that way. I want to change that, but Howard keeps telling me that the middle of a war maybe ain't the best time. And I think he's right. We'll win the war first and change the world after."

Steve looked at her, appreciatively. "You're something else, Darcy Lewis."

* * *

Darcy had to go back to London the next morning, but she made as many excuses as she could manage to get back stateside over the next few months. She and Steve met in twelve different cities and spent as much time together as they could manage. The USO girls got used to having Darcy around and helped to smuggle her backstage whenever she turned up to the theater. If they ate together, there was always an argument over who would pay the bill; Steve claimed that he ate far more than she had, his metabolism worked four times as fast as the average man's which meant he needed to eat far more; Darcy claimed that she invited him out to eat, and he wouldn't be out if she hadn't shown up and, besides, she had more money than she would ever know what to do with. Darcy often won, but she didn't gloat; she wouldn't do that to Steve. The only time that she let him pay was when she visited a few days after her birthday, where he insisted that it was in honor of her birthday.

Steve ended up filming a few movies and Darcy teased him about it endlessly. He was not a good actor. The two of them played poker occasionally when the weather was too bad to go out, and she knew that Steve didn't even have a poker face; he couldn't tell a convincing lie to save his own life. There were also comic books and trading cards. Darcy had caught a few of the men back at the base with the comic books; she found the whole thing endlessly amusing, especially the way Steve smiled bashfully when she brought it up.

She knew that Steve didn't like the whole performing thing, but it seemed that he had come around to the idea that he would never be able to contribute like he wanted and if this was the only way that he could do his part, then so be it.

The last time that Darcy came to visit Steve, she brought some bad news.

"I'm going to the front," Darcy told him, playing with her mashed potatoes.

Steve froze, looking up at Darcy with wide eyes. "You're going to the front?" he echoed.

Darcy nodded. "So, I won't be able to get away, really. Restricted airspace, and all that."

Steve shook his head. "It's fine. Don't worry about me. Are you sure you'll be okay? You'll be careful, right?" He sighed. "I feel like a wife, seeing her husband off to war," he joked, a little edge to his voice.

"Aww, Rogers," Darcy joked back. "You're the best wife a guy could ask for. Just don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me 'til I come marching home," she quoted.

Steve laughed, the sound music to Darcy's ears. "Is this where I ask you to not go giving out those lips of yours?" he murmured.

Darcy blushed. "Why, Captain Rogers!" she fake swooned. "I just ain't that kind of girl."

They laughed it off, but the conversation hung between them all the way back to Darcy's hotel. Steve walked her to her room, as he always did, but this time they both lingered, seemingly reluctant to say goodbye. Eventually, Darcy gathered what courage she could find and stepped up to Steve, leaning up on her tiptoes, and kissed his cheek softly.

"Goodnight, Steve," she said, as softly as her kiss.

Steve's hand came up to touch his cheek where she had kissed him. He looked a little star struck. After a few seconds he seemed to shake himself out of it.

"Goodnight, Darcy," he murmured back.

They stood, not dropping each others' gaze, for a little while longer, before Darcy took a breath and opened her door, stepping through it. She turned and caught Steve's gaze once more, not letting it drop until the door closed and took him away from her view.


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is surprised. Steve gets some bad news. Howard and Peggy come along for the ride.

Italy was very different from England.

The war had taken its toll on both of the countries, but in London the main evidence was the aftermath of air raids; in Italy, the very air smelled of war.

Darcy missed Steve. Part of her wished that he was here with her, but the more sensible part of her knew that it was good that he was well away from all of this.

She spent the majority of her time in her lab still, but made sure to sleep in the quarters that she and Peggy, as the only women in the camp apart from the nurses, shared. She also whiled away some hours by going through the self-defense moves that Jarvis had taught her, trying to increase her strength by doing what she could.

Peggy caught her at it one morning, looking over her critically before correcting her form and passing on a few tips. Darcy soon bartered with her until she agreed to continue training Darcy, although she was reluctant at first. Darcy had claimed that she didn't want to be the weak link, if it came to that. It was unlikely that she would ever need to use the skills that she was fast gaining, but even though it was unlikely, that didn't make it impossible. Peggy did what she could to ensure that her friend would be prepared if and when it came down to that.

Darcy had only had to use the things Peggy had taught her a couple of times, both on US soldiers. She did not wear loose clothes if she was going to be in the lab. Loose material could be easily caught in a motor and cause injury, if not death. Darcy wasn't stupid enough to wear frilly feminine clothes while she was working if they could contribute to her death. Thus, she tended to wear a shirt that fit to her skin, with short sleeves that would not get caught in any mechanism, and pants. The problem with this was that the shirts had the effect of clearly showing her ample bosom. Unfortunately, some of the men had noticed.

There had always been comments, Darcy had gotten used to them. There had been comments back home too. Darcy didn't like them, but nobody would do anything about them if they overheard, so she bore them, knowing that she was better than them, but a part of her fearing what they would do if she was to speak back. This time, however, Darcy snapped and used her newly acquired knowledge to blacken a few eyes, break one nose, and bruise several prides before the word got around the camp and she was left alone, finally.

She was walking with Peggy after breakfast when the remains of the 107th Infantry started filtering in to camp. Some of the injuries were horrendous. One man fell dead before they could even get him into the medical tents. The camp was probably one of the most well equipped on the front, with Darcy and Howard making whatever they could. Darcy had learnt more about medical machinery in the last two months than she ever thought she would need to know.

The days bled together and October was drawing to a close. Darcy was so busy dealing with the repercussions of the return of the 107th that she didn't realize the camp was readying for something until it was happening. The music drew her from her lab. The sound was not one she was used to hearing in these last few months, apart from a few out of tune renditions of Bing Crosby that, in all honesty, she could have done without.

By the time she surfaced into the open air, she recognized the song, froze, and proceeded to run as fast as she could to the source.

The song had just finished as she got there. She made her way to the side of the stage as Steve started flailing while comments and insults were flung at him from the audience; he was clearly unused to doing this show for soldiers. The USO girls had all come off stage and were now hovering in the wings.

"What are you doing?" Darcy hissed at them. "Steve's dying out there! Go save him!"

The girls span around to face her. "Darcy?" One of them, Bette, Darcy was fairly sure her name was, asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"Less talking, more saving Steve from a public lynching!" Darcy insisted.

The girls didn't need telling again, rushing onto the stage with their smiles firmly in place. Steve thundered down the stairs, tugging off his cowl as he came.

"Tough break, soldier," Darcy told him.

Steve nearly fell down the rest of the stairs. " _Darcy?!"_

Darcy laughed. "I thought the serum was supposed to increase your balance and spatial awareness? We can mark that up as a failure, then."

Steve righted himself and took the few steps necessary to come to a stop in front of her. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Told you I was coming to the front," she said. "Been here since the end of August. You should've been here then. Italy in August. I thought I was gonna melt. New York does not prepare you for a European summer…"

Steve didn't say anything; he just nodded. Darcy fidgeted, spotting a smudge of oil on the back of her hand, which she tried to rub off with the opposite one.

"Do you want to take a walk?" Darcy asked. "I mean, we can't go far but…"

"Yeah," Steve replies, quickly. "Uh, yeah… that sounds good."

Steve grabbed a jacket from somewhere at the side of the stage and shrugged it on. "I feel like I stand out less if I can cover up some," he explained, at Darcy's look.

"Steve, you'd stand out anywhere," Darcy told him. "That's not a bad thing," she added, at his look. "Not in the least."

They began to walk, Darcy pointing out the different parts of the camp as they went around.

"So," Darcy said, looking at Steve. "This your first stop overseas?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah. Senator Brandt thought it was a good idea. My usual audience is usually more… twelve. They didn't really edit the show all that much."

"That's because they're idiots," Darcy said bluntly.

Steve nodded, sighing. "It just feels more like I'm some sort of performing monkey for them. They don't see me as a person. I'm just someone that Brandt can parade around as he likes, just to sell war bonds. I'm sure if he could put me away in a closet when he's done and just take me out the next time I'm needed somewhere, that's exactly what he'd do. It would make it more convenient for him."

"Yeah, well, Senator Brandt is a few choice words that I've been asked not to say anymore because it makes the boys nervous when a dame goes around swearing better than they do," Darcy said flippantly.

Steve outright laughed at that and Darcy felt better at having cheered him up, at least a little. But, as if just to kill the mood, at that moment the heavens opened and the two of them were almost instantly drenched. The stage and surrounding areas had been vacated by then, so Darcy grabbed Steve's arm and dragged him over, as it would be under cover.

They sat on the edge of the stage, watching everyone run around, trying to get out of the rain.

"You know," Steve commented. "For the longest time, I dreamed of coming overseas, serving my country… Never could've dreamed it would be like this."

Darcy nodded. "Well you know my opinion." She started to shiver from the rain and the cold. Steve handed over his jacket without a second thought. "I believe that you were meant for more than this. I tell you often enough. Hey…" She nudged him with her elbow. "Maybe next time you see Senator Brandt you can tell him just where to stuff-"

She was cut off by the clack of heels and both she and Steve turned their heads to see Peggy behind them.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounded truly apologetic. "I didn't mean to interrupt…"

Darcy shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Pull up some stage."

Peggy waved her off. "I just came to see how Captain Rogers was doing. It's been a while."

"Yeah," he replied. "Lot's happened since," he said bitterly. "Most notably my somewhat glamorous acting career."

"It's definitely not what I would have pictured for you," Peggy admitted.

Steve shrugged. "It's better than being stuck in a lab like Phillips would have had me doing."

"And you think those are your only choices?" Peggy asked.

"I suggested he tell Brandt where to stuff it," Darcy offered.

"Tempting," Peggy smiled.

"Would've been better than going through that train wreck earlier," Steve muttered.

Peggy sighed. "I wouldn't feel too bad. They've all been hit hard. These men more than most. Your audience contained all that's left of the 107th."

Steve's head came up so quickly that it's a wonder he didn't get whiplash. "The 107th?" he asked, looking between Peggy and Darcy for confirmation.

"Yeah," Darcy confirmed. "Two hundred men went out and about fifty came back."

"It was Schmidt," Peggy told Steve. "He sent out a force. The Nazis ambushed the 107th in Azzano, and then Hydra ambushed the Nazis and captured or killed most of the men that had survived the initial attack."

Steve had gone white.

"Steve?" Darcy asked. "What is it?"

"Bucky's in the 107th," Steve whispered.

Darcy went cold with the realization. Steve was on his feet a second later, heading out into the rain. Peggy and Darcy ran after him.

"Steve?" Darcy yelled.

"Come on!" was all Steve said.

Steve headed straight to where Darcy had pointed out Colonel Phillips had set up camp.

"Colonel Phillips!" he called as he entered the tent, Darcy and Peggy hot on his heels.

"Well, if it isn't the Star Spangled Man With A Plan," Phillips said, dryly. "What is your plan today?"

"I need the casualty list from Azzano," he insisted without preamble.

"You don't get to give me orders, son," Phillips returned, expression not changing.

"I just need one name," Steve pressed. "Sergeant James Barnes from the 107th."

Phillips gaze moved from Steve to the two women stood behind him. "We are going to have a conversation later that neither of you will like," he told them.

Peggy shifted uncomfortably, but met the Colonel's gaze. Darcy hadn't taken her eyes off of Steve the entire time. There wasn't a whole lot Phillips could do to her, she was technically a private contractor; but he certainly, like Erskine had said, had the ability to make life difficult for her.

"Please," Steve said to Phillips. "I just need to know if he's alive, sir. B-A-R-"

"I can spell," Phillips interrupted him. Steve stopped and the two seemed to have some silent staring competition. After a few moments, Phillips seemed to decide something, picking up some of the papers on his desk and, standing up, turned around and started to walk slowly to the back of the tent, thumbing through the papers. Steve, Peggy, and Darcy followed him.

"I have signed more of these condolence letters today that I would care to count," he told them. "But…" He put the papers down on the desk in front of him and turned around to face Steve. "The name does sound familiar. I'm sorry."

Steve's silence spoke a thousand words, even if he said nothing for the next few seconds. Darcy couldn't see his face, as he was facing away from her, but she didn't know what she would have done if she could.

"What about the others?" Steve asked, eventually. "Are you planning a rescue mission?"

"Yeah, it's called winning the war," Phillips told Steve, as if that should be obvious.

"But if you know where they are," Steve asked, in a confused tone. "Why don't you-"

"They're thirty miles behind the lines," Phillips interrupted him. He went over to the map pinned to the wall of the tent, eyes glancing over the area. "There's some of the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We'd lose more men than we'd save. But I don't expect you to understand that because you're a chorus girl."

Steve stiffened and when he spoke again, his voice was lined with lead. "I think I understand just fine."

"Good," Phillips eyed him. "Then understand it somewhere else." He walked past Steve, continuing to talk as he went. "If I read the posters correctly you have somewhere else to be in about thirty minutes."

Steve eyed the map for a while before he answered in a determined tone. "Yes sir. I do."

He walked out of the tent, leaving Peggy and Darcy behind. The two women looked at each other, both at a loss for what to do.

"If either of you have something to say now is the perfect time to keep it to yourselves," Phillips remarked behind them.

Darcy rolled her eyes and ran out of the tent, hoping to catch up to Steve. She saw him entering the tent that had been set up for him and the USO girls. When she went in, he was packing a bag.

"What are you doing? Planning on walking to Austria?" Darcy asked.

Steve didn't stop what he was doing; he didn't even turn around. "If that's what it takes," he replied.

"Steve…" Darcy bit her lip. "You heard what Phillips said. The chances-"

"There's a chance that he's alive, Darcy. I can't just ignore that," Steve interrupted, pulling on another jacket. "And by the time Phillips gets up off his behind and does whatever it is he's planning on doing, it may be too late."

"Steve…" Darcy wasn't even sure how she was going to finish that sentence, so it was probably for the best when Steve interrupted her again.

"You keep telling me that you think I'm better than what they have me doing; that I'm meant for more. You told me that you believed in me. Was all of that true?" he asked, turning to look at her at last.

Darcy met his gaze and she knew she was lost as soon as her eyes met his. How could she refuse this man anything?

"Of course I meant it," she told him.

"Then let me do this."

Darcy sighed, making her mind up in that moment.

"I can do better than that."

* * *

Darcy's plan to sneak Steve to her and Howard's personal plane without detection was thwarted as soon as they stepped out of the tent to find Peggy waiting for them outside.

"I was just giving the two of you some time alone," she told them. "But don't think for a moment I'm letting the pair of you do this without me."

They were thwarted for the second time when they got to the plane only to find Howard tinkering with the engine, as he often could be found doing if he got bored of his current project.

Darcy ended up admitting to Howard what they were planning to do, just so that he would let them anywhere near the plane. When he heard their plan, he insisted on flying the plane, which led to an argument between Darcy and Howard that they didn't really have time for. Peggy broke up the argument and pointed out that there were two pilot seats and if they didn't leave now, they would be at risk of discovery. Darcy and Howard reluctantly agreed to be co-pilots and the four of them piled into the plane.

Darcy was focusing on flying the plane, but was listening out to what Peggy and Steve were discussing as well.

"The HYDRA camp is in Krausberg, tucked between these two mountain ranges. It's a factory of some kind," Peggy told him.

"We should be able to drop you right on the doorstep," Howard offered.

"Just get me as close as you can," Steve called back. He paused for a moment. "You know you all are gonna be in a lot of trouble when you land."

"At least we'll be in trouble together," Darcy shrugged. "And it'll be for a noble cause. I always wanted to be in trouble for a noble cause."

"Plus, we're not the only ones that will be in trouble," Peggy pointed out.

"Where I'm going, if anybody yells at me I can just shoot them," Steve said nonchalantly.

"Agent Carter!" Howard called. "I thought on our way back we could stop off in Lucerne for a late night fondue?"

"Not while I'm still here, you're not," Darcy scowled. "And stop hitting on Peggy. She will punch you eventually, and I will not take you to a nurse afterwards. You'll just have to suffer."

Peggy had a smile in her voice when she continued to speak to Steve. "This is your transponder. Activate it when you're ready and the signal will lead us straight to you."

"Are you sure this thing works?" he asked.

"It's been tested more than you, pal," Howard said, defensive about his tech.

The shots came out of nowhere, but they were suddenly everywhere. Howard and Darcy took evasive action, working off of one another as well as they always had done, becoming a well oiled machine under pressure.

"Get back here!"

Peggy's voice broke through Darcy's concentration and she almost span back to see what Steve was doing that had Peggy yelling in that tone of voice.

"We're taking you all the way in!" Peggy continued to yell at Steve.

"As soon as I'm clear you turn this thing around and get the hell out of here." Steve's voice seemed further away than it should have been.

"You can't give me orders!" Peggy shouted.

"The hell I can't. I'm a Captain."

It suddenly went very quiet in the back of the plane. After a few moments, Darcy noticed Peggy approach over her shoulder.

"He jumped, didn't he?" Darcy asked.

"Yes," Peggy confirmed.

Darcy sighed. "Well, I guess we go back to base. There's nothing else we can do now. We just have to trust that he knows what he's doing."

"Do you?" Peggy asked.

Darcy executed a maneuver that dodged another spray of bullets. "I have to."

* * *

Twenty-four hours after she, Howard, and Peggy got back to the base, Darcy was pretty sure she was having a heart attack. Luckily, Howard was better in a crisis than Darcy was.

"Sit," he ordered. "Put your head between your legs."

He grabbed the back of Darcy's head and forced her into that position. After a few minutes, it didn't feel like her heart was going to burst out of her chest anymore, and her nausea had mostly gone. She still felt like crying, though.

"I'm sorry," she said, in between sobs. She clutched at Howard, needing some form of human contact. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Howard stood awkwardly, patting her hair. "You're worried and you're panicking, Darce. It's okay."

"No it isn't," Darcy said stubbornly. "Why hasn't he called for help, Howard? If he was okay, he would've signaled his position."

"Maybe he just got held up?" Howard offered. "Hell, I don't know, kid. I don't do people. I do machines."

Darcy laughed, humorlessly. "I thought I did, too. I don't know… You remember that night, before Project Rebirth? You told me you wished I could find somebody that would make me happy? Well, right now, I don't wanna be happy if it ain't Steve making me."

Howard turned to look at her. "Captain Tightpants? You have to be kidding me, Darce."

Darcy frowned. "You remember that thing where I promised not to judge your choice of partner if you promised not to judge mine?"

Howard sighed, looking constipated for a moment. "Fine. I will just silently judge when he comes back.  _When_."

Darcy chuckled and headed for the washroom to clean herself up a bit.

When she was done, she caught Peggy headed for Phillips's tent. Darcy had been avoiding Phillips since the dressing down that he had given the three of them upon their return. Darcy could take a dressing down on the chin, but it was just too much alongside her worry about Steve.

Deciding that she needed to see Peggy enough to have to face Phillips, she caught up with the woman as she was entering Phillips's tent. Anything she would have said escaped her as she took in what Phillips was doing.

"…as a result, I must declare Captain Rogers killed in action. Period," he dictated to his typist.

The sound that escaped Darcy's throat was not a human one; it sounded more like a wounded animal.

Phillips spun around to face the women. Peggy squared her shoulders as she came into the tent properly, throwing several photographs down onto the desk beside Phillips.

"The last surveillance flight is back," Peggy told him. Darcy found herself admiring the steadiness of Peggy's voice. Darcy knew that she didn't trust herself to speak right now.

Phillips picked up the photos, sighed, and then spoke to the man at the typewriter. "Go get a cup of coffee, Corporal."

"Yes sir," the man murmured, vacating the tent quickly.

Phillips paced the tent for a minute before looking at Darcy. "I can't touch you or your brother. You're the country's number one weapons contractors. You," he turned to pierce Peggy with his gaze. "Are neither one."

Darcy found her voice. "Sir, it wasn't-" But Peggy spoke over her.

"With all due respect, sir," she said, steadily. "I don't regret my actions. And I don't think Captain Rogers did, either."

"What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions?" Phillips asked. "I took a chance with you, Agent Carter. And I wasn't entirely sold on the idea of having Miss Lewis here, either. And now America's golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead and all because the two of you had a crush."

"It wasn't that," Peggy returned. "We had faith."

"Well I hope that's a great comfort to you both when this division gets shut down," he replied.

Outside the tent, men started running around, shouting to each other. Darcy looked out, curiously, to see them all running in the same direction. Peggy and Phillips had noticed it as well, and the three of them headed outside to see what all the fuss was about.

The men were gathering at the border and Darcy pushed her was past a few of the members of the crowd, cursing the fact that she was about a foot shorter than most of these men. When she got past she could see, coming over the hill, a bunch of soldiers, escorting a tank into Camp borders. And leading them, looking slightly worse for wear, was Steve.

The men started to part to allow them to pass. Applause started somewhere down the line and all the men picked it up, the whole camp applauding the returning soldiers by the time that Steve stopped in front of where Darcy was stood. Darcy noticed, for the first time since she had spotted Steve, that Peggy and Phillips had stopped on either side of her. Steve looked at her and she returned his gaze.

"You're late," she told him.

Steve pulled out the transponder, which was now a twisted, useless, mass of metal. "I couldn't call my ride," he replied, a smile tugging the end of his lips. He turned to Phillips.

"Some of these men need medical attention," he told the Colonel. "And I would like to surrender myself for disciplinary action."

Phillips eyed Steve, and then turned his gaze to the men behind him, before looking at Steve once more. "That won't be necessary," he said.

The two of them looked at each other, neither dropping their gaze as Steve said, "Yes, sir."

Phillips nodded gruffly at him, turning around. He looked at Darcy and then Peggy. "Faith, huh?" he said to her, before walking away.

Peggy stepped up to Steve, looking over him critically. "You'll do," she decided, mouth curving into a smile. Darcy didn't have time to wonder what she had meant by that, as one of the soldiers behind Steve shouted.

"Hey! Three cheers for Captain America!"

The cheers went on and Darcy didn't move. Steve was back, and that was all that mattered right now.


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy meets Bucky. Steve gets something he wasn't expecting. Bucky gets something he deserves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance for how this chapter ends...

Steve introduced Darcy to Bucky about an hour later.

"Hey, Darcy?" he asked, coming into her lab, where she had escaped to, trying to keep out of the way of the rest of the camp. "You got a second?"

"For you?" Darcy teased. "Anytime."

Steve blushed softly. "I wanted to introduce you to my best friend." The man who had begun the cheer for Steve earlier walked in to the lab, stepping around Steve to come into view. He was fairly tall, although not as tall as Steve, with dark hair and handsome features. "This is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th."

Darcy came around to offer her hand to the man. "Of course. Hello, Sergeant Barnes. Steve's told me so much about you."

Bucky took her hand and went to kiss it but, at a cough and a quick glance from Steve, he smoothly turned it into a handshake. Darcy was impressed. The man took direction well, and rather promptly.

"Well," Bucky smiled charmingly at her. "Stevie spent most of the walk back from Austria talkin' about you, so I almost feel like I know you already."

"Oh really?" Darcy looked at Steve. "Just what was he saying about me?"

"Nothing but good things!" Steve defended himself from her narrowing eyes.

"Uh-huh." Darcy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Bucky agreed. "He told me you're the smartest woman he's ever met; possibly the smartest person. And that you helped make him like this? Cos I gotta tell you, this is gonna take me quite some time to get used to," he finished, gesturing to Steve's new physique.

Darcy laughed. "Tell me about it," she said. "I saw it happen and I can hardly believe it. It definitely took a while."

"So…" Bucky crossed his arms, sizing the woman in front of him up. "I hear you're a modern woman, Miss Lewis."

"You heard correctly, Sergeant Barnes," Darcy returned, wondering where this was going.

"Well, then you probably won't be too offended by what I'm about to do. 'Cos, you see," he continued. "I promised Steve's ma before she died that I'd look out for him, and I'd make sure that any girl he might take up with was good enough for him so…"

"Buck!" Steve interrupted, horrified. "You can't-"

"Yes I can, Steve," Bucky said evenly. "I promised your ma and that's what I'm going to do. I ain't gonna go back on my promise to a dead lady, especially one who was as good to me as your ma, so can it, Steve."

"It's alright, Steve," Darcy assured him. "Sergeant Barnes just wants the best for you. I understand that." She turned to Bucky. "What do you want to know?" she asked.

"That you won't hurt him," Bucky said bluntly. "Steve's had a lot of hurt in his life and he don't need no more."

Steve shook his head and sighed. Darcy sent him what she hoped was a soothing smile before turning back to Bucky.

"I promise that I'll try not to hurt him," she said. "I can't imagine hurting Steve. I think it's the worst thing I could possibly imagine."

Bucky looked at her appraisingly. She smiled softly. "Anything else?"

Bucky shifted, a little uncomfortably. "Well, I know that he's not got all the health issues anymore, but Stevie forgets to take care of himself; forgets that he's important too. You gotta be prepared to take care of him when he just won't."

" _Buck!"_  Steve was a lovely shade of crimson and looked as if he wanted the floor to open up and just swallow him whole.

"Steve, it's fine. I promise," Darcy stressed at him, not looking away from Bucky. "I promise you, Sergeant Barnes," she told him. "From the moment I met Steve, nothing has been more important to me than making sure that he is okay. I can't promise that I'll be perfect, because I couldn't ever hope to be, but I can promise that I will try my damned hardest. And I understand that having this conversation is very awkward because Steve and I haven't even discussed what we're doing yet, but I assume from you having this conversation with me that you figured it needed saying."

Bucky said nothing for quite a while, just looked at her unflinchingly, before his mouth turned up in a grin. "Well, Miss Lewis, I can see that it's gonna be interesting having you around."

"Darcy," she corrected him, returning his smile, letting go an unconscious breath she hadn't realized she had been holding.

"Then it's Bucky," he told her. "And I hope that you can afford to feed this guy now. We stopped by the mess hall on our way here and I ain't never seen someone eat as much as he managed to."

Steve choked as Darcy bit back a laugh. "Don't worry, Bucky. I made my first million dollars this year. I figure that might buy us a meal or two."

The two men's jaws both dropped, neither of them able to say a word.

"Y-yeah," Bucky said eventually. "That- uh… That'll do. I… Christ. I want your job."

Darcy laughed. "I've been tinkering in engineering since I was eight years old. I've been kinda lucky. Not much recognition for female engineers out there. I just was lucky enough that my brother started his own company and believed in me."

"Oh yeah?" Bucky asked. "What's your brother's company? Maybe I've heard of it."

Grinning, Darcy replied. "Maybe you have. It's Stark Industries."

Bucky almost had to pick himself up off of the floor at that. He couldn't really speak for a while, so Darcy continued. "You mind giving Steve and I a minute? I think we kinda need to talk."

Bucky nodded dumbly, patting Steve on the shoulder as he went out, blinking stupidly as he did so. Darcy turned to Steve, who hadn't said anything in a while now. She was worried that maybe her and Bucky talking had scared him.

"You told Bucky about Howard."

Whatever Darcy had expected Steve to say, that wasn't it.

"Huh?" she was aware how unintelligent she sounded, but she couldn't care right now.

"You told Bucky about Howard," Steve repeated. "You said you don't tell people. Why would you tell Bucky?"

Oh. That made more sense. "Bucky's your family. You trust him. So I got reason to trust him, too. And it means that you won't have to go keeping my secrets with him, at least. You won't have to worry about slipping up." Darcy shrugged.

Steve looked at her for a while longer, and then shook his head slowly. "You are the most incredible woman I have ever met," he said frankly.

Darcy blushed. "I- I'm not- you shouldn't- I mean, Peggy's more-"

"Agent Carter's a hell of a woman," Steve shrugged. "But you? You shouldn't compare yourself to her because you are so different. She's all hard edges and class. You're softer and you just… you have this ball of energy in you that just can't be contained. And I like that. You're your own woman, Darcy Lewis. Don't go holding yourself up to anyone else's standards, because they can never hope to account for someone as amazing as you."

Darcy could have cried. Nobody had ever said anything like that about her before, or even seen her in the way that Steve claimed to see her. She knew that Howard loved her, and respected her, but a part of her doubted whether Howard would have given her the time of day if she hadn't been as interested in engineering, and as proficient in it as she was; a secret, hidden part of her has always thought that if she hadn't become good at engineering, Howard would have lost all interest in her years ago.

"So," Darcy said, trying to blink back the tears that threatened to form at the corners of her eyes. "I think that was your best friend's version of the 'you hurt him, I'll hurt you' talk."

Steve inclined his head with an embarrassed smile. "Should I expect one of those from Howard?" he asked.

"I honestly don't know," Darcy admitted. "Howard never does the things that you expect from him."

"I don't know whether I should feel relieved or uneasy at that," Steve confessed.

Darcy shrugged. "Whatever makes it easier to sleep at night, I suppose." She paused. "So… What exactly is happening here? Are we…?" she trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence.

"Well, being in an active warzone makes it kind of hard for me to ask you on a date, but I suppose we've already done the whole date thing, even if we didn't call it that," Steve said.

Laughing, Darcy admitted, "You're probably right. So, what? Does this make me your girl, Captain Rogers?"

"Well, Miss Lewis," Steve murmured, stepping closer to her. "I'd be proud to call you my girl if you'd be proud to call me your guy."

"I think I could live with that," she said, closing the distance between them.

* * *

They moved back to London the very next day. Darcy was happy to get away from the front lines, at least temporarily; she had no doubt that it wouldn't be for forever, though.

Steve, now on active duty, got a uniform. Darcy spent the first few minutes that she saw him in it completely unable to form sentences. The uniform itself didn't really do it for her; she'd seen so many men in the uniform that she'd been desensitized to it by itself. But Steve in the uniform was something else entirely.

Darcy hadn't seen Steve as much as she would have liked to the first day they were in London, but the first order of business was for him to share the knowledge that he had garnered while he was inside the HYDRA base. Steve's already good memory was now almost perfect, which meant that the quick glances at maps he had been able to get gave the SSR knowledge of almost every HYDRA base in Europe. Phillips was so pleased he conveniently forgot everything he had said to Steve before the rescue, and Steve graciously wouldn't mention it either.

Steve had told her that he would be heading to the pub to speak to some of the men that he had rescued from the HYDRA facility, trying to persuade them to join his team. When Darcy had heard this, she immediately went to Peggy, and the two of them formulated a plan.

To say that jaws dropped when Darcy and Peggy walked into the pub would be an understatement. Some of the men practically had to pick their bottom jaws off of the floor as the two women walked by. Darcy wasn't used to the attention. She was wearing a royal purple dress borrowed from Peggy for the occasion. It complemented her dark hair well, standing out in the sea of Army uniforms. Peggy stood beside her in a striking red dress, looking every inch as though she belonged there; belonged anywhere.

The two of them stopped in front of Steve and Bucky, who had been leaning against the bar talking when they came into view. The men stood up straight, turned around, and took in the view in front of them with a certain amount of awe.

"Hello, boys," Peggy smirked with a measured amount of amusement in her voice.

"Ma'am," Steve greeted, not taking his eyes off of Darcy. "Hi," Steve said to her. It was as if he thought that if he took his eyes away, somehow she would disappear.

Smiling, Darcy turned to Bucky. "If you don't mind, Bucky, I am going to steal your best friend for a dance."

Bucky smiled. "And what if I had plans for a dance?"

"Well," Darcy smirked. "I'm sure if you asked Steve very nicely, he'd dance with you later, but I'm insisting on the first one."

Bucky laughed out loud. "I meant with you, doll. If Stevie don't mind giving you up for just one dance?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "I'm sure if you manage to behave yourself with Agent Carter while we're gone, Darcy just might give you a chance."

"I'm sure Agent Carter and I can entertain ourselves while you're busy." Bucky smiled charmingly at Peggy, who sent him a withering look in return. The smile dropped slightly and Darcy stifled a laugh, dragging Steve onto the dance floor.

"I… uh…" Steve stammered as Darcy pulled on his arm. "I can't really dance," he admitted.

Darcy smiled. "Well, luckily for you, Howard has dragged me to many parties in the last few years. I've become somewhat of an expert. It's easy. I'll teach you."

Steve looked hesitant. "Are you sure? I weigh a hell of a lot more now. If I step on you, it's gonna hurt."

"Steve," Darcy said, seriously. "Do you have any idea the amount of tools and various parts of engines that I have dropped on my feet over the years? I actually have a couple of surgical pins in there. Trust me, we'll be okay."

Steve still looked hesitant, so Darcy grabbed his right hand and placed it at her waist before grabbing the other one and placing it in her own. "Trust me, Steve," she pleaded.

Steve nodded, finally, and the pair were about ready to move when a commotion caught their attention. When they saw who was at the center of the commotion, they broke apart and headed over. Peggy was standing, hands on hips, glowering at Bucky, who had his hands covering his nose where Peggy had clearly punched him. Peggy saw the two of them coming over and turned heel, walking out of the pub without a word.

"What did you do?" Steve said, accusatory at his best friend.

All Bucky did was shake his head, eyes not moving from Peggy as she walked away from him, and said, "Damn Steve, I want one of those."

* * *

Darcy made it back to the small apartment that she and Peggy shared not too long after. Peggy was taking off her dress and, once she had, she threw it at the opposite wall.

"Whoa," Darcy breathed. "You know that dress is not Sergeant Barnes, right?"

Peggy looked over at her, still so annoyed she was practically breathing flames.

"That man," she hissed. "Is the most infuriating, insufferable-"

"Uh huh," Darcy grinned, throwing herself down on her bed, finding Peggy's actions far too amusing to stop.

Peggy ranted about Bucky for a good half an hour while she got ready for bed. Darcy found the whole thing rather hilarious, but knew better than to show it.

* * *

The next morning, Darcy got to Howard's lab early so that they could talk before their meeting with Steve, which Darcy had managed to remember to tell him in all the fuss of last night's goings-on. The lab was a mess; it looked like a bomb had hit it. There was glass and plaster dust everywhere, and a large chunk missing out of the wall.

"Howard?" Darcy called, unsure if she should be worried. To tell the truth, coming to find Howard and finding a destroyed lab was not a new experience for Darcy; she soon learned not to judge until she had seen Howard.

Howard came into view from another room and Darcy sighed and raised an eyebrow at him. Howard paused, looked confused for a moment, and then seemed to remember the state of the room. He shrugged.

"Just a minor setback with the weapons Rogers brought us back," he said. "Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about?" Darcy asked, skeptically. "Howard, you have plaster dust in your hair."

Howard rubbed his hands over his hair and dust fell to the floor in a cloud, making him look like he had a major dandruff problem.

"I should probably shower," he mused.

"Probably," Darcy agreed. "But we don't have time for that. We have that meeting with Steve, Peggy and Phillips at 8, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember," Howard grumbled. "I'm not a child, Darce. I'm older than you."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Yeah? Then act like it."

"You want me to start acting like an older brother?" Howard challenged, folding his arms. "Then how about I start by going over to Captain Rogers and kicking his ass for looking at my little sister?"

Darcy couldn't hold back a small choke of laughter. "He'd kill you. You're half his size."

"We thinking about the same Rogers?" Howard asked. "The man would probably  _let_  me beat him up to balance the scales of wrong and right, or for truth and justice, or whatever propaganda crap Brandt had him spouting."

He was probably right, Darcy mused. Steve would probably feel that Howard had every right to defend Darcy's honor, or whatever. She sighed.

"Come on," she told him. "Time for that meeting."

Howard and Darcy spent a while with Phillips before Steve was supposed to arrive, going over the things that they had been working on. Howard was especially proud of the shield he had made from the vibranium, but wasn't entirely sure it was ready yet. Peggy joined them not too long after. All traces of the night before were non-existent. This was why Peggy Carter made such a good undercover agent, Darcy supposed; she compartmentalized well.

Darcy looked at her watch to see it was just a little after 0800.

"Time to bring in Captain Rogers?" Peggy asked.

Darcy nodded. "He's probably outside waiting already. You ready for him?" she asked Phillips.

Phillips nodded. "Agent Carter, bring him in."

The woman stood to do just that. Darcy stood up to join her. "I'll go with you," she said, brightly.

They stepped out into the hallway but Steve was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, they exchanged glances.

"Maybe he's down the hall?" Darcy wondered.

They took a few steps down the hallway and almost walked past Steve. He was standing with a blonde WAC private pressed up against him. Just as the women spotted him, the private's lips were upon Steve's.

Darcy involuntarily let out a choked sound and Steve sprang apart from the woman, spluttering.

"We're ready for you, Captain. If you aren't otherwise occupied." Peggy's voice was so cold it could have frozen mountain caps.

Darcy felt like she was in a dream. She felt as if wind was rushing in her ears and her vision narrowed.

She couldn't hear him, but she saw Steve's mouth form her name as he took a step towards her. On reflex, she stepped back before he could touch her and his arm fell away as if it were a dead weight. Not knowing what else to do, Darcy turned around, woodenly, and walked away.


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns French. Steve is stubborn. Everyone else is 100% done with this shit.

 

Darcy was avoiding Steve and, by extension, Bucky. She couldn't run the risk that Steve would send in his best friend to reason with her or fight for his case.

Peggy was firmly on her side. Word travelled fast that, later that same day, Peggy had taken a few shots at the Captain. All of them had been blocked by the vibranium shield that Howard had given to Steve, but the sentiment had been there.

Howard was claiming neutrality in all of this business. He still worked with Steve and spent time with his sister, but refused to pass any messages along, or listen to any ranting about the other party. It was probably the smart thing to do, seeing as Howard was still contracted to do his job and liaise with everybody.

Darcy still had to do her job, too. But if she needed anybody from the team, she refused to see Steve or Bucky. The majority of the time, the Howling Commandos, as the team came to be called, sent either Sergeant Timothy 'Dum Dum' Dugan or Private Gabriel 'Gabe' Jones. She liked Dum Dum, with his red hair and mustache, which he was quite proud of. He told many jokes, a lot of them which would have been viewed as too inappropriate for a woman to hear, and laughed loud and booming.

Gabe was a lot closer to her in age, Dum Dum being over ten years older than her, and a fair bit quieter than the Sergeant. He had grown up in Georgia and had graduated from Howard University not long before the war broke out. The pair ended up spending a lot more time together when Darcy found out that Gabe spoke fluent French and German, and she insisted that he teach her.

"Please?" she asked, getting closer to begging.

Gabe raised his eyebrows. "Don't you have enough work to do?" he asked, eyeing the gun that she was fiddling with. "You know, a human brain can only hold so much information."

"But I  _want_  to," Darcy absolutely did not whine.

"Why?" he asked.

Darcy sighed. "Because it's something I don't know how to do, and I don't like not knowing something."

Gabe looked at her, measuring. "And this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that engineering isn't satisfactorily keeping your mind off of… other things anymore?"

Darcy scowled, pointing a screwdriver in his direction. "One of the conditions to me allowing any Commando in my lab is that…  _other things_  are not mentioned."

Gabe held his hands up, placating. "That's why I said 'other things'. And anyway, if you bar me from your lab, how will you ever learn French?"

"And German," Darcy corrected.

"One or the other, Darcy. You can't learn both at the same time, even your brain will start mixing up the vowel sounds; I promise you," he replied.

Darcy considered this, finally dropping her shoulders in defeat. "Fine. French first? I kinda want to know what Dernier is saying when he starts ranting in French because your face gets so amusing when he starts."

"You got it," Gabe said.

They sat in companionable silence while Darcy finished what she was doing.

"Does it bother you?" Gabe said, eventually.

Darcy looked up. "Does what bother me?" she asked.

"Well, we spend a lot of time together. I kinda think like we're friends? I mean, I said I wasn't gonna bring it up, but… Doesn't it bother you that I'm black?"

Darcy put down the gun, leaning against the desk. "Does it bother you that I'm a woman?" she returned.

Gabe looked confused. "What? No! Why..?"

"If it doesn't bother you that I'm a woman, why should it bother me that you're black? Or Morita's Japanese? Or Dernier's French? How is it any different? We're all people, doing our jobs. What's outside shouldn't matter."

Gabe considered her. "That's very forward thinking of you."

Darcy shrugged, going back to what she had been doing before this line of conversation started. "My Grandma was a Suffragette. I was raised in an untraditional way. It's just that most people see that as a bad thing."

* * *

Gabe was true to his word and Darcy's French lessons started later that day. It wasn't too long before the Howling Commandos got sent out again, but she just kept going over the things that he had already taught her. Before long, whenever she needed to count, she did it in French, just to solidify it into her memory.

The Commandos had been gone for over a week, but the SSR were getting updates sent as often as possible, often being sent film reels, which were easy enough to hide. Darcy wasn't officially meant to be a part of these viewings but she was around so much, doing various things all over the base, that everyone sort of forgot she was there.

She was there to see the footage of Steve opening up his compass and caught a glimpse of a photo of herself in there. She made a small noise, spinning around and leaving the room before she could be yelled at for being there.

He had a photo of her in his compass. What did that mean? Well, she knew what it was supposed to mean. Men kept pictures of their girls wherever they would be safe; the inside of a compass was one of the safest places. It was also one of the only things that nobody would think twice if you kept taking it out to look at, which is why it was a popular place for a lot of men to keep photos. Except Darcy wasn't Steve's girl anymore. He had made that abundantly clear when he went around kissing another woman.

But there was a part of Darcy that wanted to hear Steve out; listen to his side of the story. This part had been continually kept in check over the last few weeks by the rest of her, the more cynical part of Darcy that was certain Steve was too good for Darcy anyway. He'd moved on to another woman because he'd decided that Darcy wasn't worth it. She had known that he would, sooner or later. It had just been sooner than she had expected. It served her right for letting her guard down; thinking she was safe.

So she squashed that part of her that just wanted Steve back. She wasn't worth it.

* * *

There had been no word on when the Commandos would be back from their latest trip to a HYDRA base in France, so it was a surprise when their plane came back and Steve came out supported by Gabe and Bucky, his right side covered in blood.

"Captain!" Peggy exclaimed from where she was standing beside Darcy. Darcy didn't trust herself to say anything, so she just met Peggy for speed as she rushed over.

"Report," Peggy barked, as she got closer.

"Cap's got three bullet wounds to the side. One graze, one went straight through, but the third's still lodged in there," Gabe explained.

"I'm fine," Steve bit out.

"Yeah, well," Bucky replied, straining only very slightly under Steve's weight. "You'll have to forgive us if we wanna let the docs have a look first, buddy."

Darcy kicked into gear at that, making herself put aside any issues she may have with Steve. He was injured and they needed her knowledge right now.

"How long ago?" she asked, eyes going straight to Gabe.

"About four hours," he estimated.

Darcy nodded. "We need to move as quick as we possibly can. The serum makes him heal at a faster than normal rate. We have to get that bullet out before his body starts to heal around it."

Darcy looked around and saw that Pinkerton was relatively unscathed. "Pinky, you can run fast. Get a doctor. Tell him we'll meet him in the operating room."

Pinky nodded and sprinted out of the room. Steve turned to her with a stubborn expression on his pale face.

"I'm fine," he repeated. "It's already stopped bleeding-"

"Steve," Darcy interrupts with a hard look on her face. "The fact that it's already stopped bleeding is not good news because that means the bullet stuck inside of you may have already started to heal over. This means that you could develop septicemia, or the bullet could move and end up in one of your organs."

"We don't-"

Darcy interrupted him again. "Yes I know that we don't know if you can even get septicemia, but I don't think that now is the best time to test it, either." She narrowed her eyes. "So what you are going to do right now is this: you will stop arguing with me and let Gabe and Bucky help you into the operating room. You will let the doctor take the bullet out of your abdomen and let him clean your wounds. You will not complain while you do this. Are we understood?"

Steve looked like he wanted to argue, but gave up after a few seconds, lowering his eyes in defeat. "Yes ma'am," he replied sullenly, letting Bucky and Gabe hold him up again.

The two men helped Steve out of the room, leaving everyone else looking at Darcy as if she had just grown an extra head.

"What?" she asked, defensively.

"I never saw someone get Cap to back down that quickly," Dum Dum told her, appreciatively. "Next time he gets hurt and refuses help, I want you around. Things might get done a hell of a lot faster."

The other men nodded and Darcy blushed.

"Alright, men," Peggy interrupted. "If you're hurt go to the nurse's station and get checked out. Debrief when Captain Rogers gets out of surgery."

The men all filtered out, leaving Darcy with Peggy. As soon as the last en left the room, Darcy's legs gave out from under her. Peggy, quick with the reflexes, managed to catch her before she hit the floor.

"Hey there," she murmured. "You're okay. I think you've just had a bit of a shock. Let's go get you a nice cup of tea. That sound good to you?"

Darcy nodded shakily. "Got anything stronger?"

* * *

Darcy sat in her lab later that night, not really doing anything in particular. She set out to do some work, to distract herself from the events of that afternoon, but she couldn't contrite on anything. All her usual tricks for distracting herself were useless this time. She ended up sat at her desk, playing with some screws, rolling them back and forth between her two hands.

Steve could have died.

Well, he probably wouldn't have died from the wounds he got. He was probably right that he wouldn't have got septicemia, but that was not the point.

If he had gotten hit anywhere more vulnerable… not even the super soldier serum could heal a bullet to the head or heart; it would be too quick. And that part of her that she had been trying to shut up for the past few weeks – the part that wanted to give Steve a chance – kept telling her that if Steve had died, he would have died thinking that she hated him. And she didn't.

She didn't hate Steve. That part of her was growing stronger and looked to be close to overthrowing the other part of her that wanted to close off her heart to the chance of getting hurt. Because if Steve had died thinking that Darcy hated him… Darcy wasn't sure that she would have been able to live with herself if that had been the case.

There was a knock on her open lab door and she looked up to see Bucky leaning against the door frame. When she didn't say anything, he lifted his eyebrows.

"What?" he asked. "Not going to throw me out this time?"

Darcy looked away, shrugging, but not saying a word. She picked up a screw and rolled it between her finger and thumb, feeling the ridges in the metal as it twirled.

"He's fine," Bucky said. "But I suspect you already knew that."

She still didn't say anything. She wasn't sure what Bucky really expected her to say here. She hadn't been avoiding him just because she was worried about him trying to advocate for Steve. She was also ashamed.

She had promised Bucky that she would try not to hurt Steve, and she went ahead and did it anyway not even that long after their conversation. She had hurt his best friend. He had every right to be mad at her and she just didn't understand why he wasn't. It confused the hell out of her. By all rights, he should be mad. She broke her promise and hurt Steve. She would be mad if it were someone else, so why wasn't he?

"I just wondered, because of your display earlier, if you were done now?" Bucky asked.

Darcy's head shot up. She furrowed her brows in confusion. "What?"

"Well," Bucky continued. "We were all waiting for you and Steve to get your acts together and put your pride at bay. Because, by all accounts, you've been as difficult to work with as Steve has."

"I have not-" Darcy spluttered. "I mean, we haven't…"

"You're both as bad as each other," Bucky told her. "You're well matched; it's easy to see how you managed to get together. Look, I don't know all the details. What I do know is you saw Steve doing something that hurt you and you ran. That's understandable. But then you let your pride get in the way of him explaining things to you. So, after you rejecting him, his pride refused to let him try again. So you've both been avoiding each other but it's clear as day that you both miss each other."

"You don't know-" Darcy tried to begin, tone miserable.

"I know I don't know," Bucky said. "What I do know is Steve. And he spends half his time wearing that exact same expression on his face," he told her, pointing to her. "It's stupid. And you just won't talk to each other. That's even more stupid. Together you're just too much stupid to handle."

Darcy set her jaw and folded her arms. Bucky sighed.

"Look. I came to you because I figured that I might be able to talk some sense into you. I've known Steve for nearly fourteen years. I know that if he don't wanna see sense, I won't be able to make him see it. I never had that particular talent."

Darcy still said nothing. She didn't even want to look at Bucky, afraid of what she might see. After a full minute of neither of them saying anything, she heard the man turn to leave. Just before he disappeared out of sight, he turned back around.

"Just… give him a chance, Darcy." He spoke quietly and Darcy had to almost strain to hear him. "He never got many good things in his life. You were one of the good ones."

He left Darcy with her thoughts.

Her head was spinning. She didn't know what to think.

She sighed. It had been a long day and she was certain that Howard had stashed a bottle of good scotch somewhere. He wasn't as inventive as you would expect him to be in his hiding places. And Darcy was determined to get some sleep, even if she had to drink herself unconscious.

* * *

The next day began with a hangover to rival all other hangovers that. Darcy opened her eyes and immediately wished she hadn't. The light was too bright, and that was saying something, seeing as she was in London during the Blitz. No lights in this city were too bright; it was a defense against the German aircrafts that would seek out clusters of light in order to establish where the big cities were. So the British used dim lighting and heavy curtains to hide their cities from above. It was all rather clever, Darcy thought.

When she thought that she could take it, she opened her eyes again. She was sat at her desk, hand still clutching the empty bottle of scotch she had finished the night before. She remembered that she had been unwilling to go back to the room she shared with Peggy while she was in that state. She knew that Peggy would disapprove and Peggy's disapproval of how she chose to handle her problems was the last thing she needed right now. She wouldn't have coped with that on top of all the information Bucky had dumped on her last night, along with seeing Steve with bullet wounds. It was just all too much and the alcohol hadn't helped as much as Darcy had hoped it would. It had helped her sleep, at least. So that was something.

She dreaded to think what she looked like after a night of drinking and falling asleep at her desk. Her hair was likely a lost cause, and she bet that the side of her face was red from being pressed up against a hard wooden desk all night.

She stood up and her entire back  _creaked_  as she did so. She let out a hiss as her vertebrae realigned. Yeah, sleeping at her desk was not something that she would recommend doing again. She ached, and she wasn't entirely sure how much of it was the alcohol and how much was her choice of place to sleep. She made a mental note to make something to sleep on in her workshop.

It was a little after nine in the morning, Darcy noted, looking at her watch. That meant that the corridors would be full of people and she wouldn't manage to get back to her room without seeing anyone. Fantastic.

She managed to locate an elastic band for her hair, which made it at least slightly more presentable, and smoothed down her clothes as much as she could. Deeming herself the best she could possibly look under the circumstances, Darcy headed out of the lab.

…and ran straight into Steve.

What more could she ask from life? She probably stank of alcohol, more than likely her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, and she had clearly slept in the clothes she was wearing. And she managed to run into the one man she had spent weeks trying to avoid, and had yelled into letting a doctor operate on him not even eighteen hours earlier.

Life was just full of fun surprises for Darcy Lewis.

Steve stepped back smartly, looking very awkward.

"I was just… Uh…" He pointed down the corridor. "I was just passing by," he finished.

Darcy nodded. "Oh… Uh… Okay."

Steve fidgeted for another few seconds before starting to walk down the corridor in the direction he had indicated

"Steve, wait," Darcy found herself saying. Steve turned around and he looked as surprised as she felt. "I… Uh…" She noticed that there were some people hovering in the corridor who looked very curious as to what was going on between her and Steve. She made a decision. "You wanna come in for a minute? You know, privacy?" She looked pointedly at the people around and Steve seemed to catch on.

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

She went back in to her lab and he followed her, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Now that they were alone together, Darcy felt herself begin to panic a little. She wasn't prepared. She had no idea what she was going to say. She wasn't even entirely sure how she felt.

"I'm sorry," they both said, simultaneously. They sent each other an anxious, apologetic grin.

"I'm sorry about what happened," Steve told her. "It wasn't what it looked like, I swear. You know what I'm like with women. I had no idea she was flirting with me, honest. And then all of a sudden she was kissing me and I tried to push her away but then you were there…" He looked miserable.

Darcy closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for avoiding you and not letting you explain yourself," she said, eventually, when she was sure that she would speak without her voice shaking. "And I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I was childish and stupid, and I'm not sure what I can do to make it up to everyone."

Steve shrugged. "I wasn't much better. As Bucky said, I let my stupid pride get in the way of everything. I was hurt, and I know you were hurt, and it was just a whole big mess."

Darcy nodded and Steve sighed, picking up a screwdriver from the table in front of him and putting it back where it belonged, absently. This was something that he had taken to doing when he had visited Darcy's lab in the past. She always tidied up after she had finished, but Steve liked to clean up around her, which was often quite frustrating when she went for a wrench she was sure was beside her a moment ago, but Steve had tidied it away.

"So…" Steve began, looking up at her. "What happens now?"

Darcy shrugged. "I don't know, Steve," she said, honestly. "I was so ready to believe that you would do that. And part of me knew that it wasn't like you, but most of me was just so sure…" She trailed off.

"So sure of what?" Steve prompted.

_That you'd figured out I was no good_ , Darcy thought. She would never admit that to him, though.

"I just… Maybe I'm not ready to be anybody's girl," Darcy told him. "I missed you, Steve. So much. And… Maybe now isn't the right time to be going steady."

It hurt. It hurt so much to say it. But, in Darcy's mind, it needed to be said. She wasn't good enough to be a girlfriend – to be  _Steve's_  girlfriend. She was too selfish, too chaotic, too…  _her_. Steve deserved better and she could never be it.

He couldn't decipher the expression on Steve's face, but he said nothing.

"Okay," he said, eventually. "If that's what you want. But… don't ask me to go away again, Darcy. I missed you. I don't think I could handle not talkin' to you again."

Darcy shook her head emphatically. "I am not asking you to do that. I missed you too. I missed having you around and talking to you. When you're around, I feel like I can just be me, you know?"

Steve nodded. "I know. With you, I don't feel like I have to be Captain America all of the time. And I feel like Bucky's always looking to remind himself that I'm the skinny boy he used to know… You see both… and neither. You just see me."

Darcy smiled. "Okay. It's decided. I see you, you see me. We will not stop seeing each other. Agreed?"

She held her hand out and Steve took it, shaking it solemnly. "Agreed."

They both hovered a little awkwardly for a minute before Darcy thought  _what the hell,_ and stepped forward to hug Steve. He returned the hug and they both enjoyed each other's presence for a while before stepping back.

"So," Steve began, conversationally. "I think Bucky has money on us making up. Want to mess with his head a little?"

Darcy grinned. "Oh, Steve. You know me so well."


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy lets something slip. Steve has fun. Gabe makes a lot of money.

 

They cornered Gabe a short time later and found out that Bucky had money on Darcy and Steve making up by the end of the day. Since they couldn't bet, themselves, they figured they may as well make Gabe some money while they messed with Bucky, so they told Gabe to make a bet for the day after tomorrow and set off to plan.

Coming up with plans to fool Bucky into thinking he didn't know them quite as well as he thought he did, Darcy realized just how much she had missed Steve. She knew she had missed him, but it wasn't until he was back in her life that she realized just how empty her life had felt with him no longer around. And when she thought of how he came back with three bullet wounds just yesterday, the thought of him being gone forever terrified her. She wasn't sure how she could live a full life if he wasn't around.

She knew that she was no good for him, and realistically, he would probably be better off if he realized it himself. But Darcy was too selfish. She wanted – no,  _needed –_ him around. So she pushed all of that away and enjoyed every moment she could in his company.

Fooling Bucky was a rather fun idea. In the middle of a war, they had to find some way of keeping up the lightheartedness; otherwise they would all go mad. Steve and Darcy justified their actions thusly.

With every idea that Steve brought forward, his eyes glinted in good humor. Darcy enjoyed it immensely. There was a mischievous side to Steve that wasn't seen very often, but Darcy loved it. Growing up with Howard, Darcy hadn't had much chance to indulge in 'childish behavior,' as this could be seen. Howard had little time for anything that wouldn't further his experiments and knowledge – apart from women – and Darcy learned that to keep her brother's attention, she had to be helpful and try to keep up with him, both mentally and physically. Steve, however, had grown up with Bucky, who enjoyed many lighthearted pastimes. Steve had participated whenever his health allowed, but it seemed that he was now making up for lost time spent in his sickbed.

They spent the rest of the morning in Darcy's lab, only parting for lunch, as it would seem very odd for them to be taking lunch together if they wanted to broadcast that they were still arguing. Besides, Steve would be expected to sit with the rest of his team in the mess. Darcy had been taking lunch back to her lab, which Peggy wholly disapproved of, saying it was unhygienic to eat on a surface that also contained four separate types of machine oil. Darcy ignored her, which was often a dangerous thing to do, but lately Darcy just hadn't cared one bit. She had been too obsessed with this whole thing with Steve.

Looking back now, Darcy could see that she had acted immaturely about the whole thing. She would never admit it to anyone but Steve, however, and that was only because Steve had admitted the same to her.

Part of her wanted to know if she could also fool Peggy like they were attempting to fool Bucky, but she thought it was very unlikely. Peggy was very intuitive and would very likely know without having to be told a single thing. There were not many secrets that Peggy did not have ways of finding out. There was still a part of Darcy that wanted to be Peggy Carter when she grew up, but she was at least now getting more comfortable in her own skin. Steve seemed to like her for who she was, so maybe she couldn't be that bad after all?

Her theory was proved right when Peggy came to her lab while Darcy was eating her lunch and stopped just inside the doorway, looking at Darcy shrewdly.

"Something is different," she declared.

Darcy decided to go for a subtle nonchalance. "Oh?"

Peggy narrowed her eyes. "Steve was here, wasn't he?" she said, after a short silence.

Darcy sighed, giving up any attempts at subtlety. "How is it you always know everything? It's a bit disconcerting, but extremely impressive at the same time."

The other woman grinned, unapologetically. "I get that rather a lot."

She pulled up another chair to Darcy's desk. "So?"

Shrugging, Darcy picked apart her sandwich. "So, what?"

"So, what happened?" Peggy asked. "I don't usually indulge in gossip, but I have an unfettered interest in this matter."

Giving up on her sandwich, Darcy set it down. "We talked. We've decided to go back to how things were. We missed each other and it just seems like getting involved rather complicated things. Maybe it's just better to go back and try again, on a different track this time. War isn't always the best time to get involved with a soldier."

Peggy looked at her for some time, her gaze searching for something, Darcy didn't know what.

"Are you protecting yourself, or protecting him?" she asked.

Darcy folded her arms. "What does it matter?"

"Because outwardly, I think that you want people to think that you're selfish, protecting yourself from getting too hurt if Steve doesn't come back. But we both know that's not true," Peggy told her.

Narrowing her eyes, Darcy challenged, "Oh yeah?"

"Yes," Peggy said, crisply. "Because we both know very well that, at this point, whether you are involved with Steve Rogers or not, his death would hurt like a part of your very self was missing."

Darcy knew that it was true. And she hated that Peggy knew her well enough that she would know this.

"And we both know," Peggy continued. "That if you make it seem like you're just worried about what will happen to him, Steve will accept it. But if he finds out what else is bothering you, he will never give up. And this terrifies you."

"Peggy..." Darcy didn't know what she would say. She wanted Peggy to stop talking. She didn't want to hear it. It would be the truth, she knew. But that didn't make it any easier to hear out loud.

"You don't want him to know that you think he's better off without you."

Darcy had been thinking it to herself for weeks, but hearing it out loud was different. It was like a knife to the gut. A sob broke out of her, surprising the both of them. And after that first one, it was like a dam breaking. Sobs just poured from her without any stopping them. Darcy didn't know what to do. She flailed around, knowing how unattractive she must look right now, but not caring in the slightest. Peggy didn't seem to know what to do, either. She looked exceedingly uncomfortable and just sort of patted Darcy on the arm slightly, pulling a handkerchief out from somewhere and offering it to Darcy quickly.

Darcy couldn't even get coherent words out for quite some time. Every time she opened her mouth to say something, a sob took over and burst from her mouth instead. Peggy's handkerchief was quite damp from trying to stem the flow by the time Darcy felt calm enough to speak.

"I don't understand," she said, miserably. "I'm just… me. I'm not good enough for someone like Steve. He's so good. And I make things that kill people. He is worth so much. And I only have worth if I can be put to some use."

Peggy narrowed her eyes. "Now why would you think that?" she asked, sharply.

Fiddling with the handkerchief and not meeting Peggy's eye, Darcy shrugged. "Mrs. Stark only wanted me around when I could be useful. Dad only paid me any attention when I could be his proper little girl. Howard only saw me if I could be any use to him. Even now, I can't keep his attention for more than five minutes unless I'm doing something for him. Even then, it's not guaranteed. The SSR and the army want me because I can build things for them and keep Howard in line most of the time. Even Bucky wants me to be good to Steve and help him. My entire life, people have wanted me to be useful. And then Steve comes along and he doesn't  _want_  anything from me. And I just don't understand why!"

As she finishes, Darcy drops back down like a puppet whose strings have just been cut.

She didn't mean to say all of that. Not that it wasn't the truth, because it was. She didn't understand why Steve didn't seem to want anything from her. People wanted things. It was human nature, as far as she understood it. People didn't just want to spend all of their free time with another person for seemingly no reason. It didn't make any sense. She didn't understand and Darcy hated the uneasiness she felt when she didn't understand something.

But she was also terrified to understand. Because what if she found out the reason Steve wanted to be around her and it made her think of Steve differently? She hated any possible outcome where Steve might come out the bad guy. She would much rather she didn't know.

Peggy made a small motion, as if to comfort Darcy in some way, and Darcy stiffened. Now Peggy knew. Peggy knew the things that had been crawling around in Darcy's brain and her insecurities had all been put out on display. She felt naked and had the overwhelming urge to just get out of there and hide somewhere where no one would find her, at least for a little while.

She stood up.

"I've got- gotta go," Darcy stuttered, pushing her chair back into her desk as she grabbed her jacket from the back of it.

"Go?" Peggy asked. "Go where?"

Darcy shrugged. "I don't know," she mumbled. "Just gotta go."

She made for the door but Peggy caught her arm before she could even get halfway there. Peggy was a lot stronger than Darcy, and she knew that if Peggy really didn't want her to go somewhere, then Darcy would not be going.

"Normally, I think it's a good idea to find a space of your own to sort your thoughts out," Peggy told her. "But in this case, I think that would probably be the worst thing you could do." She pulled Darcy away from the door and directed her to the chair that she had just vacated.

"Peggy," Darcy protested, struggling weakly against the other woman's firm grip. "I can't… I-"

"Darcy," Peggy said firmly, leaning against the desk. "I know I'm not going to be able to change the way you see yourself overnight, but I am telling you now, you have to stop doing this to yourself. You may not believe it, but you are a smart, beautiful, lovely, woman. And you deserve so much more than you think you do. Now, life saw fit to throw Steve Rogers into your path and you are going to let that man down if you carry on like this. Because you knew Steve Rogers could be something more. And what you don't understand is that Steve thinks the exact same way about you. That you are meant for bigger things than you think you are. You're afraid that you'll let Steve down, or that he will somehow see you as you see yourself. But let me tell you this. If Steve knew what you think about yourself, he would break his own neck trying to prove you wrong. Because he thinks that you are worth it. It doesn't matter that you don't think you are. To him, you are. And you won't ever change his mind on that."

And Darcy knew that she was telling the truth. She didn't know why, but she knew that Steve didn't see her the way she saw herself. She didn't understand, because Steve was a clever man. He should be able to see it. How could he be so blind that he couldn't see what was right in front of him? But it was illogical, going by what she knew of Steve, to assume that he would think she was worthless.

And that was it, really. Being worthless was her worst fear. She had always been worth something to somebody. The thought that she would have nothing to offer somebody was terrifying.

And Darcy had no idea what she could offer Steve.

Darcy was saved having to answer Peggy in any way when alarms sounded throughout the base. The women looked at each other for a moment, before springing to their feet and heading out into the hallway, where people were running about. They headed towards Phillips's office to see him talking on the radio over his desk. He looked up when they approached.

"We've had a security breach," he informed them, shortly. "HYDRA agent got in, managed to get out with blueprints to our entire damn base."

Peggy and Darcy exchanged a horrified expression.

"Who's gone after him?" Peggy asked.

"Captain Rogers was hot on his tail," Phillips told them. "What we have to do now is make sure that he was acting alone, and if that's the only thing he stole."

* * *

Going through the archives was boring, but they needed all the manpower they could get, and Darcy wasn't adequately trained to even begin to search for double agents. So archive duty it was. She ended up being stuck with a bunch of low level agents and WAC privates who at least seemed to defer to her, even though she was a contractor and technically had no rank. Hanging out with Steve and Peggy must have made her seem way more important than she actually was. She had to remember to thank them one day.

It took several hours to conclude that there was nothing else missing that they could detect.

By that time, Steve had come back, dragging the unconscious form of the HYDRA operative behind him.

Unfortunately, before the doctor could get a look at him to discover if he had a hidden cyanide pill tooth, the man woke up and crunched on it, making him useless to all interrogation.

Steve came by her lab later that evening to share with her the events that had transpired when he had followed the man.

"…and he went down into the Underground, but the air raid sirens had sounded, and the place was being used as a shelter. So he takes this little kid hostage and he thinks that he's going to get away, but I tell him that I'll never let him get away, that I'll hunt him down, and he goes to try to shoot me and the people behind him just jump him!" Steve was gesticulating like a mad man, getting really into the storytelling. "It was amazing, Darce. They all just banded together and took down that guy."

Darcy smiled as she took apart Bucky's rifle. "Sounds like you made an impression."

Steve suddenly got a little shy and took a sheet of her draft paper, folding it into a paper glider. "Well, I dunno about that…" he mumbled.

"Are you telling me that those people would have worked together to take that guy down if you hadn't inspired them?" Darcy asked.

Steve got a little more red and mumbled incoherently so Darcy took pity on him.

"What are you doing down here, anyway? I thought we were trying to allay suspicion," she pointed out.

Steve shrugged. "I don't know. I just… I missed spending time with you, and we'll be heading out again soon. I want to enjoy this while I can. Besides, I spent a whole lot of time on my own while we were arguing anyway. The guys won't think much of it."

Darcy raised an eyebrow. "You did, huh? Were you sulking?" she asked. "Steven Grant Rogers, were you sulking over me?"

Steve didn't answer. He just threw the glider at her.

* * *

The next day passed far more quickly than Darcy wanted it to. She knew that tomorrow, she and Steve would be revealing that they had started talking again. But she was rather enjoying nobody but Peggy knowing. It made Steve sneaking down to see her just a little more exciting and dangerous. She knew that she was being silly, and it wouldn't really change anything. But Darcy still hoped that tomorrow would be just a little further away.

Sadly, life rarely went according to plan and tomorrow came regardless of anyone's feelings on the matter.

They had decided to walk to the mess together for breakfast, having discussed that this would make for the most amusing reactions. Steve was waiting outside of Darcy's lab and Steve offered his arm to Darcy, courteously. "Milady," he flourished in a facsimile of a posh accent.

Darcy smiled. "Why thank you, good sir," she replied, putting on her best Southern Belle accent.

They walked down to the mess together, turning a few heads as they did so. The fight between Captain Rogers and Darcy Lewis had spread through the SSR base like wildfire when it had first happened. Even people that Darcy had never met personally seemed to know everything about it, from their point of view. But the two of them didn't particularly care about everyone else's reactions. They were most looking forward to catching out Bucky Barnes.

Bucky thought that he knew them both so well that he could just go and interfere between them. He may have been right this time, but this was their way of making him think, just for a little while, that he wasn't as smart as he seemed to think he was. When the two of them hadn't appeared to make up after his intervention, Steve reported that Bucky actually got a little moody and started proposing schemes to get the pair of them to make up, getting more and more desperate with each suggestion.

So, walking into the mess hall arm in arm and seeing the expression on Bucky's face when his gaze landed on them was amazing.

They walked over to the table that the Commandos had appropriated and grinned down at Bucky's shocked expression as they took their own seats. They dug in to their breakfasts, ignoring the silence that had taken over the table and the stares that were pointed their way.

"You know," Darcy remarked to Steve. "I am getting so sick of oatmeal. You know when this war's over, I am eating bacon for breakfast every day."

"You'd get sick of bacon, eventually," Steve pointed out.

Darcy looked at him as if she didn't know who he was. "Who could ever get sick of bacon?" she asked, as if the thought was so wildly ridiculous that it would never have been uttered by a sane person.

Steve shrugged. "Someone who eats it every day?"

"Okay," Darcy began, like she was talking to a small child. "Steve, have you never eaten bacon? Because I assure you, if you had indeed eaten bacon, then you would not be saying these sacrilegious things."

Bucky, who had been watching this exchange with his mouth hanging open, chose this moment to interrupt.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked. "When did you-? How did you-?"

"I believe," Gabe said, smugly. "That some people owe me some money."

The commandos, as a group, groaned.

Bucky's mouth opened and closed, making him look like a fish, before he could form words again. He looked between Darcy and Steve, narrowing his eyes. "You made me think that I'd ruined things!" he exclaimed. "That is- that is-" He shook his head. "Evil. That is evil!" he looked at Darcy. "I think you're a bad influence on him," he accused, but keeping his tone light to show that he was joking.

Darcy grinned. "It was his idea," she told him.

Bucky rolled his eyes and looked over to where Steve was innocently shoveling oatmeal into his mouth. "Yeah, right," he said, disbelievingly.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy (sort of) gets kidnapped. Steve is a troll. Howard loses something important.

 

Darcy had been working on something new for quite a while. She didn't want to tell anybody yet, just in case it ended up not working or just not being viable, but she was quite excited about it. She was working on downsizing the existing portable radios that the military already used into something a bit more compact and lightweight that could be easily used in the field and wouldn't hinder anyone in battle.

And, okay, one of the biggest reasons for her working on this was Steve. She was getting sick of Steve and the Commandos going off all over Europe on missions and not being able to be any help at all. She ended up giving Dernier a crash course in mechanics after a mission went south because they didn't have enough mechanical knowledge between them to take down some systems in a HYDRA base. At least Dernier, being a weapons expert, had some background knowledge going in to it. Darcy was not sure she could have coped with a total layman.

With the new radios, they would be able to relay as much information as they could on what they could see, and Darcy or Howard could be on hand to talk them through what they had to do. And that's not to mention, if anything happened on a mission, Darcy would find out straight away, and not when they got back several hours, if not sometimes days, later.

Plus, she supposed, it would help the Allied war effort as a whole.

Darcy was surprised how often that was becoming an afterthought to the things she did nowadays. Most of the things she ended up making, or improving, were for the Commandos; for Steve's missions. Yeah, she still made things when she was asked for different missions that other SSR agents went on, and she still had the contract with the US Army, but there was something different about making things that would help Steve, and keep Steve safe. There was something inherently satisfying about knowing that her tech was protecting them and aiding them.

She even had ideas, if she could get it right, to fit transmitters to Steve's cowl, just so that he wouldn't lose them. She swore that Steve lost more tech than he came back with, half of the time. He was always apologetic, and came back as if he expected a reprimand, but Darcy always just rolled her eyes and invented new ways to keep him from losing his stuff.

She was trying to forget the conversation that she had been having with Peggy before the HYDRA break in. The less she thought about it the better, in her opinion. She had also been spending less time alone with Peggy. She hated that she felt she had to, as Darcy was probably the closest thing Peggy had had to a friend in the SSR base, but it was necessary. Peggy knew. She knew all of the secrets and hidden things about Darcy that Darcy had tried so hard to hide. She knew in how much esteem Darcy held herself in private. Peggy had seen her stripped bare and Darcy was very uncomfortable about it.

Darcy tinkered with the hardware for several more hours before realizing that her heart just wasn't in it right now. That usually happened if she let her mind wander and it wandered on to the conversation that she and Peggy had had. If she thought about it for long enough, she would be no good for anything for the rest of the day. It was very frustrating, especially when there was work that needed doing, and it was the reason that she had been avoiding Peggy. Seeing Peggy just made it worse.

It's just… Peggy made Darcy second guess herself and reevaluate everything she had ever thought to be true about herself. She had been comfortable, thinking those things. To her, that was just the way that the world worked. To think that someone wanted her for more than just what she could offer them? The idea was so far out of her comfort zone, and extremely confusing. She had never even considered that her world view could be wrong. It made her very uneasy, so Darcy did what she did best. She avoided it.

Deciding to give up on even trying to work for today, she started to put away her tools, leaving the works in progress on the table where she could easily come back to them in the morning. She would go and see Howard, she decided. She had not seen him in several days. He had been knee deep in some project for several days now and Darcy figured it was high time he should be turned out of his office for some food and sleep.

When she entered his lab, Howard was trying to wield a soldering gun. By trying, she meant repeatedly narrowly missing the circuit board and his fingers as he held a soldering iron in shaky hands. Darcy marched over and took it from him in one swift maneuver that spoke of years of practice doing similar things. Howard was so sleep deprived that it took him several seconds to realize that he was no longer holding the soldering iron at all, and he kept trying to solder the circuit board with thin air. Eventually, he seemed to realize and lifted his head to blink at his sister, stupidly.

"Darce?" he asked, surprised and trying to stifle a yawn. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving you from extensive burns, evidently," she replied. "Come on Howard. You know better than to be using this sort of equipment if you've been awake for longer than thirty six hours."

"I have not been awake longer than thirty six hours," Howard argued.

Unimpressed, Darcy raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?" she challenged. "Howard, what day is it?"

Howard stopped and appeared to be thinking very hard about this. "…Tuesday?" he ventured.

Darcy sighed. "It's Thursday," she corrected.

"It's Thursday?" he asked, suddenly seeming more alert. "As in, it's Friday tomorrow?"

"Well, as Friday does usually follow a Thursday in my experience, I would have to say yes," she commented. "Why? What's happening on Friday?"

Howard slumped into a chair. "I gotta tell a General that something he asked me to make just isn't possible," Howard explained, stretching out his back, which clicked from being hunched over for so long. "You know how much they love that."

Darcy did know, and had experienced it firsthand. Luckily for her, Howard took most of those meetings. The Army seemed to take Howard more seriously that they did her. Which was stupid, in her opinion. They wouldn't take her seriously because she was a woman, but they put up with Howard… generally, being Howard. The world made no sense at all.

"They're coming here?" she asked. Usually the SSR were picky about who they let into the base. It was supposed to eliminate the possibility of enemy spies getting in.

Howard nodded. "0800. These Army types like to get things done early."

They did indeed. Darcy disliked getting up early, as a rule. And before the war Darcy had been working whatever hours she desired, as long as she didn't need to accompany Howard anywhere. This suited her very well, and she was looking forward to getting back to that after they won the war.

"What did they want you to do?" Darcy asked, curiously.

Howard hesitated. "Standard privacy clause applies."

Darcy nodded. "Of course."

Howard and Darcy always made sure that their defense contracts had the same loophole. It stated that the details of the project, even the most top secret, could be shared with one chosen lab assistant. It was quite well known that Howard and Darcy didn't work well with others, so the clause wasn't looked at too closely. But, on paper, they were each others' assistants. So, legally, if the Army were to try and prosecute one of them for sharing secrets with the other, they had a paper trail to back them up. And, sometimes, you just needed someone to talk to when the government was trying to get you to make things that killed a lot of people at the same time, or in new and interesting ways.

"They wanted to find a way to keep soldiers awake for long periods of time," Howard explained. "Without needing to stop for sleep, they would be more efficient. They would be able to travel greater distances in shorter periods of time, covering more enemy territory."

"And you couldn't do it?" Darcy surmised.

"Oh I did it," Howard said grimly. "I called it Midnight Oil. The problem was it had unforeseen side effects." He ran his hand though his hair, roughly, something he only really did when he was distressed. "It caused hallucinations, severe aggression, and psychosis, just to say a few. It was like they had been awake for weeks, all in an instant. I tested a version on rats, and they ripped each other apart. Even as they were dying, they still attempted to harm each other."

Darcy looked horrified. "Oh, God. And it can't be fixed?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I've come to the conclusion that messing with a person's need to sleep just shouldn't be done."

Darcy looked at him, slumped down in the chair, sad and tired. "Maybe you should take your own advice?" she said sternly. "You'll be up bright and early and ready for your meeting if you go to bed now," she pointed out. "And then, maybe you should take the rest of the day off after that?" She saw him open his mouth to argue, so she cut him off. "Oh, come on, Howard. You need it. You've been working yourself to death. No one is gonna die just because you took one lousy day off."

* * *

Howard came out of his meeting the next morning with an annoyed and weary expression on his face. Although, he had nothing on the delegation from the US Army. The leader, a General whose nametag pronounced him 'McGuiness,' had a face like thunder and stormed past Howard like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.

Darcy raised an eyebrow, looking back to her brother. "Well, that looks like it went about as well as expected."

Sighing, Howard leant back against the wall. "I need a drink," he moaned.

She laughed. "Well, if you can last until the pub opens; I could listen to an argument for starting to drink at lunchtime."

Which she did.

They were having a rather good time and had been joined by most of the Howling Commandos by dinnertime. Darcy made sure that Howard kept supplementing his drinking with food so that he wouldn't die of alcohol poisoning. In her books, that was her being a good sister.

Darcy was sat in between Steve and Bucky, watching Howard flirt with the local women.

"If he goes home with some random woman tonight, I am volunteering all of you to go and find him when morning comes," she told the men at the table.

Bucky looked over at her from where he had been watching Howard as well. "What? I'm not sure that's in our job description, doll."

Wrinkling her nose, Darcy set her drink down on the table. "It's not really in my job description, either. Yet I do it all of the time back home. I am not doing it here as well."

Bucky went to argue further, but Steve interrupted him. "I'm sure that if the entire squad of Howling Commandos showed up often enough on the doorstep of whatever dame he managed to talk himself into the bed of, it might deter him from doing it, eventually," he pointed out.

Darcy snorted. "I wouldn't hold your breath," she mumbled picking her drink back up.

Bucky seemed to consider this. It seemed to cheer him up immensely. "You know," he commented. "I'm not sure that Steve had this much fun causing trouble before you guys pumped him full of chemicals."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "You love it," she teased.

He shrugged. "I ain't denying that," he said, amiably.

Movement to the right caught Darcy's eye and she moved her gaze to see that Peggy had walked into the pub. Darcy was down and under the table before she even knew what she was doing.

She sat there on the floor, blinking, as Steve's voice floated down to her.

"Darcy?"

"Yeah, Steve?" Darcy answered normally, as if she dived under the table in a London pub at the sight of one of their colleagues all the time.

"You doin' okay?" he asked, his voice slightly amused but tinged with worry.

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" she said, airily.

"Well, I am having this conversation with you while you are under the table," Steve pointed out. "I'm sure you can understand why that might worry me."

"She do this a lot?" Bucky asked him. "You know her better than me."

"This is a fairly new development," Steve said, dryly. "Although, she has been known to try to avoid her problems."

"Hey!" Darcy objected. "Stop talking about me as if I'm not here!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the whole point of you being under the table was you pretending that you're  _not_  here?" he snarked.

Scowling, Darcy remarked, "You know, one day I'm gonna invent a time machine and go back in time to make adjustments to Project Rebirth just to make sure that you come out with at least half as much snark, Rogers."

"You love it really, Lewis," Bucky laughed.

"I think you're mistaking me for you," Darcy bit back.

Steve sighed and Darcy could just tell that he was rolling his eyes at them. "She's gone, Darce," he said. "You can come out from under the table now."

"Huh?" Darcy feigned ignorance. "I'm not sure what you're talking about." But she came back out from under the table anyway. She was met with withering looks from both of her companions. "What?" she asked, defensively.

"Doll, the whole base knows you're avoiding Carter" Bucky told her. "You're not very subtle."

"What he's trying to say," Steve said diplomatically over Darcy's squawk of annoyance. "Is that we've noticed that you and Agent Carter seem to be having some problems recently."

"Yeah," Bucky agreed. "The kind of problems where you're ducking into empty rooms – and some not so empty ones – if you see her coming, and you're clearly sleeping in your lab again- Hey!" He got cut off when Steve punched him lightly – for Steve – in the arm.

"Darcy? What happened between you and Agent Carter?" Steve asked.

Darcy bit her lip. "Nothing bad," she promised. "It's just… personal."

"You're sure making a habit of arguing with people you work with," Bucky said. "My money's on Phillips next."

"Yeah, well I'll try to fix that for you," she replied with a scowl. She pouted for a few moments before shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"What's the matter?" Steve asked.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Darcy complained.

"Then go," Bucky told her. "We ain't stoppin' you."

"But what if Peggy's still here and she ambushes me because I'm alone? She's a spy. They do that sort of thing." Darcy knew she was whining and she didn't care.

"You are a grown woman, Darcy Lewis," Steve said, firmly. "Stop acting like a child and go to the Goddamn bathroom."

Darcy blinked and looked over at Bucky who was wearing the same stupefied expression that she had on her own face.

"You got Steve to swear," he said wondrously. "We must remember this day forever."

Darcy laughed as Steve punched Bucky's arm again. "Okay, now I really have to go. If I'm not back in five minutes, I've been kidnapped by an English spy with a grudge."

They both waved her off, unconcerned, and she walked to the bathroom. She was on her way out again when she found her path blocked by five foot five of unimpressed English spy.

Darcy looked at the woman sanding in her way, hands on her hips and lips pursed.

"You're not really gonna kidnap me, are you?" she asked, slightly uneasily. "Because I swear, that was just a joke... mostly… Maybe half… Please don't kidnap me?"

Peggy rolled her eyes. "I am not going to kidnap you," she replied. "Not only would that get me into trouble with the SSR and the entire US government, but I would have to put up with Captain Rogers and Howard Stark's incessant whining about it. Trust me; it's hardly worth the trouble."

Darcy narrowed her eyes. "That means that you've thought about it. You have actually considered kidnapping me. I don't know whether to be terrified or feel safe in the fact that you've decided the risks don't outweigh the benefits."

"Whatever helps you sleep better at night," Peggy said, dryly.

There was a silence, which was awkward, at least on Darcy's part. Peggy's neutral expression didn't so much as twitch.

"So…" Darcy coughed to break the silence. "This has been fun, but-"

"I think we need to talk," Peggy interrupted. "I thought it would be better to grab you where you wouldn't be able to duck away."

"Oh." Darcy colored. "You noticed that, huh?"

"Darcy, I think that anybody who  _hasn't_ noticed needs their eyes checking." Peggy sighed. "Maybe we should do this somewhere a little less public?"

They let Steve and Bucky know that she hadn't been kidnapped because if she just disappeared, joke about kidnapping or not, they would worry. It took less than twenty minutes to return to the bedroom that the two of them shared, although Darcy had only slept in it a handful of times in the last few months, what with her thing with Steve and then with Peggy.

Peggy sat down on her bed and Darcy mirrored her on her own.

"Firstly," Peggy began. "I would like to apologize for prying. It was none of my business and I really shouldn't have tried to meddle in your and Captain Rogers's private lives."

Whatever Darcy had been expecting, this was not it. Maybe half of her had been expecting to be forced to listen to Peggy talk about all the reasons why she was right. It's what Howard would do. Hell, he had done the very same thing the last time they had had a major argument. Most of the time, she gave up just from sheer frustration.

"I understand that you might be upset with me," Peggy continued. "But you're practically my only friend in this entire place and I have missed you terribly. I hoped that maybe our friendship wasn't irrevocably broken."

Darcy was stunned, trying to take in what she had just heard. "Wait," she said, trying to process. "You think I'm upset with you? Because you tried to interfere? You think that's why I've been avoiding you?"

"Well, yes," Peggy frowned.

Shaking her head, Darcy sighed. "I've not been avoiding you because you tried to interfere with my love life, Peg. I've been avoiding you because…" She trailed off, unsure of what to say, or even if she wanted to say it. But she decided, after a few seconds that enough was enough. It was time. She had been punishing Peggy for her own faults and shortcomings. It wasn't fair. It was time to come clean.

"I've been avoiding you because of what I said," Darcy told her. "Peg, I've never… I have never told anyone those things. Ever. Nobody else knows. I never wanted anyone to know. And I find myself just telling you all of my secrets and it scared me. You came in and you listened to what I had to say and then you tell me that I shouldn't think like that. Like it's so easy. This is my entire life, Peg. It's how it's always been. And you just go around, knowing more about me than anyone on the planet, like it's something completely normal." She took a deep breath, trying to blink the tears from her eyes that had formed against her will. "I never intended that anyone should know how I think like that. And then I just lay everything out for you like that? You look at me and I feel naked. I have nothing to hide because you know everything already, and it's really fucking scary."

She is trembling when she is done. She can't even look at Peggy.

"Darcy," Peggy said softly. "You've never really trusted anyone before in your entire life, have you?"

The change in topic startled Darcy and she looked up, frowning. "Wha-?"

"You told me what you did, shared those secrets with me because you trusted me with them," Peggy said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "You knew that I wouldn't use them against you or tell other people about them. It wasn't even a thought that occurred to you was it?"

It hadn't been, Darcy realized. In all of the time that she had been avoiding Peggy, she had never once worried that Peggy would use the things she knew to harm Darcy in any way. Neither had she thought that Peggy might tell someone else. It was just something that she knew wouldn't happen. It was common sense. Darcy shook her head jerkily, indicating to Peggy that she was right.

"You might argue that you trust Howard. You feel like you should. He's your brother. He cares about you and you care about him. But you don't trust him. Not to that level. You're always that little bit afraid that he'll stop caring about you if you stop being interesting or useful to him." Peggy cocked her head, considering Darcy carefully. "And when you saw Steve with that woman, it hit you so hard because, just maybe, you were beginning to trust him too. And you had that trust shattered in an instant."

What Peggy said sounded good, but it always did. This is what Peggy was good at. She made a living out of making people believe what she wanted them to believe. It could all be a pretty fallacy wrapped up to look attractive. It made sense, which was the attraction to Darcy.

But Peggy would never do that to her.

That was Darcy's instinct and she wanted to trust it.

Trust.

Peggy said Darcy trusted her. And maybe she was right. Like she had said, Darcy had never really trusted anyone, not really. Maybe she had trusted her mother, as most young children do, but her mother had been gone when Darcy was still quite young. She didn't entirely remember her anymore. She had some pictures, and there was the faint smell of a certain perfume that always made Darcy think of her mother, but there weren't any solid memories. Her father and Mrs. Stark couldn't be trusted. They went back on their word all of the time. Mrs. Stark had promised to love her like she was her own. That's what she had told the authorities when Darcy's mother had died. Her father always promised to take her places, only to back out at the last minute when his wife disapproved. And following Howard Stark around had soon taught her to trust no one. Everyone was in it for themselves in the end.

"You avoided me afterwards because you doubted yourself. You trusted me with something big, even though you did it unconsciously, and then had a huge moment of self doubt where you wondered whether you'd done the right thing in trusting someone," Peggy said. "And every time you saw me, all of those feelings came back, didn't they? All of that self doubt and awkwardness? Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't need to worry." There was a steely glint to her voice now. "I hope to spend the rest of my life making sure that you never have reason to doubt me, Darcy. You trust so rarely, and I am honored that you trust me."

* * *

It had been a very long night. Darcy ended up crying. It seemed like every one of these conversations ended in her crying. Maybe she should start carrying her own handkerchiefs around? But at least she and Peggy were able to sort everything out between them. It had been long and hard, but maybe now things would be better.

She headed to her lab the next morning, hoping to catch up on what she had missed by keeping Howard company when, speak of the devil, the man in question came tearing down the corridor like the devil himself.

"Howard?" she asked. "What's wrong?" she asked, noting his wild eyes and terrified expression.

"You know how you said that nobody would die just because I took the day off?" he panted.

"Yeah?" she replied, getting the worst feeling about this in the pit of her stomach.

"Well you may have been wrong," he confirmed her worst fears.

"What happened?" she asked, grabbing Howard's arm in alarm.

"McGuiness broke into my lab yesterday after our meeting and stole all the midnight oil canisters."

Oh, it was so much worse.

"What are you going to do?" Darcy watched as a determined expression came over Howard's face.

"I am going to track down the smug bastard and punch him in his Goddamn face," Howard told her. "And just hope that he hasn't had a chance to use any of it yet."

As he marched off, Darcy hoped, for everyone's sake that he hadn't.


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is tolerable. Steve steals a tank. Phillips does something unexpected.

 

Howard was back several days later with bruised knuckles.

"What happened?" Darcy asked, getting the first aid kit off of the wall of her lab. The SSR had deemed it necessary to keep one in there after the nurses got sick of treating her cuts, scrapes, and burns every other day. She was accident prone and occasionally engineered while drunk or overtired, which she supposed made her less qualified to be telling Howard off for doing the same. But she held the firm policy of 'do as I say, not as I do.'

"I punched General McGuiness in the face," Howard said, wincing as she wiped alcohol over a cut.

"Just the once?" She examined his knuckles. "Well, by the state of your hand, must have been a good hit."

"Laid him out," Howard agreed.

"He used it?" Darcy asked. "Did he not listen to you when you listed the side effects?" How could someone be so stupid?

"Oh, he listened alright," Howard said, grimly. "Which is why he dropped the canisters on Soviet troops and sat back while they ripped each other apart."

Darcy sat down and she was glad there was a chair behind her because her legs would have gone from under her either way.

"No…" she whispered.

Howard nodded, looking haunted. "Darce… I did that. We went down after it was done and… I have never seen anything like it in my entire life. That was my fault."

"It was not your fault," Darcy argued.

"I made them," Howard bit back. "I made things that did that…"

"I make guns," Darcy reminded him. "Does that mean that I'm responsible for every single person that one of my weapons kills? No. Because I can't think like that. We're weapons contractors Howard. You once told me that I had to remember that once the design is out of my hands, it is not my problem anymore. That I cannot control what people do with it. We are in a war. People are going to die. Bad people. Good people. Civilians. Military. It doesn't matter. You never intended Midnight Oil for use, Howard. And it was stolen from you, which is also not your fault. Not everything is your fault. We can't afford to think like that, you and me. We'd go mad."

Darcy was trying to make things better, but she was aware that she was rambling. She was doing her best, but she knew that Howard didn't always listen to her.

Howard shook his head, not even listening to her. "Look, Darce…" he began. "I went in to see Phillips before I came to see you. I'm going home."

Darcy froze. "What?"

"Not for good," he quickly assured her. "Just, temporarily. Couple of weeks at most. I just… I need to get out, Darce. Just for a while. It's like you said, thinking like this, I'll go mad. I need to get out so I can sort my thinking out. I'll go, spend time with Jarvis, and I'll be right as rain by the next time you see me."

"But…" Darcy panicked. "You can't leave me here! What if something happens? I can't-"

"You can," he corrected. "Kid, you are as capable as I am. Maybe more capable in some respects, but if you tell anybody I said that, I'll deny it. I'll be gone for two weeks. The Commandos aren't scheduled to go out again for another month. It's all recon and decrypting intel at the moment. You'll be fine. You'll probably get more work done because you're not worrying about whether I'm eating three square meals a day."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "I'll always worry about you, you goon."

He grinned and leaned over, kissing her on the forehead. "Stay safe, kid."

"Just as safe as you," she replied.

* * *

Darcy looked over from her work to where Steve was just waking up, having fallen asleep in the chair in her lab over an hour before.

"How can you sleep in here while I'm working?" Darcy asked, amazed at him. "I was using a power drill earlier. How on earth did you sleep through that?"

Steve shrugged, yawning. "I've learned to sleep pretty much anywhere, to be honest. You have to, when you're out there, or you won't be getting any sleep at all. And that isn't really productive in terms of getting the job done."

Darcy laughed and looked over at her work space. "Well, Howard's been gone for two days and I have already gotten a ton of work done. Maybe he should go away more often?"

"You'd miss him," Steve told her.

She pretended to think about that. "Nah," she replied with a grin. "I mean, Howard who?" They both laughed. "Okay," Darcy revised. "Maybe I would. Life probably wouldn't be the same without the random explosions followed by his voice yelling at me not to panic."

"Did that happen a lot back home too?" Steve asked. "I thought that was just due to his work here?"

"Oh no," Darcy laughed. "Howard has been causing explosions for as long as I remember. When he was fourteen he had to repair the wall between our basement and next door's when he blew a hole in it. The neighbors were mad… until he fixed all the wiring in their house. And then it was just dad and Mrs. Stark that were mad. And there was nothing he could do about that." She grinned fondly at the memory.

Just then, Gabe walked into the lab. "Hey, Phillips sent me to get you. We need you both. New intel just came in."

Darcy looked at Steve. "Good thing you had that nap. You might need it."

* * *

"HYDRA base in the Danish Straits," Phillips began, indicating the relevant part of the map. "Our intelligence suggests that they've developed some sort of weapon and they're getting ready to ship it out. Details are a bit fuzzy, but it sounds bad. It was highly implied that these weapons should not make it out to the rest of HYDRA. That's where you all come in." He looked around the room at the Howling Commandos, Peggy, Darcy, and a handful of other agents. "Miss Lewis has come up with these new communication devices which will allow her to communicate with you more easily while you are out there. You need to get as close as you can to their systems and get a good look at these weapons and relay that information to Miss Lewis, who will hopefully be able to tell you how to shut the damn things down. Any questions?"

One of the other agents spoke up. "No offense to Miss Lewis, but shouldn't we be waiting for Stark to come back? I mean, he is the expert, after all. And Miss Lewis is only his assistant."

Darcy pursed her lips, biting back a response. She looked up and was shocked to see that all of the Howling Commandos and Peggy looked affronted on her behalf and half looked like they were gearing up to say something. But, to her surprise, it was Phillips that spoke up.

"Agent Richards, over one third of Allied Military personnel, including yourself I might add, carry a firearm that Miss Lewis, herself, personally designed," Phillips said, tersely. "She was an integral part of the team that made Captain Rogers here able to do what he can do. And she is easily a match for Howard Stark even on his most bearable days. Now, if Stark were here, or would be able to get here within the next two hours, I would be happy to let them work together on this. However, that is not going to be possible. So we are left with Miss Lewis, who is the more pleasant and slightly more tolerable of the two and we are grateful to have us here with us. Now do you have a problem with that, or do you need to be excused?"

Darcy blinked as the agent turned red and shook his head, mumbling something incoherently. She looked over to see the rest of the Commandos and Peggy looking at Phillips with something like respect in their features. Phillips was stolidly refusing to meet anybody's gaze.

"Well?" he snarled. "What are you all standing around here for? Get to work!"

* * *

Darcy sat by the radio transmitter, even though she knew the team wouldn't get to the location of the HYDRA base for at least another hour, and that was if everything went well.

There was some movement behind her and Darcy didn't even look around when Peggy sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling?" Peggy asked her.

Darcy shrugged. "I don't know. I kind of wish Howard was here, if only to make me feel better. But then I wouldn't have been witness to that scene with Phillips earlier and that is something I hope I never forget as long as I live."

"It was quite remarkable," Peggy agreed, a grin tugging at her lips.

"Tell me about it," Darcy said. "I thought the man hated me."

"He's never hated you," Peggy told her. "He finds you tolerable," she joked.

"No," Darcy corrected, laughing. "He finds me  _slightly more tolerable_  than Howard. But hey, that counts as a win in my book. Slightly more tolerable than Howard. I may get that written on my gravestone when I die. It shall be my legacy." The two of them laughed for a while before they were interrupted by the radio giving off some static before a voice floated across.

"Dum Dum to Darcy," the voice said. "Do you read me?"

"Dum Dum?" Darcy asked, grabbing the microphone and turning up the volume on the receiver. "You there already?"

"You'll learn one day to not underestimate us, sweetheart," the sergeant laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," Darcy said, rolling her eyes. "What've we got Dum Dum?"

"Well," he began. "Cap seems to have encountered a slight problem."

"His problem is that he ran in without us," she heard Bucky grumble over the frequency.

"Well yeah," Dum Dum agreed. "But I think Cap found the weapons they've been making. It looks like a guy in a huge robotic suit and his friend the tank that spits out some kind of lightning."

A swear word escaped Darcy's lips before she could stop it and she and Peggy exchanged a glance.

"You know what these things are?" Dum Dum asked, catching onto the subtext of that swear word.

"Yeah," Darcy told him. "Only, the last time I saw it, it had a flamethrower."

* * *

**Los Angeles, California. 1940.**

_Darcy was bored. She was accompanying Howard on a demonstration of a new material his researchers had found in the middle of the African country of Wakanda. Most of the audience were Generals. The war in Europe may not have reached over the Atlantic yet, but most of the Military knew which way the wind was blowing, and Howard and Darcy were making their fortunes from it._

_She was waiting in the wings for Howard to finish so that they could go back home. She disliked the west coast. She was a New Yorker, born and bred, and she felt uncomfortable when she was too far away from home. It was like an itch. The city got under your skin that way. You cursed it and its inhabitants all the time you were there, but you knew it was yours. And if anybody else were to malign it, you would defend it heartily._

_Footsteps approached and Darcy turned around to see a man in a Colonel's uniform approach, a member of the military police a few steps behind him._

" _Uh… You're not supposed to be back here," she told the man._

" _I need to speak to Mr. Stark," the man insisted._

" _You and half the US Military," she told him. "What makes you so special?"_

" _We have something that he's going to want to see," the man said._

_That spiked Darcy's interest. "Oh yeah?" She looked the man up and down. "Darcy Lewis," she introduced herself. "I'm Mr. Stark's assistant."_

" _Colonel Phillips," the man said, shaking her hand._

" _Oh. I think Howard's mentioned you before," Darcy realized._

" _Yes, we've worked together before," Phillips said. "Although I'm afraid he made no mention of you." The tone was slightly accusatory, but Darcy had learned to roll with these things._

" _I prefer it that way," she told him. "I like to keep my life private."_

" _Following Mr. Stark around the country must make that pretty difficult," Phillips commented._

" _You have no idea," Darcy replied, dryly._

" _Colonel Phillips?"_

_The two of them turned around and saw Howard walk over to them._

" _What are you doing, lurking in the shadows back here?" he asked, good-naturedly. "The show's out there."_

" _Indeed," Phillips said. "But I had a different show in mind."_

_After the demonstration had ended and the guests were all gone, Phillips's escort set up a movie projector and invited Howard to sit down before turning to Darcy._

" _I'm afraid, Miss Lewis, that this is top secret and I do not have authorization to share this with you," Phillips told her._

_Darcy was just squaring up to argue with the Colonel when Howard's voice interrupted her._

" _She stays."_

_Phillips looked at Howard, annoyed. "Well, I'm afraid you'll find you don't have the authorization to request that," he growled._

" _I'm afraid you'll find I do," Howard replied, placidly. "I'm afraid that if you look into my contracts, you'll find a tiny little loophole that says I'm allowed to share whatever I damn well please with my assistant, who just happens to be Miss Lewis."_

" _I am not going to let you share secrets with your flavor of the month!" Phillips bit out._

 _Howard's eyes narrowed and Darcy felt sorry for Phillips, even though he had just maligned her character. "You are going to let me share secrets with my_ sister _or I am walking out of that Goddamn door and the US government will have to find another weapons contractor to do their dirty work," he said coldly._

_Phillips was stunned. "Your sister?" he repeated, looking over at Darcy who wiggled her fingers at him. "Why is this the first I'm hearing of this?"_

" _Like I said, Colonel," Darcy told him. "I like to keep my life private."_

_Phillips looked like he wanted to continue to argue, but sighed, giving up for the time being. "Fine. The two of you sit your damn asses down so we can watch this thing."_

" _You investing in movies now, Colonel?" Howard said lightly as Darcy settled in on the other side of him. "Good move, getting into producing. There's good money in it."_

" _The footage you are about to see," Phillips began, ignoring Howard. "Was smuggled out of Nazi Germany by Agent 13, an undercover operative the Brits have implanted in the heart of HYDRA, Hitler's advanced weapons program."_

" _Ooh," Howard stage whispered to Darcy. "The competition." Darcy rolled her eyes and put her attention back to Phillips._

_The man from the military police had gotten the film reel started and Phillips sat down on Howard's other side, still talking._

" _A few years back, a rebel-held town in fascist Spain, Guernica, was destroyed with the help of Gerenalissimo Franco's Nazi allies," he continued. "At the time, it was believed their Air Force – the Luftwaffe – was to blame." He adjusted his posture in the seat. "As you are about to see… we now know better."_

" _Is there a cartoon beforehand?" Howard asked, jokily. "I'd like to go into the lobby and get myself some treats-"_

_Darcy was about to yell at Howard to pay attention when the images started on the screen and he trailed off himself. They watched the horrors on the screen for several minutes, their eyes getting wider and their breaths catching in their throats as the images continued._

_When the reel ended, Howard and Darcy exchanged a look and turned to Phillips, who was looking at them with a knowing expression._

" _That was taken several years ago," Phillips told them. "Who knows what HYDRA are capable of now?"_

* * *

"Those things decimated a Spanish town nearly ten years ago," Darcy spoke over the radio. "If HYDRA managed to power them with the same thing they've been using with all their other weapons, it'll be nigh unstoppable."

"But not totally unstoppable, right?" Bucky said, once Dum Dum had relayed this information to the rest of the team, being the only one with an earpiece. There was a pleading note in his voice. "Because Steve's down there trying to fight this thing right now. I mean, it's on its ass right now, but it don't look like it's staying that way."

"What?" Darcy screeched. "On his own? Why?"

"Because Cap is too impatient to wait for a plan to pan out," Dum Dum explained. "It's a character flaw. We're working on it."

"Ugh!" Darcy let out a sound of frustration. "Okay. Give me a minute."

"He's fighting with a tank right now. We may not have a minute," Dum Dum told her.

"I said give me a minute," Darcy snapped.

She turned to Peggy and covered her face with her hands, thinking as fast as she could. "I can't do this," she murmured.

"Yes, you can," Peggy insisted, not even missing a beat. "And you must."

"Those things… They're-"

"I know what they are. What they can do," Peggy told her. "I smuggled the damn footage out of Germany, didn't I? I know full well what they did in the past. What you've got to do is make sure that they can't do anything like that again. Do you understand?"

Darcy nodded. She did understand. This was her job. And she was damn good at it.

"Cap's down!" Gabe shouted over the radio.

Darcy dived for the microphone and patched into Steve's frequency. "Cap? Cap? Steve, get up!" she yelled into the thing.

"Unhh…." The whine that came over the radio was a decidedly human one and Darcy sighed in relief. "Mother , is that you?" Steve joked.

"I could count all the reasons that is not the least bit funny," Darcy replied. "But I'll do it later. Right now, I know how to take that thing out."

"You know," Steve grunted, sounding like he was picking himself up. "Of all the eggheads I know, you're my favorite, Darcy."

"Aw," she grinned. "I'll do you a favor and not tell Howard you said that. Okay, here's what you need to do: first, I need you to get inside the tank."

"Oh, is that all?" Steve answered sarcastically. "Maybe I'll just knock. They'll think I've come for a cup of sugar." There was a bang and the wrenching of metal. "Well, that was anti-climactic," Steve complained. "This thing's operated by remote control."

"Okay," Darcy said, closing her eyes and envisioning it. "The control box should be at about ten o'clock as you face the barrel. I'm gonna need you to carefully pry open the casing-" There was a crashing sound as Steve obviously put his shield through the casing and Darcy sighed. "Okay, close enough."

"What now?" Steve asked.

"Now, there should be two cables in there, red and black-" Darcy explained.

"Got 'em," Steve said. "Will this do what I think it will?"

"Well, if you think that I just taught you how to hotwire a tank, you're thinking right," Darcy grinned.

"I am so glad you're on our side," Steve confessed, but Darcy could hear the smile in his voice.

"Okay, your next order of business is using the tank to make sure that armor stays down for good," Darcy insisted. "You don't want to know what these things can do together if the enemy keeps a hold of them."

"On it." There was the sound of explosions, although muffled as they were being picked up from the inside of the tank. "Wahooo!" Steve yelled happily.

"You are having way too much fun," Darcy said, rolling her eyes.

"I think I'm enjoying it just the right amount," Steve replied. Then, he paused. "Hrrm… All good things come to an end."

"Complication?" Darcy asked, concerned.

"'Fraid so," Steve told her. "Unless HYDRA invented a tank that can float, I have to get out and take the stairs."

"If they have, try and swipe the plans for me, would you?" Darcy asked, conversationally.

"Will do," Steve promised. "I'm going silent for now. The Commandos should be coming in right about-"

There was a crash and Dum Dum's voice shouting, "Alright! Now somebody give me a wahoo!"

"…now," Steve finished. "See you later, Darce," Steve said, straining as he sounded like he was engaging someone in a fight.

"See you later," Darcy said, and cut out over the sound of the Commando's yelling "Wahoo!" in reply to Dum Dum.

She turned to Peggy, remembering, finally, that she was also in the room.

"Well, that was exhausting," she admitted.

Peggy laughed. "Do you want me to get you some tea?" she asked.

"Please," Darcy agreed.


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy learns from Bucky. Steve comes back. Bucky is lost.

 

"You defeated the tech from Guernica without me?" Howard complained picking up a screwdriver and starting to unscrew the panels on a piece of equipment the Commandos had brought back from the HYDRA base for Darcy to look at. "Rude!"

"Need I remind you that you weren't here," Darcy replied, forcibly taking the screwdriver away from him. "And don't touch my stuff. If you want to do something, go do it in your own lab."

"But my lab still stinks of the General that came in and took my stuff," he complained. "Your lab always smells much nicer. How do you do that, by the way?"

"Feminine secret," Darcy smirked. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

Howard narrowed his eyes. "I would push harder if I weren't a little bit afraid that could be true. You've been spending far too much time with Carter."

"Peggy and I are friends," she reminded him. "I can spend as much time with her as I want, Howard."

"She's been teaching you all sorts of stuff," he complained. "I'm not sure I like it."

"Whether you like it or not," Darcy pointed out. "I am twenty three years old. I can spend time with whoever I like."

Howard frowned. "You're twenty three?" he asked. "When did that happen?"

"Last month, Howard," Darcy said, exasperatedly. "Remember? Falsworth baked me a cake?"

"Falsworth baked you a cake?" Howard shook his head. "That sounds like something I'd remember."

"Yeah, you'd think your own sister's birthday would be in that list as well," Darcy sighed.

"Hey." Howard grabbed her by the arm. "Let's go do something," he suggested. "You and me. It'll be fun! Just like old times."

"We have work to do, Howard, and you just had two weeks off," she reminded him. "I have all of this tech to sort through, and you have a similar pile in your lab. So, I suggest you go and air out your lab or something, because if we don't have something for Phillips by the end of the week, he won't be happy."

"But…" Howard protested.

Darcy sighed. "Look, Howard. We'll have plenty of time to do stuff together after all this is over. But I think we're nearly there. I don't know what it is. I can just feel it. This war won't last another year. 1945 will be the last. Don't ask me how. I just know."

* * *

Darcy packed up her work for the day and left to find Steve.

She couldn't even begin to quantify what her relationship was with Steve at this moment. It was beyond complicated and confusing. On one hand, what she had said when they decided not to be together still stood, in a way. She wasn't really ready to be with Steve, not yet. She was working on it, but she couldn't just fix herself overnight. There were a lot of problems to work through. Until she could sort out the way she thought about herself, how could she expect to trust how Steve saw her?

But on the other hand, every time she was near Steve she wanted to kiss him. That was not something that friends did… Unless there was a whole other facet to Steve and Bucky's relationship that she didn't know about.

So, she wanted to kiss Steve, as well as do… other things. But there was still a war on out there.

Which was also an argument for the other side. There was a war on out there. People were seizing the day all over the world, making the most of what they had while they still had it. Either one of them could die tomorrow, so what was wrong of taking advantage of that?

Darcy sighed. She had been having this argument for a while, and all the time, the side that wanted her to be with Steve got closer and closer to winning. And she didn't want to fight it. She wished she didn't have to. But it just wasn't the right time. That's what she kept telling herself.

She turned a corner and ran into Bucky.

"Oh, hey," she greeted. "Have you seen Steve?"

"Yeah, he's in a meeting with Phillips," Bucky told her. "Looked like they could be a while."

Darcy sighed, unhappily. Well, there were her plans for the evening down the drain.

"But me and the guys are having a poker game if you wanna join?" he suggested.

"Poker?" She perked up. "Hell yeah, I wanna play poker!"

Bucky looked at her warily. "You like poker, huh?"

Darcy grinned at him. "I'm rich. I love poker."

* * *

"Darcy, you know we love you," Dum Dum told her. "I mean, you're practically an honorary Howling Commando-"

"Aww," Darcy gushed. "You guys think of me as an honorary Commando? I'm touched. Truly, I am. I may cry into this huge pile of money you guys are just giving away-"

"-but if you don't start losing, pretty soon," Dum Dum continued, growling over her words. "I'm gonna do something I'll regret."

The other Commandos murmured agreements, looking at their cards forlornly.

"I think I figured out why you're so rich," grumbled 'Happy' Sam Sawyer.

"Yeah," Darcy agreed. "Got nothing to do with inventing weapons while working for my brother's multi-million dollar company. No, it's all to do with my mad poker skills," she grinned. She was met with silence. Everyone was looking at her in shock, apart from Bucky, who just chuckled, shaking his head. "What?" she smiled at them. "Figured we'd known each other long enough. You can all keep a secret, right? I mean, I'm practically an honorary Howling Commando."

"You're related to Stark?" Gabe asked, peering at her appraisingly. "Hmm… No. I don't see it."

"See what?" Darcy asked.

"The wires. I mean, Stark's clearly a robot designed with the clear purpose of annoying every single person he comes into contact with."

Darcy paused for a moment and then threw her head back in a loud laugh. Gabe grinned at her and the rest of the Commandos joined in.

"I thought you deserved a medal just for putting up with Stark while you're here," Falsworth told her. "I can't imagine how you've put up with him your entire life."

Darcy shrugged. "He's not that bad," she insisted. "I mean, okay, he sleeps with a lot of women. And he's kind of rude. And he has no concept of proper conduct. Or how to talk to authority. And he speaks to people like they're stupid. And makes inappropriate jokes. And… I forgot where I was going with this…"

They all laughed again and Dum Dum leaned back in his chair, adjusting the bowler hat that he never seemed to take off.

"So what does Stark think about this thing you've got going with Cap?" he asked, grinning.

" _Thing?_ " Darcy asked. "There is no 'thing'. And even if there was a 'thing,' Howard would have absolutely no say in it, seeing as he is not my father, nor my mother… Not that they would have much say in it if they were alive. I am a grown woman Goddamn it! And I can date whoever I want to date!" She folded her arms and, realizing what she had said, tried to backtrack. "Not that Steve and I are dating, because we aren't."

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Gabe murmured.

"Stop quoting Shakespeare at me, Jones," Darcy complained, throwing a quarter at the man. "Save it for the dames you want to impress."

Gabe caught the quarter, laughing.

"So," Darcy said, picking up her cards again. "We still playing?"

"I'm out," the voices from all around the table echoed.

* * *

Bucky hung back after all the other Commandos had wished her a goodnight and gone to bed.

"Is Steve seriously still in with Phillips?" Darcy asked. "It's been three hours."

Bucky shrugged. "Knowing him, he probably fell into bed and didn't notice that nobody else was about," he said.

"Probably," Darcy agreed. "That's if he didn't fall asleep in Phillips's office. I wouldn't put it past him to be able to sleep over Phillips yelling at him."

The corner of Bucky's mouth twitched. "You know him pretty well," he commented.

Darcy shrugged. "I guess."

"Yet you both keep insisting you aren't dating. Why is that?" he asked, curiously.

"If you've asked Steve," she replied, annoyed. "Then you already know."

"I've heard what Steve had to say," Bucky agreed. "I wanted to hear it from you."

"Why ?"

"There are three sides to the story. His, yours, and the truth. I'm just trying to get at the truth," he told her.

"Whatever he told you, just take it as the truth," she grumbled.

"Come on, Lewis. Throw me a bone, here," Bucky begged.

She lost all patience. "Fine. Steve and I aren't together because I am a gigantic mess who's barely fit to associate with human beings and I don't want Steve to be subjected to me until I've sorted my life out. Happy?" she snarled.

Bucky was silent and looked at her, but he didn't seem in any way shocked by what she had said.

"I thought it might be something like that," he confessed.

"What?" Darcy was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You and me, we're a lot alike," he told her. "It was just little things – small offhand comments you make sometimes – but over the past year or so, I added it all up. You don't like yourself."

"What?" Darcy could feel her cheeks heat up. "Wha-? I don-" she stammered.

"You don't feel like you can be with Steve because you don't think you're not good enough for him," Bucky pointed out. "But you're not quite strong enough to stay away from him completely. I get that. Steve has that effect on people. I've known the jerk since I was thirteen years old. And I looked at this scrawny kid who somehow thought he could take on the world and I knew that I was never going to be good enough to be friends with a kid like that. But he gets his hooks into you, and eventually, you start to wonder why you even wanted to try."

"Why are you telling me this?" Darcy asked, tears in her eyes.

"Because one day you're going to wonder why you even tried to stay apart from him. And you'll regret this time that you wasted. I know I did," he told me. "I spent months trying to tell myself I didn't want to be friends with Steve. That he didn't need me in his life. But in the end, when I gave in and just let myself be there for him, I regretted every second I tried to fight it."

* * *

His words stayed with her for days. She kept wondering whether he was right. Was it even the same? Bucky talked about friendship, but this was deeper than that. This could potentially be her entire life in one decision, and it was a near impossible one to make.

Bucky was Steve's best friend. They had known each other for something like fourteen years. Who could better understand what it was like to be close to Steve? And Bucky said that he knew how she felt about herself. Could it be true? Was she not the only one who thought this way? It seemed impossible. When faced with people like Steve and Howard, who had such differing world views, it was astonishing to find somebody who thought like she did.

And would she regret not being with Steve earlier, if she did come around to the idea? Even as she thought it, she knew that she would. She would regret it with her whole heart.

She shook her head, trying to clear her head and looked at the radio Steve had brought back from Denmark. It had taken her several hours to fix, but she knew it had been invaluable to him while he was out there, so it made it all worth it.

The sound of someone running in women's heels met her ears and she turned her head just in time to see Peggy push open the door to her lab and pant out, "Phillips's office. Now. Zola's moving and we can get him."

Darcy's eyes widened and she rushed to follow Peggy, who had already turned around and was beginning to walk very quickly to Phillips's office.

If they could capture Zola… It would be the miracle they had all been hoping for. Arnim Zola was responsible for almost all of the weapons that HYDRA had been using against them, and by all accounts was the Red Skull's right hand. The secrets he must know… If the SSR could get him to tell them anything, it could mean the beginning of the end for HYDRA, and soon after, the war.

It was almost in sight.

* * *

Darcy had been waiting by the radio for hours, waiting for news, but nobody could tell her anything. Only Steve and Dum Dum had radios. Steve hadn't switched his on yet, and hadn't made it back to where Dum Dum was waiting with the rest of the team. According to Dum Dum, there had only been enough time for three of them to get on the train, and Steve, Bucky, and Gabe had managed to get on. That was nearly two hours ago and Darcy was worried.

This was a big mission. Pretty much the mission of a lifetime. If all went well, HYDRA's top weapons designer would be within their grasp. But they had a hell of a lot to lose, as well. The Red Skull would want his right hand man to be well protected. There was likely to be a lot of opposition on that train. Who knows what the three of them could have faced?

The radio came on and static crackled.

"Darcy?"

There was something wrong. Dum Dum's voice, usually loud and booming, was quieter than it normally was, and there was an undertone that Darcy did not like.

"Dum Dum?" she answered. "What's wrong? Did Zola get away?"

"No," Dum Dum denied. "We got Zola. But Darcy… We lost Bucky."

Darcy closed her eyes and it felt like wind was rushing past her ears. "Oh God," she whispered. She shook her head and spoke into the radio. "And Steve? How is Steve?"

"Physically," Dum Dum said. "He's fine. But he won't speak. He told Gabe about Bucky when he got to him, but he's not said a word since. He's not doing too good, Darce."

Darcy nodded and then, realizing that he couldn't see her, felt stupid. "Okay. Bring him home, Dum Dum."

"Will do, sweetheart."

* * *

Steve didn't stick around after the debriefing, he just slipped away without anybody noticing where he went, but Darcy had a hunch.

The hunch proved right when she walked into the ruined building where the pub they had all frequented used to stand. The building had been destroyed in an air raid only two weeks before, and all the soldiers were circulating the other pubs in the area, trying to find their new favorite.

But this is where they had all come that night, after they first got back from Italy. This is where Steve asked Bucky to join him in the Howling Commandos. And this is where Darcy knew Steve would be.

He was sat adjacent to what was probably the only remaining intact table, slumped in a chair and staring into a glass of whisky as if it held all the answers to all the questions he'd ever dreamed about knowing.

He didn't even look at her when she picked her way through the rubble, but he started to speak. "Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means I can't get drunk. Did you know that?"

Darcy kept stepping over the remains of the pub as she made her way over to him. "Your metabolism burns four times as fast as the regular person's. It's why you have to eat more often. You'd have to drink alcohol that was four times stronger than your average spirit. But that could also possibly kill you, so I wouldn't recommend it," she added, coming to a stop in front of the table.

Steve nodded. "I never thought I'd wish I could get drunk this badly," he confessed.

"Steve, it wasn't your fault," Darcy told him.

"Did you read the reports?" he asked.

"You know I did."

"Then you know that's not true."

Darcy sighed and searched the immediate vicinity for an intact chair. Unfortunately, Steve seemed to have found the last remaining one of those as well. She decided to cut her losses and just placed herself in Steve's lap instead. To say that Steve was startled would be underplaying it. He nearly jerked out of the chair altogether, and it was only due on his quick reflexes that they both stayed on it.

"Steve," Darcy said. "Steve, look at me," she insisted, when he still wouldn't face her. She reached out and put her hand gently on the side of his face and softly guided his face up to meet hers.

"Steve, Bucky knew what he was doing. He would have followed you to the ends of the Earth, with or without your permission. Bucky chose to be there. Now, you can do this all you like, or you can think about it, truly think about it, and choose to respect Bucky's ability to make his own decisions." Darcy spoke with a soft but even tone, trying to get through to him. "He thought you were worth it, Steve. You are goodness and light and everything that is good in this world, Steve. And Bucky knew that."

She pressed her lips against his forehead and smoothed his hair down.

"We talked, you know," Darcy admitted. "A couple of nights ago. He talked about how when he first met you, he was terrified that he wasn't good enough to be your friend. That you were too good for the likes of him. And he also told me about how you wore him down, made him think that maybe he was good enough. That's what you do to people, Steve. That's what you did for Bucky. It's what you did for me."

Steve leaned his head forward and buried it in Darcy's shoulder.

"I miss him, Darce," he croaked. "It's only been a day and it feels like part of me is gone. How am I going to live the rest of my life like this?"

"The same way you did when your mom died, Steve," Darcy told him, stroking his hair, soothingly. "It hurts real bad right now, but you know it gets better. You never forget, but you learn to live with it. You have to. We all have to."


	12. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy stays safe. Steve lives dangerously. The Red Skull has a bad day.

Darcy woke up the next morning and something felt… different. It took a few moments to realize that she wasn't alone in the bed.

"Morning," Steve mumbled, pulling her tighter.

"Morning," she echoed, closing her eyes again and not wanting to move. Until she realized something and shot up, her eyes going to the other bed in the room. The bed that hadn't been touched. "Oh no."

"What?" Steve said, sitting up.

"Peggy," Darcy said. "She either tried to come to bed last night and saw us, or she somehow knew what we'd be doing and slept somewhere else… I'm not sure which of those I actually prefer."

"Can we think about it later?" Steve yawned. All of a sudden, the events of yesterday seemed to hit him and he crumpled as if he had been punched in the gut. "Oh…" he breathed, and tears filled his eyes.

Darcy turned back around and pulled him into her arms. "It's okay," she soothed.

It took him several minutes to calm down. "Darce?" he said eventually.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"You're naked," he pointed out.

She laughed. "I am. So are you."

He looked down. "Huh. We're naked and hugging."

"Yeah," Darcy grinned. "Bucky would have been throwing a party right about now."

"He would," Steve agreed, sadly.

They stayed like that for some time before Darcy sighed. "You should probably go, before you're missed," she said reluctantly. He objected when she tried to extract herself to find some clothes. "Yes, go on. You need to shower, and so do I." She got up off the bed to fetch her bra, which had ended up on the opposite side of the room, for some reason. When she came back over to the bed, she leant over and kissed him. He returned the kiss, lips parting under hers, and she could have melted into it if it weren't for the circumstances

She broke the kiss, regretfully, and poked him. "Come on, get up!"

* * *

 

She found Peggy pretty quickly, which told her that Peggy had clearly been waiting for her. No one found Peggy that quickly unless she wanted them to.

"Good morning," Peggy greeted, face completely neutral. "How are you doing this morning?"

"Fine," Darcy said, eyeing the other woman. "And you?"

"I'm doing just splendid, thank you for asking," Peggy breezed. "And how is Captain Rogers this morning?"

Darcy grabbed Peggy by the wrist and dragged her into an empty room. Peggy humored her by letting herself be dragged along. "Okay," Darcy began. "Did you see, or did you just know?"

"Well, I must admit I had a feeling," Peggy confessed. "But I just couldn't stop myself from getting a look in as well." The smirk crept in and looked as if it had been trying to creep in all morning. Darcy scowled. "So is this the end of the drama that has been Steve Rogers and Darcy Lewis's romantic troubles?" she questioned.

Darcy sighed. "I don't know. We didn't really talk about it. His best friend just died. I'd feel more than a little insensitive, Peg."

"You didn't talk about it?" Peggy asked, eyebrow raised. "You went to bed with the man, yet you didn't tell him you loved him?" She looked around exasperatedly. "You know, sometimes I feel like I am playing fairy godmother to a particularly dense Cinderella."

Glaring, Darcy snapped, "Well what would you have done, genius?"

A group of agents walked into the room. One of them looked at them, annoyed. "If you don't mind, we're having a meeting in here?"

"Of course," Peggy said. "We'll get out of your hair."

They left the room and Peggy looked at Darcy. "Don't think you're getting out of this conversation. Barnes and I worked too damn hard for this and now he's gone, it's all up to me to make sure this runs smoothly."

"My love life is not a Goddamn op, Peggy!" Darcy exclaimed, turning heel and walking furiously to her lab, grumbling all the way.

* * *

 

Phillips called a meeting with everybody with clearance less than an hour later.

Darcy settled in next to Howard and Steve came to sit at the side of her.

When Phillips started to talk, the room was silent.

"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bughouse," he began. "He thinks he's a god, and he's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the USA."

So this was Schmidt's plan? Jesus Christ.

"The power Schmidt has," Darcy spoke up. "The capabilities of it? He gets across the Atlantic, and he'll destroy the entire Eastern Seaboard in maybe an hour."

There was a silence after that.

"How much time we got?" Gabe asked.

Phillips studied the papers in his hand. "According to my new best friend, under twenty four hours," he replied.

Steve looked up in alarm.

"Where is he now?" Dernier asked.

Phillips turned the papers he was holding to show them a photo. "HYDRA's last base is here. In the Alps. Five hundred feet below the surface." He threw the photos onto the table where Morita picked them up and studied them.

"Well what are we supposed to do?" He threw the photos back down. "It's not like we can just knock on the front door."

"Why not?"

Everyone looked to Steve. Apart from Darcy and Phillips, who he had had to report to upon his return, Steve had not spoken a word to anyone since telling Gabe that Bucky was dead.

He looked up and every single face was on his. "That's exactly what we're going to do."

* * *

 

"Just for the record, I do not like this plan," Darcy grumbled. "I say just for the record because I know that you are going to go ahead and do whatever the hell you like, anyway."

"I'm glad we understand each other," Steve smiled, softly.

Darcy stepped away from the motorbike. "Okay, they're all good to go."

"Thanks, Darce," Steve told her.

"It's fine. I'd rather you were safe on a motorcycle that I personally built with all sorts of handy tricks and then made sure was up to scratch while you go on your suicide mission to take down the last part of HYDRA," she stated.

"No, really, Darce. Thank you," Steve repeated. "You don't know what you've done for me. This last day… I wouldn't have made it through without you. Heck, I'm not sure how I would have made it through the last few years without you."

Darcy smiled, a little sadly. "Don't mention it, Steve. I'm just glad that I met you. You are such an incredible person and I can't imagine going through life having never met you. I may regret a lot of things in my life, but I will never regret loving you."

Steve's eyes widened. "Hold on, say that last part again?"

"I regret a lot of things in my life?" Darcy repeated, teasing him.

Steve snorted, pulling her close. "No, the part where you love me."

"Oh, that bit?" Darcy grinned. "Nah, that bit's not important. You can live without hearing that part again…"

Steve gently nudged her in the ribs and she laughed. "Okay! Okay!" She looked up at him. Her body was flush against his now. "I love you, Steve Rogers."

Steve grinned. "Good."

Darcy blinked and laughed. "That's it? That's all I get? After all that? You are an evil man, Steve Rogers!"

He laughed with her and bent his head. "I love you, Darcy Lewis," he murmured, pressing his lips against hers firmly.

They had almost forgotten where they were when the sound of clapping and cheering broke through their little bubble and they broke apart to find the Commandos standing there, grinning at them like fools and cheering their little hearts out. Steve and Darcy stepped apart, both blushing bright red.

"About damn time," Dum Dum grumbled.

The Commandos all exchanged money as various bets were cashed. Peggy, Darcy noted, collected money from each and every one of them. When she noticed Darcy looking, she shrugged unapologetically. "A girl's gotta eat."

"If we've all finished," Phillips grumbled walking into the room. "They maybe we can move out sometime today, while there is still an East Coast to the USA."

Steve kissed her softly one last time as everyone got into the appropriate aircrafts, readying for transport as close to the Alps as they could manage without detection. "Be safe," he ordered.

"I'll be far away from the action, manning the radios," she reminded him. "I'll be fine. It's you I worry about. You… don't die."

Steve smiled. "I'll do my best," he promised.

* * *

 

The plan was for Steve to ride up to the front door of the base, cause a massive amount of destruction, and let himself be captured. To say that Darcy was not happy with this plan would be an understatement. She detested this plan and wished that it would curl up and die.

Tactically, she knew that it was golden. The Red Skull would be so happy that Steve was captured, he wouldn't be able to resist bringing him up to his main office, which happened to have big windows. The Commandos would smash through the window and the Skull would have to send for reinforcements, diverting their attention from everywhere else, which is when the other teams would move in.

It made sense. Darcy had to keep repeating that to herself to stop from going completely insane from it all. It made sense and the only reason that she hated it so much was because Steve was the one going in first and being in the most danger. But he was also the most qualified for it. She was thinking herself into circles and it was giving her a headache.

Howard had been keeping her company for the first hour or so, but when things started to look good for them, the SSR called him in, wanting him close to the base so that he could get in and start working on their systems as soon as it was safe enough for him to do so.

He had not been happy to find out about her and Steve by walking in to see him, as he put it, 'sucking her face off.' Darcy had called him a hypocrite and they had had an argument that at least killed some time while they were waiting.

Not long after their argument, Phillips radioed in to call him in and he stood up.

"Guess this is it," he murmured.

Darcy nodded. "Looks like."

He walked over and pressed a kiss to his sister's forehead. "Stay safe, kid."

"Just as safe as you," she replied, as she always did.

Darcy had been alone for almost an hour when Peggy got back to the plane where they had set up the radio a couple of hours before the attack was due to begin. "We took the base," she announced.

Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. "And Steve?"

Peggy sighed. "The Red Skull took one of the planes. We managed to get Captain Rogers onto it just before it left the runway."

Darcy blinked at her. "So what you're telling me is that the love of my life is somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on a plane filled with enough explosives to wipe out the East Coast, and a madman who thinks he's a god, who has made it clear that he wants Steve to die?"

Peggy closed her eyes. "That sums it all up rather nicely, actually."

Darcy wanted to cry, but it was like she was frozen. Everything was so cold and stiff.

"Darcy?" Peggy's voice sounded like it was coming from a long way away, but she was right there. Darcy could see her. "Darcy, come on. You need to hang in there. We need you to come with us and come and look at the Red Skull's control room. There may be the key to helping Steve and preventing the destruction there. But you need to come with me right now. There's not a lot of time. Howard's already working on getting into their systems and making sure this really is the last of HYDRA."

Darcy nodded, trying to shake herself out of it. Of course. Of course there was not a lot of time. Steve was aboard a plane loaded with missiles targeted to the Eastern Seaboard. She nodded sharply when she had gotten enough feeling back.

"Okay," she acknowledged. "Let's go."

* * *

 

The control room at the HYDRA base was different from what Darcy was used to. She was glad that Gabe had taught her German, following through on his promise to teach her once she had learned French, as all of the signs were in German, as was the labeling on the wiring when she managed to get the panel open to peer at the inside.

The radio crackled with static and a voice came over the line, speaking English, which none of them expected.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?"

Morita was the closest to the radio and answered the call swiftly. "Captain Rogers, what is your..."

Darcy nearly knocked him off of the chair he was sitting on, she tackled him so hard. "Steve? Steve is that you?" She was so relieved that the tears that just wouldn't come earlier decided to show up now; fashionably late, as always.

"Darcy?"

"Yes Steve, it's me," Darcy smiled. She was so glad that he was okay.

"Steve?" Peggy leaned over and spoke into the microphone. "Steve? What's going on up there?"

"Peggy? Schmidt's dead."

Darcy knew that it probably meant she was a bad person, that she was so happy at the knowledge that someone was dead. But she couldn't bring herself to care too much.

"What about the plane?" Peggy asked.

There was a small pause. "That's a little bit tougher to explain," he remarked.

"Give me your co ordinates," Peggy ordered pulling out a notebook and pencil from her pocket. "I'll find you a safe landing site."

"There's not gonna be a safe landing," Steve replied. "But I can try to force it down."

"Steve, I can talk you through it!" Darcy insisted, feeling a sob form in the back of her throat.

"There's not enough time," Steve said, sadly. "The thing's moving too fast and it's heading for New York. I've got to put her in the water."

"Steve…" Darcy was crying openly now. "Please, don't do this. We have time. We can work something out!"

"Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere," he told her. "If I wait any longer, people are going to die." He paused. "Darcy, this is _my_ choice. Okay?"

He was reminding her of the conversation they had had last night, about how going with Steve had been Bucky's choice. Darcy hated that Steve was using her own words against her, but she knew he was right.

She hated that he was right. She would give anything for him to wrong. Give anything for him to be safe, to know that he was going to make it back. If she closed her eyes, she could pretend – for just a second – that everything was okay. That Steve was on his way back now. And they would go out to celebrate and then go home, where they would kiss and make love and know that it would not be the last time.

"We never did manage to have that dance," Darcy sniffed.

Steve chuckled, lightly. "You dodged a bullet, there. I would have only stepped on your feet."

Darcy smiled.

"We could have been great you know," Steve told her.

"I know," she said, softly. "I love you."

"I lo-"

The radio cut out and nothing but static came over.

"Steve?" Darcy cried out. "Steve?"

She felt sick. Her head was pounding and she felt like she was going to pass out. She looked around and saw that the room had cleared. The rest of the people had cleared out when it became clear that this was a goodbye call, to give her some privacy, she expected.

The room started to spin and she took a step towards the exit. She didn't feel right at all. This was more than grief she was feeling. This was debilitating. Her brain felt like it was shutting down. She didn't even make one step forwards before her legs stopped cooperating. Her hands and knees hit the floor and she wanted to shout out for help, but when she opened her mouth nothing would come out.

Her elbows gave out next, and her sight soon followed, her vision gaining several black spots that grew bigger and bigger until it blacked out her sight altogether.

Her hearing was the last thing to go and, as she lost herself to unconsciousness, the last thing she heard was the static of the radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an epilogue left!


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy has a well deserved nap. Steve waits. Jane gets a headache.

 

Darcy still hasn't woken up by the time Bruce gets there with Thor's magic suppression cuffs so that they can transport Amora to the tower.

Jane wants to call an ambulance for Darcy but Tony, Thor, and Steve all argue that a regular doctor would be useless where magic was involved and that the best thing to do would be to take Darcy back to Avengers Tower where she would be safe while they figure out what was going on. Steve carries her bridal style all the way, refusing to put her down until they got there.

The Avengers have all been pretty tight lipped about what exactly is going on and by the time they get to the tower and settle Darcy onto a bed in the medical bay, Jane has had enough.

"Okay," she says with a dangerous tone in her voice, looking at Thor, Tony, and Steve in turn. "One of you is going to tell me what is going on, and you are going to tell me _now_."

The three of them all eye each other, having some sort of silent battle, which Steve seems to lose, as he is the one who speaks next.

"We think that when Darcy got in the way, the spell went awry and still changed the past, but not in the way the spell intended," Steve begins.

"Yes, I got that," Jane says, impatiently. "The two of you recognized her, though. Does that mean..?"

Steve sighs. "I met Darcy Lewis in 1943, before I even became Captain America," he tells her. "Only back then she was a mechanical engineer working with the SSR-"

"A mechanical engineer?" Jane repeats, perplexed.

"Is that a surprise to you?" Steve asks.

Jane shrugs. "Yeah, I mean... Darcy's always had a certain knack for fixing things, but nothing really extravagant."

Steve nods. "That must have been Howard's doing, then. With no Howard to get her into it, she never discovered her skill for it."

"Howard?" Jane is getting a little confused.

"Yeah," Tony speaks up for the first time since they got there. "Howard Stark. Dear old dad."

Jane looks between the two of them. "What are you saying? Darcy knew Howard Stark?"

Steve and Tony exchange a glance before Tony speaks up again. "JARVIS? Can we get a photo of Howard and Darcy? Something from the late 30s, I think."

"Yes, sir," the AI responds. Jane had been by Avengers tower a few times, but she doesn't think she'll ever get used to the disembodied voice.

A screen on the wall by the bed flicks on, showing a black and white photograph of a man, who looks to be around twenty, and a teenage girl. The girl is showing off some sort of device, and the man has his arm around her and looks very proud.

Jane leans forward. "Is that..?"

"That is Howard Stark and his half-sister Darcy Lewis, in 1938," the AI offers.

Jane's mouth opens and closes a few times, while she tries to form words. "His _sister_?" she exclaims.

"Yep," Tony says, looking down at the woman lying in the bed in front of him. "Darcy Lewis is my Aunt."

* * *

Jane gets a headache trying to wrap her head around all of this and Thor leaves for Asgard to consult his mother. Frigga, he tells them, is the foremost expert on magic that he knows and trusts.

Steve and Tony haven't left Darcy's bedside since they brought her in. Jane, herself, only left for a few moments to have a quick discussion with Thor about the likelihood of his mother helping with this. Thor seemed pretty optimistic, so Jane hopes for the best.

"You know," Tony remarks. "My dad used to talk about her all the time. And Jarvis – the first Jarvis – he'd tell me stories about her too. She was always this sort of unreal person, you know? Someone who could argue with my dad and get him to change his mind? When I was younger, I used to wish that she'd show up and just… I don't know… make him a better person? He worked so hard on getting her back. He thought that the two of your disappearances were linked somehow. They happened on the same day; at practically the same moment. You were gone, and so was she. I think it was just a bit too much for him to handle."

Steve blinks. "I think it was."

Tony looks over. "Huh?"

"Linked," Steve clarifies, looking over at him. "If Darcy was inserted into my past by the spell, then the moment I hit the ice, she couldn't be a part of my life anymore. So the spell… shorted out, or something."

Tony considers this. "I think you may be right. I'd prefer clarification from Thor's mom, and everything, but it's a solid hypothesis."

They lapse into silence again, all three of them just looking at Darcy as if she could disappear if they looked away for too long. After several minutes of debating, Jane addresses Steve.

"I've heard about what she was to Tony, and to Howard," she tells him. "But what was she to you?"

Steve doesn't even look up. He answers with so much emotion in his voice that Jane almost can't stand to listen. "She was my everything."

* * *

Thor returns with Frigga just a few hours later, and Darcy still hasn't woken up. The queen of Asgard looks over Darcy with meticulous detail, not saying a word. When she is finished, she steps back and looks around the room. Steve had stood up the moment she entered the room, and Tony and Jane had stood out of sheer nervous energy while Frigga was examining Darcy.

"Your friend will be fine," Frigga tells them.

"Fine?" Jane asks, tentatively. "But why is she asleep?"

"The spell took a lot of energy. It has just temporarily drained her. When she is fully rested, she will awake," Frigga promises.

"And what Amora did?" Steve asks. "Changing the past? I don't know much, but isn't that sort of thing supposed to come with repercussions?"

"It is," Frigga agrees. "I felt the slight ripple in the fabric of time, but it was so inconsequential that I did not pay it much mind."

"Inconsequential?" Tony repeats. "How can changing the past be inconsequential?"

"Since it did not cause very much rippling. Darcy Lewis was able to be in the past without consequence because there was cause for her to be there. She was meant to be there. I'm afraid that this was all meant to come to pass," Frigga finishes. "Whatever she did in the past. it has always been so."

"So, what you're telling us," Jane deciphers, "Is that there was a Darcy Lewis shaped space for her to fit into? That the time stream has not been altered at all?"

Frigga nods.

"Are you saying that nothing needs fixing?" Tony asks, incredulously. "That everything's okay?"

Frigga nods. "Yes, Mr. Stark. That is, indeed, what I am saying."

Tony looks to Steve. "I don't know whether to feel relieved. Things are never this easy."

"But what about Darcy?" Jane asks. "When she wakes up, will she… will she still be the Darcy I remember? Or will she be the Darcy that Captain Rogers remembers?"

Steve's face is stony, but there is a flicker when Jane says this.

"I cannot say with any certainty," Frigga hesitates. "But I suspect that it will be somewhere in between. She could wake up with two sets of perfect memories; she may wake up with some of one, some of the other. Only time will tell."

Frigga returns to Asgard not too long later, and Bruce manages to convince the three of them to get some sleep and eat something. They are loath to leave Darcy's side, but it's hard to argue with Bruce if he's really determined.

They all return almost at the same time, having had about three hours sleep apiece. Bruce rolls his eyes as they file back into the room, but says nothing.

"Her sleep is a lot lighter now," he tells them. "She should wake up soon."

They look relieved by this information but remain silent. They've not said much to each other since Queen Frigga left, each spending time with their own thoughts.

Bruce decides to take the chance to catch some sleep himself. The other guy gets cranky when he's tired.

* * *

Darcy's first thought is of pain. Her head hurts and she isn't sure why.

Her second thought is confusion. She knows she is Darcy Lewis. But she has conflicting information as to whom, exactly, Darcy Lewis is. She remembers a brother, but she remembers being an only child. She remembers growing up in New York, and growing up in Ohio. She remembers a war she was a part of and a very different war she had nothing to do with.

And now she knows why her head hurts.

Too much knowledge. It hurts. It's like two lives are fighting in her head and she can't tell which one is even real. They both feel real. But that's impossible, right? She can't have lived both.

And then she remembers Amora. The blonde enchantress who wanted to change time. And everything makes so much more sense.

She isn't entirely sure when, exactly, the idea of magic started making sense to her, but it is the logical explanation. She just has to properly wake up and Thor will probably explain it all to her.

Thor. Avengers. Steve.

It hits her like a ton of bricks.

Steve. Steve is alive. Steve Rogers is Captain America. They had found him in the ice, Thor had told her. The same Captain America as before. The Steve that she remembers, that she had listened to on that radio. Her Steve.

The need to wake up and open her eyes gets stronger and she puts all of her effort into it.

The first thing she notices is the beep of hospital machines. That's good, right? The second thing she notices is that someone is holding her hand. The other hand is warm, big, and firm. The touch is comforting.

She opens her eyes with all the force she can muster and her eyes are on the person holding her hand, his blonde hair ruffled and untidy.

"Steve," she murmurs.

He sits up ramrod straight, startled, she assumes.

"Darcy?" he says, as if he can't believe it.

"My brain hurts," she complains.

"Darcy?" She turns her head and sees Jane.

"Jane." She looks at the astrophysicist with a practiced eye. "Have you been eating? And coffee is not a food. We've been over this."

Jane laughs in relief. "I promise I'll eat dinner tonight. All of it. What do you remember?"

Darcy closes her eyes. "Too much. Hurts."

"I'll go get Bruce," a voice to the side of her murmurs. She turns to see who it is and it feels like someone kicks her. She sits up, suddenly, ignoring her body's protesting.

Tony Stark. Tony. Howard's son. Howard. Howard, who died when she was just a baby. Howard, her brother.

Her eyes fill with tears and her hand comes up to clasp her mouth as a sob tries to escape.

"Oh, God." She starts to shake as the tears fall. "Howard? Jarvis? Ana? Peggy? Are they all..?" She couldn't bring herself to say it.

There's a short silence.

"Peggy's in a nursing home in DC," Steve tells her. "Alzheimer's. Sometimes she remembers me; sometimes she thinks that she's back in the war. They have to restrict who can see her, just in case she tells them something they're not supposed to know. That woman knows more state secrets than the President."

Darcy laughs, turning to Tony, sobering up as she does. "Oh, Tony. Your parents. I'm so sorry."

Tony shrugs. "It was a long time ago."

"What about Ana and Jarvis?" she asks. "What happened to them?"

"They practically raised me," Tony tells her. "Mom and Dad were always so busy. Ana had a stroke when I was ten. Jarvis had to retire to look after her. He kept in touch. We all went to Ana's funeral a couple of years later. And Jarvis had a heart attack a few months after that. Dad said that he just couldn't live without Ana."

Darcy nods, tears in her eyes. "That sounds about right," she says. "They loved each other so much."

"I… uh… I named my AI after him," Tony tells her, shifting uncomfortably. "Just so you don't get startled when people go around the tower calling for JARVIS."

"I'm in Avengers Tower?" Darcy asks, excitedly, ignoring her headache and trying to twist around so that she could see more of the room. "I've always wanted to go to Avengers Tower. Did I ever tell you that Clint Barton totally owes me french fries? He totally swore it wasn't him, but I know he stole my fries back in New Mexico."

"Yes, Darcy," Jane says, patiently. "I know that Hawkeye owes you fries. You bring it up every time you see him on TV."

"Oh, okay." Darcy's head is spinning and she can't keep her thoughts straight. "I need a drink."

"I'll go get you some water," Jane says, getting up.

"I don't think she means that kind of drink," Steve says, amused.

"Girl after my own heart," Tony grins.

"Technically," Darcy argues. "You probably got it from me. The Starks have a propensity to try and drink their problems away."

Tony snorts. "Tell me about it," he murmurs.

Okay, they would be coming back to _that_ later, Darcy decides.

Just then, Bruce slides into the room. "Ah," he remarks, seeing her sitting upright. "You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Like a fictional character whose author decided to give her _way_ too much back story," she says dryly.

"I take that to mean that you remember both of your pasts?" he asks coming over to look at the readouts from the machines.

Darcy nods. "So much headache, so little time."

"I can get you some aspirin for the headache," Bruce tells her. "Other than that, how do you feel? Still tired?"

She nods. "I feel like I could sleep for a week. How long was I asleep for?"

"Nineteen hours and twenty six minutes," Steve informs her before the doctor could even open his mouth.

"Nineteen hours?" Darcy repeats. "No way!"

"It seems the spell exhausted you," Bruce says. "Queen Frigga was quite sure that you were just exhausted, though. There should be no negative effects, physically, at least."

"Thor's mom was here?" Darcy asks. "And I was asleep? That's a whole new level of sucky. It is totally not fair that everyone got to meet Thor's mom and I was unconscious. I want a do over!" She folds her arms and looks every inch the petulant child.

The rest of the people in the room exchange a glance.

"I don't think we can just order the Queen of Asgard to come back just because you wanted to meet her," Jane says, reasonably.

Darcy scowls. "Well, you all suck."

* * *

Now that they see that Darcy is alright, Bruce and Darcy between them convince Jane and Tony to get some rest and something substantial to eat. Darcy can see that Tony is very much like Jane in that he forgets to take care of himself when Science is happening. She makes a mental note that, when she is better, she will make sure that he eats as well. She figures it's the least that she can do, since she missed out on him growing up.

Who would have figured that Howard would have got married and had a kid? Darcy just can't imagine it. Even when they were younger, Howard had never treated Darcy like a child. Darcy was a lab assistant, a partner. And if she was too young to understand or too little to do something, he got irritated. Darcy learned very quickly to become good at whatever Howard wanted to do because he had no patience for her otherwise. Darcy imagines Howard being like this with Tony and she feels for the man.

Steve refuses to leave, however, and Darcy turns to Bruce.

"He's pretty stubborn. I'm sure you know that by now. It's too much trouble to try to convince him otherwise, most of the time. I'll try to make sure he eats," she promises the doctor.

After Bruce nods and leaves them alone, Darcy turns to Steve, who is looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What?" she asks, a little self consciously.

Steve shrugs, softly. "I… I missed you, Darce. I mean, I know it's not been very long for you, but I've been awake for two years. To me, you've been gone two years. And now you're back, and I know you, but I don't know you at the same time. You're like a whole other different person."

Darcy doesn't know what to say. It's kind of true, she knows. Steve knows practically everything about Darcy Lewis as she was back in 1945. He knows nothing about the present day Darcy Lewis. And, although the two Darcy's personalities are the same, their backgrounds were different, they grew up in different ways.

"Then we should remedy that," Darcy tells him, decisively. "I want you to know me, Steve. All of me. I mean, I still love you."

She almost doesn't say that last part, but at the last minute she decides to let it slip out. Because it is the truth. She does still love him. Because she is still the same person that she was in 1945. It doesn't matter that she has some other experiences now, with both sets of her memories in place. She is still Darcy Lewis and she still loves Steve Rogers. And Steve deserves love. Darcy remembers seeing him on TV, before the thing with Amora happened. She remembers seeing his eyes behind the cowl as a cameraman managed to catch him as he storms past, on his way to save the day. She remembers the footage of the battle of Manhattan, watching it from her room in Norway with the English subtitles turned on. She remembers how the lone figure of Captain America, so small and alone, but fighting with all his might against an alien invasion, had pulled at her, seemingly speaking to her very soul.

And maybe this all was why. Darcy didn't believe in fate. Not really. It was too illogical, and Darcy was a very logical person, in both timelines. But, as had been said by her two favorite fictional characters, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. And, when you considered it, it was the least impossible option.

Darcy was always meant to love Steve Rogers. Their lives had been slowly coming together, even before Amora's intervention. Darcy is best friends with the girlfriend of one of Steve's teammates. She works in space owned by another of his teammates. Another of his teammates owes her french fries. They were bound to meet at some point.

But Darcy finds herself preferring the way that things had happened, in a way. It means that the awkwardness of getting to know each other and falling in love is already in the past. She is twenty three years old and she is in love with a man that knows her idiosyncrasies and loves her back, all the same. Plus, she has more mechanical engineering knowledge than the average doctoral student, despite never studying the subject formally; can speak French and German fluently, as well as the Spanish she had learned due to her college roommate, Isabella, whose grasp on the English language went woefully downhill the more she drank; and knows more about war politics than her Political Science Professors could ever dream of.

Darcy knows there are downsides as well. She logically knows that she should expect the nightmares to return. It would be ridiculous to think otherwise. But, maybe, with Steve here, they can work through it together.

Steve smiles at her softly. "I love you too, Darcy."

And that's all Darcy requires right now. The rest would work itself out somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! Stay tuned for the sequel, in which Darcy adjusts to her new old life and we discover the truth behind Amora's actions.


End file.
